Members beccajayne Posted May 31, 2013 Members Report Share Posted May 31, 2013 I lost my mam 3 weeks ago tomorrow; she died in her sleep, suddenly with no reason or explanation. She was only 47, I'm 22 and I'm not ready to start my life without her. I also feel so guilty that I never showed her how much she actually meant to me. I'm a mess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lostwithoutmum Posted May 31, 2013 Members Report Share Posted May 31, 2013 Beccajane, Nothing can be harder than losing a parent, and suddenly, but even if you think you have not 'showed' mum how much she meant to you, she knew. Mums just know how much we love them and how much they mean to us. I have been suffering massively with this feeling of guilt, and yet I know that nothing would have felt good enough....It's impossible to be able to re-pay mums...I don't know what to say because words mean little, but you are not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members beccajayne Posted May 31, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted May 31, 2013 I think that was all i was looking for out of posting. Just hearing that other people are feeling the same. And if people have been going through it for a while.. is there a time where it's possible to be happy again?I sometimes like to think she's just gone on a long holiday or something, and it helps for a while. But when reality hits me its just ten times harder. I know now that it's time for me to feel what I'm feeling, and get through it like she'd want me to.I hope she knew, i knew how much she loved me. She lived for being a mother.Thanks so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dsmurph Posted May 31, 2013 Members Report Share Posted May 31, 2013 She knew you loved her. You were blessed to have her and it sounds like she loved being a Mom. She still knows and is around you all the time. Blessings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members beccajayne Posted May 31, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted May 31, 2013 She did, it's all she ever wanted. She's left behind my 5 year old brother, though he seems to have more strength than me.One of the last things she said to me was 'I'll always be here for you'And I just always expected her to be.Is time really a healer?Or have people found bereavement counselling more helpful?Thank you for your advice x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dsmurph Posted June 1, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2013 I think time is a healer only because you learn to accept and live without. But she will always be a part of you. Just like my daughter will always be in our lives. It just can't be physically. But, the pain will always be there, for us, in some way. They have moved on to the next phase in our lives. A phase where we all move unto eventually. And one day we will get to see them again. I am sure of that. Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissuDad Posted June 2, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 2, 2013 Hi Beccajane,l´m really sorry for your loss, but don´t feel guilty about no showing how much she meant to you, they always know how much they mean to us, they made us, we´re part of them and they´ll keep living through us... Grief is a hard process, everyday I read articles regarding grief and all the emotions one can experience during this hard period... Hang in there and keep posting here, you´ll find understanding and confort knowing you´re not alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KGJ Posted June 4, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 4, 2013 I can say right now that I know how you feel. I may not EXACTLY, but I do understand at the very least. I'm also 22, and my mother also died very recently and very suddenly. It's terrifying, right? Moms are always just THERE, and when they're not its like walking a tight-rope without a safety-net.I get it.And sweetie? You're supposed to be a mess. I know that's lame and probably not very helpful but its true. Grief runs it's course through all of us in different ways. I bucked-up and never cried. I never have in front of anyone. Mainly because I had to plan the funeral and all that came with it - I had no support system, save for a grandmother that took over the financial burden - and now I just feel weird being upset over it after time has passed. But honestly, I'm a mess too.I have a lot of regrets when it comes to my mother. I too feel like I never really told her how much she meant to me or how much I NEEDED her.I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I have no idea if any of this is making any difference. But I wanted you to know that you're not alone. We're all a mess, many of us have regrets and feel guilty. Whenever I REALLY, truly can't stand how much I miss my mother I read this and it makes me feel just a tiny bit better. Enough to power through the pain. It's a poem by John Keats.A thing of beauty is a joy forever:Its loveliness increases; it will neverPass into nothingness; but still will keepA bower quiet for us, and a sleepFull of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.Contact me if you need anything, even a person to vent to.With Care -- Kaycie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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