Members Brand Posted April 21, 2013 Members Report Share Posted April 21, 2013 I am the 23 year old product of an affair my 18 year old mother had with her boss. She lived in Texas at the time and was on her own when she met my father. Apparently their affair lasted about six months... After she got pregnant she moved to california for support from my aunt because she couldn't do it alone.My father and his wife stayed together on the condition that he couldn't speak to me. Things were always sent from a po box and I never had his number to call him.I only met him in person once and I had no idea it was him. We met at a store when my mom and I went to visit people in Texas when I was about 6. He recently died of a heart attack. I flew out to Texas for his funeral... When I saw pictures of him I noticed how similar we look. Everyone knew who I was when I shook hands in the line by the coffin. He wife hugged me. They had pictures of me in his memorial video that they must have gotten from Facebook. I was extremely angry, they had no right to use my private pictures.I wasn't sad about his passing, I'm still not. I don't have any thoughts about wishing we would've had a relationship. I felt very uncomfortable at the funeral. His family talks to me through Facebook, but I just respond to nice.Is there something wrong with me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lostwithoutmum Posted April 21, 2013 Members Report Share Posted April 21, 2013 I don't think there's a 'should' here, just let your heart tell you...Feelings are not something that can be shaped in any ideal way to fit social expectations, actions can....I am not surprised you find yourself uncomfortable in the presence of what sounds like complete strangers to you, but you have done the right thing being decent and civil to those paying respect on FB ....Sorry if I don't have much to say here. I am sure people in similar scenarios can relate and help you better... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Brand Posted April 22, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted April 22, 2013 Well they're not condolences...it's my siblings, and most recently his wife commenting on stuff of mine... I was in a car accident A few weeks ago and totaled my car and my three siblings and his wife all said stuff like "please be careful" and "I'm so glad you're ok."His wife always says things on my pictures. How much I look like my father, how happy I look, how my family (mom, her husband... My dad, their two boys) are such a beautiful family. It feels weird. I'm just going to delete them now that I think about it...I'm just bugged that these people are taking an interest in my life now that my father is dead but never before... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lostwithoutmum Posted April 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted April 23, 2013 To me, it sounds like they see your father in you (how you take after him, looks-wise) and it is kind of comforting to them, I suppose.It's an awkward situation.I mean really they can't expect you to just feel close all out of the blue when they have never been part of your life before. I understand! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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