Hi. I'm new. Dad passed March 1st.

[flyingiris]

My father(age 75)passed away on March 1st. He had a heart attack while home alone. We had his memorial last Thursday.

I loved my dad, but have never gotten along with my stepmom. I have virtually no relationship with any of my 4 sisters. As a result, since none of them wanted me around at family gatherings, I very seldom got to see my dad...as a matter of fact, we were not even included at Christmas.

I don't know why. I am not a bad person. I don't break the law, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I am honest and try really hard to make the best of my life, but I do struggle financially,and emotionally.

At my dads memorial, I put all of my resentment aside and was there to support my stepmom and sisters...

They repaid me by seating me ALONE(well,next to strangers) in the 3rd row, while a few family friends sat in the first 2 rows with them. My husband and son were acting as pall bearers, so they were in a different row, and I was left holding my squirmy, pacifier throwing baby...alone...unable to even concentrate on what people were saying about my dad.

I am not coping well at all.

Thanks for listening..

[ModKonnie]

Flyingiris,

I am very sorry about the loss of your dad. Have you attempted to talk to any of your sisters on an individual basis about your father? Have you ever asked why you are not included in the family gatherings? Have you attempted to work through the relationship struggles with your stepmother?

I know those are overwhelming questions but at some point you may want to think about them.

We will listen to you and support you. It was nice that your husband and son were pall bearers--do they get included, or was this just a must-needed basis?

We will be here you,

ModKonnie

[widower2]

Iris I'm so sorry, for your loss and your unthinking family. It amazes me how often this kind of thing brings out the worst in people instead of the best as you'd think it would. I wish I could say I hadn't experienced similar. It disgusts me in the extreme. I feel confident in saying that your dad is none too pleased with their BS either - but he knows how you feel and most important of all, is proud of you, esp how you rose above it all, and loves you very much. Take care and just take it a day at a time.......this takes time and lots of it.

[Bamakathy]

I know how you feel about the whole Dad/stepmom/ family situation. I faced all of that in January when my father died. I can tell you, like the previous poster, that giving for a little time for the shock of all of it to wear off, it's a good time to discuss your feelings in a kind way with the family. Just remember your intention when you talk to them. I wish you lots of luck. Solving family issues is hard but so worth it, even with all the emotions involved.