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Lost my daughter


gambitjr

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Not sure if anyone will read this, but hoping maybe I'll feel a little better if I type something. Lost my 36 yo daughter on April 22, 2013, to an overdose. Just sitting here feeling so lost in my life. I just cannot believe how stupid I was, not to see things that were right under my nose. I practically begged my daughter to let me help her. I treid everything I had in my parents arsenal to get through to her. I wanted to help her so desperately. I was stilll under the impression that we were still dealing with the pain pills and Clonipin. My wife recently convinced her to go to a dual diagnosis program at a local hospital, and after taking a week off, to make sure someone was here, the first day we back to our jobs, I came home to find my worst nightmare. I tried CPR, yelling at her, yelling for God's help, begged her to come back, begged God not to take her, but nothing worked. I didn't raise my daughter to not be here at 36 yo. I miss her so much.

Thanks for listening,

Al

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Hi. I´m really sorry for your loss. Please remember you did everything that you could. No words will make you feel better, I believe only time will help us deal with our losses. This forum is a nice place to share our thoughts and emotions and might bring you some solace... I wish you all the best

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Dear Al I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. It is evident how much you cared and tried to help her overcome her disease of addiction. I lost my only son, Stephen to the disease of alcoholism 6 years ago. I too tried everthing, from detox, rehabs, hospitals etc I was unsuccessful. One morning i awoke and found him gone at 41 years old.

I found coming here, just reading or posting to the "Loss of adult child section" really helped/ i connected with parents who really understood as few others can The pain will lessen, you will have more moments when you feel the grief lessen but after 6 years i find that I have set up a new "Normal".

Here is the link to the section: http://forums.grievi...an-adult-child/ Simply click on the Top right button

"Reply to this topic" and you will be supported as you should be.

You will always remember her for her beauty, her spirit her love. I think of Stephen each day, remember many glad times and am grateful he was in my life. I know that deep down he is always with me.

Be very gentle with yourself and keep coming back you are not alone

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Oh my God, the pain is unbearable today. I miss my little girl so much. It hurts in my soul. I wish she was her with me and her mom. Oh I feel so sad, it seems I miss her more everyday. The pain is so intense and crushing, it feels like you will never recover from where it takes you. I am so sorry, I feel like i failed her so badly. Oh i hurts, oh it hurts.

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Dear Al

I understand the pain and sadness that you are suffering. i just want to assure you that you did not fail your lovely daughter You loved her and did all you could to provide medical and supportive care for her. That was all you could do!!!! Please know she understood how much you loved her and it was enough.

I know that I did all I could for my son and if he was to recover he could have. God had other plans.

In surrendering to God's plan I finally accepted that "My arms are too short to box with God"

I am grateful I had Stephen in my life for 41 years and cherish the memory of his spirit . Keep shaing your pain, reading and connecting. The pain will go deeper and you will soon walk with it and with the joy of her spirit walking with you.

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I am so sorry for your loss and the pain that comes with it. I know for me, it literally feels like a chunk of my heart is gone. It is the saddest and most lonely place to be. Our Emily was 14 when she took her life in Oct. 2012. We are there where you are. I don't expect the strength of this pain to go away anytime soon. Just when I think I am finally having an ok day and that I am accepting, the grief and guilt hit me all over again. It seems lately I have been having a real hard time. She is buried about 1 1/2 hour away. I wish I could move over there so I can see her grave every day. I know her spirit has moved on, just like ours will one day. But, I am having such a hard time lately. I pray for you and your wife as I know this is a painful journey that you are on. It just doesn't seem fair. But it is.... so we have to deal, every minute, every day. We are still here and we have to deal. Take care of yourselves. Debbie

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