Still Grieving After 5 Years

[TOgirl]

My father died more than 5 years ago (Dec. 2007). I still have a lot of trouble with it...sometimes I will start crying out of the blue at the weirdest things. I saw someone walking down the street today who looked a bit like him, with the same walk, wearing the same jacket he used to - and I could feel myself welling up.

I got through up and down periods...I will go a couple of months without thinking of him - and then all of a sudden I will have a week where I cry at least once every day.

Is it normal to be like this 5 years later? I remember after he died someone told me that 6 months was an appropriate grief period.

I don't know what to think right now.

[ModKonnie]

TOgirl,

I am very sorry for your loss. AFter five years, it seems as though you might want to talk to a grief specialist (counselor) about what you are experiencing. Perhaps she/he would be able to best help you get through the tough moments.

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

[akd]

It took me over a year to get to the point where I was ok with accepting what had happened. One of the best people who helped me through gave me a little bit of advice - she said at close to 6 months she opened her door with tears in her eyes after having a rough day - and someone asked her if she was “Still upset by her loss.” She put her grief on hold, fearing she was doing it wrong. Once she came to the point where she realized there was no time limit, and was free to grieve as she felt led, things got easier. There is not a time limit on this stuff. Yes, it gets easier (as Im sure you can attest to) but you will always miss them, and really, I think thats ok. Remember the good times you had, be thankful for the good days (weeks/months) that you experience, and remember that its ok to be upset sometimes.

[StillGrievingToday]

I don't think there is a time limit on grieving. But if it is causing us to say NO to life then perhaps we need help with coping skills.

I put off grieving, and the second year after losing my mom is worse than the first. A friend once said you gotta feel it to heal it. Have you really felt it?

Wishing you peace. I know your pain.