Sister Died Of Overdose on 4/22/13

[lisa1020]

I don't know who will read this or if any of this will help but I feel alone in the death of my sister so this is why I'm here. She just died this past Monday, 4 days ago. We haven't even buried her yet and are still making funeral arrangements. My parents tried so hard for so many years to help her. They got mad, yelled, cried, pleaded, gave love, support....everything a person could possibly do to try to get their daughter clean. She would not do it. Now they are dealing with the most horrible grief and self blame. I don't even know what or how to help them cope with it all. The worst part of it all was that my dad found her lifeless body in her childhood bedroom and even attempted CPR. She never had a pulse, her heart never restarted, she could not be saved. He is now traumatized and haunted by finding her like that. I want to take that pain away for him. I wish it could've been me to find her. I could've handled it better. I hadn't really spoken to my sister in 5 years because of the addiction and while I think this may be why I am handling this a lot better than I every thought I have guilt as well. I just want to know when the sadness will start to get better. When the pain of waking every morning knowing she is no longer here will lessen. I feel like I am starting to accept her death but the sadness and pain still comes in waves. I just want it to stop. Please I just want it to stop.

[dsmurph]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister. There was a reason was your Dad found her and not you. I don't know what that is but, I know there was. I found my daughter. In an odd way I feel greatful that I was given that last moment with her, even though I knew she was gone. Yes, it did effect me. I replay a lot in my mind. But, still I am her mother and felt like that was my place, to try to save my baby. This is a long journey that you and your parents are on. Mine has only been 6 months. the pain feels like forever and yet it feels like it just happened 1 month ago. There are a lot of people on here that can give you more help than I can. I just wanted to let you know what it has been like for my short time of grief. I don't expect to feel much better for a long long time, even though I do work at it every day. Your sister is now with my daughter being held and loved beyond anything we know here. Hang in there. Debbie

[Frankie46]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister. I agree with dsmurph that there was a reason your dad found her and not you. I lost my only sibling, my brother on Feb 17th, 9 weeks and 4 days ago. I was the one who found my brother and my parents attempted CPR while I called 911..I don't think that image will ever go away.. he had no pulse either and when the ambulance got him to the hospital, they tried to revive him for another 30 minutes. The sadness and pain will come in waves, sometimes better or worse than others.. Theres no set time frame when your sadness and pain will get better as grief is different for each person. I have found that readings on Sibling grief (how we feel when we lose a sibling), going to therapy weekly and grief counseling has helped a little, but this is going to be a long process as I try to work at it and work through it everyday as well. Feel free to message me. My heart is with you......