Members coachrod Posted May 28, 2013 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2013 July 27th, 2012, my son was stillborn in Montegomery County, MD. By far, that was the worst experience of my life. That was nearly a year ago and I feel as though I've been through the 5 stages of grief a hundred times. Why can't I get over this? Whats wrong with me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mom of Chip Posted May 28, 2013 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2013 Nothing is wrong with you...You are a parent who lost a child. It is a devastating experience. You will always remember and a piece of your heart will always belong to him....but it does get easier as time goes by......if you haven't already, see about counseling with a grief counselor..Talking about it with someone who listens does help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gambitjr Posted May 28, 2013 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2013 There is nothing wrong with you at all. You are actually very normal. Just like the rest of us, you cannot let go. We feel if we let go of the event it would be the same as if we didn't care. We feel guilty about moving on. The only thing that is consistent is we pound ourselves with the pain everyday. The event will be a part of you everyday, and all the emotions that go with it. What happened is a part of you, it will always be a part of you. You have a sense of loss, and are trying to figure out what will fill the hole in your heart. I can tell you that nothing will. There is nothing you could do to change what happened as most things in this life that we think we have control over, we really don't. We actually want ourselves to feel bad as a way to not forget. All the questions that we have concerning these events will mostly go unanswered, even though we will search for them everyday. There isn't any good way to move on except to do it. It sounds weird, but move on in honor of your loss. Each day take a tiny step away from the event. That is all anyone could ask and that is all you could expect yourself to handle. Grief will bring you to your knees if you let it, and sometimes I think we expect to go through it because it has been our companion for so long. You have every right to grieve, the trick is to make it your friend. Feel the loss, but when you feel the grief set in, know that it is the depth of your love you are feeling, and the separation is where the pain comes from. If there was a magic wand we could wave to make this all go away, we all would wave it. I wish you the best and God Bless,Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted May 28, 2013 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2013 July 27th, 2012, my son was stillborn in Montegomery County, MD. By far, that was the worst experience of my life. That was nearly a year ago and I feel as though I've been through the 5 stages of grief a hundred times. Why can't I get over this? Whats wrong with me?You don't need to "get over this" as much as to heal from losing your infant son. I too lost a son at five weeks many years ago besides my 28 year old son Jesse. One thing I can say looking back on the loss of my infant that too many people tried to push me along way too fast. I won't allow that again!!! Your infant son returned to God from where he was given... it takes time. It is okay and necessary to remember and to grieve what the future might have been. We also live in a culture that is very death phobic. But a mother needs to grieve for as long as she needs to grieve. That is what is right and true. I still think at times, if Taylor, my infant boy, had lived, what would he look like? What would his interests have been? I would have four children right now if all have lived. Anyone who wants you to "get over this" leave at the curb. Peace be to you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NeverAndAlways Posted June 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 23, 2013 Sorry for your loss...I hope you have accepted that you don't get over something like that. Embrace the fact that you must grieve and that it will continue to return to you...even if the intervals become further apart. You experienced the worst nightmare...now all the world is out of the proper order it's supposed to happen in. I connected with what you said about the five stages (which are a myth)...there might really be five or so different attitudes you'll experience in grief...but they don't happen in order, they don't happen just once, and they don't feel the same way every time. It's like being a pinball in a machine where the bumpers keep changing. Sorry again for your loss...N&A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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