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Father's Day & Dad's Birthday


lamp

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Just dawned on me that my dad's birthday and Father's Day will be on the same day this year. What are the crappy odds of that happening??? I know right now that I will not be able to handle this day. Any suggestions?

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Lostwithoutmum

Hi Lamp,

Mother's Day was only one month and 4 days after mum passed, and the pain of the days before it was unreal..but I sort of lost my sense of time somehow so all days looked similar, all of them that I hardly noticed the day's rituals...

It was hard when some thoughtless colleague went on and on about the gift she got her mum ..it hurt because I would have given anything to hear mum's voice and see her smile when I/we treated her to something...

But on that day, the first without mum, I poured my heart out on a card...I told her how much we loved, how much we missed her...(and in my case, we got her beautiful flowers)..

The fact that our parents are not present with us physically doesn't mean we can't celebrate the love we have for them, but how we do it may be different ...

Mum's birthday is soon too, but every other occasion, will hurt so deep and so long without her. I cried so much when something positive she always encouraged me to do paid off (study/work related)....It felt wrong not to have *her* ...she would normally be the first person to break my news to..But then I had some dreams about her kissing my forehead, and giving my white roses...roses are flowers that remind me of her so much

What I am trying to say is every occasion, every achievement, every good day we have will hurt almost as much as the birthdays of our loved ones do....

I hope others help you come up with some ideas that you might find comforting to do on your dad's birthday/father's day xx

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Dear lamp, I am in the same situation ..this will be the first Father's Day and birthday (which also falls in June) .. we always made a big deal of both occasions. I have considered going to his favourite restaurant in his honour.. but a part of me just want to stay home and cry. I am the type of person who reads several cards until I find the right one ..and I purchase cards up to 1-2 yrs in advance. I plan to write out my thoughts and share them with my mother and husband in front of my father's picture and urn. I cannot know how I will feel until those days arrive. My only advice is that no matter what you do .. those 24 hours will pass.

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Dadsgirl81

Lamp, I just lost my father a week ago today. His birthday is June 22nd. So close to Fathers Day. This loss is affecting me tremendously. He was my rock, my cheerleader, and my hero. I understand your fear of the upcoming days! You and I are not alone!!

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My dad passed away on 5/2 and his 63rd birthday would have been on 6/9 and then Father's Day is the 16th. Not sure how I'll make it through June...or at all.

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Still trying to figure everything out -- the 5 month anniversary will also be the very next day. Each day that passes brings with it more dread. I wish I could just go away for that day, but that doesn't seem fair to my husband.

Thanks for the suggestions/support so far.

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