Snakes & Ladders

[Lester]

I had assumed I was following a series of stages that I could try to understand through seeing how I and others dealt with loss. I now seem to be on a never ending Snakes and Ladders board, albeit one with few or no ladders. This week I have landed on a series of snakes. In addition, I have really felt another loss of confidence.

I have managed to go and see the doctor and talk to a group and a couple of short one to one sessions. The real current problem is simply loosing it. When I get into a state it is very difficult to both act and think rationally. Sleep as ever dictates some of the mood.

Sorry if a bit of a rant but I assume this is why some of us post. I take it feeling panic when dealing with some stuff is not some mad freekish thing limited to just me.

[Sammijo2424]

I feel like I am a yo-yo. Up and down, up and down. I do have a few more minutes of up after 7 weeks, I can't believe that much time has passed, cause I have just been going thru the motions, and trying to do what I am suppose to do. Making a decision is so hard for me, about anything, money matters the hardest, even though I am the one who managed our money. I am on an emotional roller-coaster, one moment I might be laughing about something the grand baby did, and the next I am crying because my husband should be here to see it. And panic, And i mean a real panic attack, do that at least once a day, but then that is down from a few weeks ago. It is so hard for me to accept, I still find myself begging God to give him back to me. So, no, it is not just you. Praying that God be with all of us.

[needy]

Lester and Sammijoe I think what your going through is completely normal. Each of our journeys will be different and also very similar in many ways. I have had so many snakes this past three weeks only very few ladders. Do the happy dance when you get a ladder.

Read how to care for yourself during the grieving process. I still get extremely foggy and irritable. Irritability is very new emotion to me and then with a huge big wham of anxiety on the side. Remember to drink lots and lots of fluids. Of course sleep dictates your mood.

Wishing you all the best.

[Caremal]

g

First what you are experiencing is NORMAL. Grief does not follow a pattern. It is UP and DOWN and sometimes in a 5 minute time frame. I say it is like a ping pong machine up and down good and bad. You laugh and then you cry. You feel guilty because you laughed and smiled and then you cry. It is OK to cry and it is ok to laugh. You might try keeping a record on a journal how today was – was it a 10 out of 10 maybe not but maybe a 3 and next week you might have a 3 ½ and then you might have a 2. Yet over the time it will get easier to deal with. Time will help the pain to be less – it will not go away it just gets easier to deal with. I also like to write letters to my husband – and I have done several. Then I also talk to him (sometimes I look at a photo sometimes not. The Chat rooms are a good place to vent as well. It is nice to just have someone to say things to and for others to understand. Us who spend time in the chat room have lost someone special in our life and know the ups and downs of the grief journey. For me knowing I was not alone and others understood where I was and what I was going through helped me. I suggest you take a deep breath and do that often. I send a BIG HUGS to you all.