Burying Dad Today - 5/22/13

[lamp]

Exactly four months after Dad's funeral, we are burying his cremains today. We had decided to delay the burial due to a very bitter winter we've had. He is being buried in the same plot as my grandmother. I am not sure what I'm feeling at this point. I have no sense of what's normal for me anymore. I see everything in a pre-Dad and post-Dad light now. He's missed one grandchild's birthday so far, my sister's birthday, Mother's Day celebrations and confirmation for two other grandkids. Next month, I'm bracing for the triple whammy of having his birthday and Father's Day coincide followed by the 5-month anniversary of his death the very next day. I just can't bear it.

A blanket of death covers me now. My father-in-law is dying as is a dear friend from church, but I have not had the courage to see either one of them. Watching them suffer is too painful and I cannot stand it. I still feel frozen.

[stillfighting431]

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s nearly 2 years since I lost my precious mom.At 4 months it’s still too early for you. You’re probably numb & stumbling around in a daze. I remember how I was a basket case at this point in my grief. For the first year, at least a few months, all the special occasions & days are a torture. I went thru a triple whamy myself recently, my sister’s B’day, my parent’s marriage Anniversary & my mom’s B’day followed recently by Mothers Day. I feel your pain. All I can tell you is that after you make it thru once, it gets easier after that. The panic & anxiety lessen. You can deal with the pain a bit better, but it always hurts.

I’m so sorry that you’ve to deal with stress of more upcoming losses when you haven’t even been able to process your own loss. This pain is a measure of what a truly amazing dad you had. Not many people have such wonderful parents or know that kind of unconditional love. Hang in there. You’re not alone. Keep writing in. It’ll help. We’re all here with you.