Members austandbay Posted May 3, 2013 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2013 I am new here and hopeful that I will find some sort of understanding. My 15 year old daughter Bailee died one month ago yesterday. We still do not have any answers as to why she suddenly went into cardiac arrest and it is so hard. she was at her best friends house when this happened and there are so many unanswered questions. She was such a good girl and we had a very close relationship and she told me everything! But I do know that teenagers will be teenagers. The other girls at the house and the mother did admit that there was some drinking going on and said that Bailee had a beer...a week or so after she passed Ifound some pictures on her ipod of her and the other girls doing shots of alcohol. I was very upset that this was kept from me and makes me believe there were probobly other things kept from me also. It is a open criminal case until a cause of death is found. We are waiting on results of her heart autopsy and toxicology results which take at least 12 weeks. Bailee did have heart surgery almost 3 years ago to close a minor hole in her heart ...it is not believed thatt this played any part in her death. I am so lost and can't stop thinking about her.. my every thought from the time I wake up until I go to sleep are consumed with her ...and I google symptoms Iwas tolld she was having before she went into cardiac arrest ...Igoogle drugs that could cause this ...Igoogle info on the device she had implanted in her heart I cannot think of anything else. I am hoping to just talk to other people who have suddenly lost their children and just find someone who understands the heartache I'm feeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted May 3, 2013 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2013 My heart goes out to you on the sudden loss of your daughter, Bailee. Many of us in the loss of an adult child have had sudden losses and you will find understanding, warmth and compassion there. There is a lot of interaction in that main forum if you care to post something there.Hugs from Jesse David's Mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members austandbay Posted May 3, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2013 Thanks Jesse ...is that forum one of the links from this forum? I did try to look at it but is it just one long message people continuee to post on? Or am Ilooking at the wrong thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dsmurph Posted May 3, 2013 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2013 Austandbay, I am sorry to hear that another young life is gone. I pray that you find answers to help give you some kind of understanding. Please continue to reach out. This is a very hard journey you are on. hugs, Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbkubitz Posted May 4, 2013 Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2013 austandbay,I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. I too lost my daughter suddenly in 2009 when she drowned in our pool. She had just turned 4. There was no warning, no time for goodbyes. One second my life was "normal", the next it was turned upside-down and full of unimaginable pain. There is no greater pain than losing a child. I'm not really sure how I functioned in those early weeks and months, but I did. I continued to take care of my other kids. The one thing I did for myself was seek out support groups and therapy. A part of me knew that the only way I was going to make it through the pain and devastation was to seek support from others who had been through the same thing.While I know why my daughter died, I don't know how she fell in or whether she struggled. There were thousands of "what ifs?" spinning in my head. What if any one little thing had been different, maybe she wouldn't have died. The image of finding her and desperately trying to revive her will haunt me forever, though I keep it at bay most of the time.I recommend you read "To the Newly Bereaved" on The Compassionate Friends (TCF) website. TCF is an organization that supports families after the death of a child. It will help you understand all the emotions and feelings you may find yourself experiencing now and in the coming months. This is a horrible reality, but it WILL get easier over time, but probably not as quickly as you'd like. Keep reaching out to people for support and take everything a moment at a time.Take care,Maria Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted May 5, 2013 Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2013 Thanks Jesse ...is that forum one of the links from this forum? I did try to look at it but is it just one long message people continuee to post on? Or am Ilooking at the wrong thing?Yes. First open the Loss of a Child forum then click on Loss of an Adult Child (forum)The posts tend to be longer in that forum and continue back for quite some time. I can't remember exactly when that forum was started. Often people are responding back to one of the posts from someone in a timely fashion so it becomes more of a continuous conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kirasmom Posted May 18, 2013 Members Report Share Posted May 18, 2013 austandbay- I can so relate to you. My 17 year old daughter collapsed in the shower from what they have said was a cardiac arrthymia-she was very healthy and athletic. This, like you, was very sudden and unexpected. It will be 2 yrs. in June but I still think about her all the time. I feel your pain and anguish of all the whys and what ifs. I just want you to know that you are not alone in your sadness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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