New to group

[Kt9394]

Hi~ I have been searching for a group like this and so happy that I did. Today has been a one month since I lost my boyfriend. We knew each other in High School (we are military brats - when to high school in Italy) and reconnected last summer. When we reconnected, I knew that he had just started a divorce, but we connected quickly and soon fell in love. I was living in San Diego and he was living near Atlanta until the end of 2012 when I transferred to Fort Worth, TX for my work.

I knew from the beginning that he had been dealing with depression most of his adult life, but was able to still have a successful life. We felt that our relationship was our chance to get a relationship right - so many of our prior relationships were so unhealthy and we worked hard not to make the same mistakes. We had tried to work through his difficult days, but the fact that he was struggling financially (lost one job at the end of 2012, found a new one in March and lost that one on April 14th) made things more difficult. I really had no idea how bad it was until he sent me an email at 417am telling me that he had killed himself - the police were called to his apartment 2 times and they left before they finally found him. The unfortunate situation in all of this, is that he had not asked his wife to sign the divorce papers yet because he wanted to be able to support his son before it became final. Our friends knew about us, but only his sister, step sister, and father knew how serious we were. While they have been supportive, they have had his wife and son in their lives for 20 years - their loyalty lies with them.

Right before Valentine's Day, he started calling me his "Angel". When I asked him why that nickname, he just said that I saved him. He is now my angel..

I miss him everyday.... today has been incredibly hard and just don't know how to cope.

Katie

[PD1]

Katie... So sorry for your loss. U are at right place. Pls feel free to share. We are all with u.

[LizzyW]

Just hang in there Katie. This is very hard to do, and it takes a strong heart, a strong mind, and a strong will. I'm so sorry to hear of how much of a struggle it has all been- that probably makes it even harder to deal with. You are among others who are going through the same thing. Hold on to your love for him, and when you need to cry,cry. When you need to be angry, be angry. The mix of emotions with such a devastating loss is surprising, and can change from moment to moment. We're here if you need to talk, vent, or just sigh. Best wishes.