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Haunting images


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Hi can someone help me please

My mum died on the 26th march 13, this has hit me really badly

I having outbreaks of crying for no reason, this

can be at work or driving me car.

I went to see mum in the chapel of rest and wish i had not have done as its haunting me :( the images of her lying there cold!

I am loosing sleep over this. I lost my dad in 2007 to cancer,but my mums death has hit me worse!

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I know it is hard and I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. You are still in the shock stage of the grieving process. My mom past away on September 11, 2012. I also have a terrible image of my mother right before her death. She was struggling for air. It has been 6 months since my mom died, and I have been able to "deal" with that imagine in my head. While my mom was trying to breathe she had a stroke and never awoke. She died 2 days later. I don't struggle with the thought of my mom after she died. She didn't look like herself anymore. To me, it was obvious that she was no longer with me and her sole had already gone to heaven.

Just remember that TIME is your friend and it will get better. The images will dim, and you will feel better. I still have my days, but they are longer and longer in between. When I was 2 weeks into the grieving process it was the worst pain I had ever felt in my entire life. Coming to this site and reading the post will help you know that you aren't alone. Because the outside world will remain moving. You feel still, but life is going on around you and you can't figure out how to get back into it. It will come. Time is what will help heal you. This is what really helped me.... Someone told me that your brain is trying to comprehend what has just happened. You brain is having a difficult time understanding. Think of it kind of like a computer searching for something. Your brain has to go through all the events prior to your mom's death and then after her death. The brain is searching for some reasonable answer. It will start to heal itself soon. It will start to understand and comprehend, but like a wound...it just takes time.

So with all that said, BREATHE! CRY! Then put yourself back together, and go back to what you are attempting to get done. Find someone who will listen to you and talk talk talk to them. If you don't have someone, then write it out here. We don't know you and we won't judge you because we all understand what you are going through. My heart hurts for you because I never ever want to feel that pain again. BUT PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU WILL FEEL BETTER. Time. It takes time. One step at a time. One moment at a time. One minute, one hour, and one breakdown at a time. But you will be able to feel "normal" again.

Let us know how you are doing! We are here for YOU!

Take Care

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I am sorry for your loss. It's difficult not to dwell on those painful moments because we have a problem accepting them, they just feel alien, like not part of how we wanted things to have happened.

Mum had a smile on her face although her body was cold. Yet my heart aches so much when I remember the last night when mum was weak, fragile, and...waiting for the ambulance, she talked to us,whispering. A doctor was supposed to home visit her in the afternoon but she said/we noticed she was not feeling well....She was not actually in bed, she sat on the sofa in the living room....

I feel profound pain as I type this. I know my consolation is how strong inside she was, how serene ...but she passed in front of me, in the ambulance, I saw it but didn't want to know or believe it, I was in shock I could not cry or scream or think it. I did see the strain on their faces but mum just looked like she was asleep - I kept saying to myself she would be OK as soon as we arrive to the hospital, and the 10-minute drive felt like eternity, mum's heart had already stopped and they couldn't save her.....now that night and that morning - more than anything else - reduce me to a total wreck.

During the first 6 weeks that was all I thought about...now other images, happier images overwrite these painful memories ..I don't want that night/day to push to the background the lifetime of good and happy memories mum had, the strong and kind woman she was/is, the heart of gold she had, the things she achieved - but this is not done effortlessly....I know the intense pain of those moments keeps on surfacing and I cry, especially when I am off and thinking.....

You are not alone - hope you get through this.


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