Loss of an Adult Child

[lolynbo]

I NO WHY DO PPL ACT AS IF WE "SHOULD BE OVER IT BY NOW"....LIKE WE TRADED IN A CAR, OR BROKE A LEG (SORRY MARCIA), WE LOST A PRECIOUS CHILD...WE CAN NEVER GET BACK, ON GOOD DAYS CAN BARELY REMEMBER THE SOUND OF THEIR VOICES..OR OUR LAST CONVERSATIONS WITH THEM. OR WISHING WE HAD SAID SOMETHING WE DIDNT SAY OR WISHING WE HADNT SAID....CANT REMEMBER THEIR SMELLS, SMILES...LAUGH....

I FEEL THE SAME WAY...SHUT THE HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL UP PPL...I WILL NEVER GET OVER LOSING MY DAUGHTER KOURTNEY LYNN BRACKETT-CARGAL TO FN CANCER AS LONG AS I FN LIVE.....NEVER IN A 100 MILLION YRS...AND I HOPE TO GOD I DONT LIVE THAT FRICKIN LONG....

IM SO SICK OF SEEING MY CUZIN PUT ON THE WEB "BABYSITTING MY 5 GRAND KIDS"...ONE EMAIL FROM HER IN 1 1/2 YRS IS SO DAMN GERNEROUS I DONT NO WHAT I WILL DO WITH ALL THE CARE SHE AND OTHERS HAVE SHOWN...

SOME PPL I JUST CANT STAND TO BE AROUND OR WASTE (SNAP) OF MY FINGER ON.....

THERE WE FEEL BETTER NOW DONT WE.................................

[mysonrich]

It's like what Clint Eastwood said, " there are 3 kinds of sun in Kansas ( the world maybe) sunshine, sunflowers and suns of bit**es"

that is how it seems some days.

 

sorry about the language

[hotrod]

Oh My!!

 

It is just so  sad to hear the pain and heartache within each of us.  The grief is palpable and so very understandable. 

 

Bonnie, Lorri, Carol,Dee, Terrie, Betsy,  I agree  Holidays are so very difficult.   I am touched by each of your memories  and really appreciate your posting your hearts.

 

Terrie  Your husband is in my prayers and I agree with him "It does get worse as time goes by"

 

Sue the bookmarks are beautiful 

 

My family is like the people we have talked about    They call  me often to tell about there children and what they are doing.  I have gotten to the point I am rude and say  "I really cannot listen to this I am in too much pain due to the loss of Stephen"  They say "You must get over it please!!!"  I hang up. 

 

I guess that those who  have  not experienced this type of loss, cannot relate to the devastation.  

 

Have a Restful Night

 

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

[4everjoeysmom]

I LOVE that Clint Eastwood quote! Good stuff there!!

Sue, I also will be thinking of you and praying through these coming days, that you feel warmth and comfort, and all the love that still binds you and your sweet Shell Bell!

Leah, I understand better and better with each of your posts how very complicated this grief is for you. You have so many things that compound it for you... All I can say is I am thankful you found this SAFE place to come and share, because keeping all of that in is no good. You just passed an anniversary day, which is difficult for anyone to deal with, and now the coming holidays. We'll all get through together, just like we've been doing. HUGS!

All the memories, the sadness, the holidays....sigh....

I too have been swinging between way low and fairly low since I've been home from my Stateside journey. I think because my husband is still away and won;t return till next Friday, the quiet makes it that much more lonely and sad... I made myself up and went out today to enjoy some sun and fresh air, and wound up taking face paint crayons and sidewalk chalks with me--spent 4-1/2 hours playing with many of the kids in town. It was great! The to my added delight, my husband e-mailed me some pictures that I literally have turned places upside down for the past 2 times I was back home in the States. They were black & white photos taken about 6 years ago---my absolute favorite series of pictures ever taken of Joey. So, it turned out to be a happy day with regards to finding those treasures....just wish it was him instead of these old pictures...as Patsy Cline sang...

Anyway, being that the mood is a little sad and somber, I'll go ahead and post them and maybe, just maybe, Joey will make you smile like he made me smile and laugh out loud tonight as I looked through and remembered the night he and I, and Lexy and John (my husband's kids from 1st marriage), and my beloved Boxer Gretchen (who passed the year before Joey did) played like we were on a roller coaster ride. IRONIC!! Happier days indeed...

Love & Hugs, and blessing to all!!!

First the pic of Just Joey...maybe make it my new avitar... This picture takes my breath away every time I look at it!! And HIS HANDS!! A close up of his hands. I miss seeing those hands...

[4everjoeysmom]

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[4everjoeysmom]

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[4everjoeysmom]

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[4everjoeysmom]

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[4everjoeysmom]

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[4everjoeysmom]

#6

Works best if you look from bottom to top, #1-#6

We laughed so hard during that whole thing... What fun!! What cherished memories!!!!

[mikesmum]

I don't care what he wanted to do...IT WAS GOING TO BE HIS LAST...LET HIM DO IT HIS WAY, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE...I don't care if he wanted to walk nude at the oceanside with a purple wig on...just LET him DO it!!!!!!!!!! 

Carol - oh yeah I so get it. Making memories for those who wait.  If you still have the purple wig, I could do with something to wear on the beach this summer! (lol)

Claudia - such beautifully natural pictures......the serious side of Joey and the hiliarious riot that ensued.

Betty - I used to 'do the right thing' - 'to live up to others expectations' but no more.  I have to be true to what's is now my heart.  I try staying with the idea of 'first do no harm' but with some of the suns of b***h's it ain't easy.

As for the holidays..well this year both Melissa and Steven have 'in-law' & work commitments for Christmas.  The funny thing is they were going to ask my baby brother if he 'could take me' for the day.....What the?????!!!! They don't want me to be alone, yet that would be the best present this year.. 

I thank goodness we don't have Thanksgiving here, only because too major 'family' gatherings so close would be a bit more than I could handle.

Today was the picnic/search day.  We called into the original spot only to find recent flooding has dumped tons of silt.  The area is muddy has lost its magic.  We did walk the river trail and found a rock that would be perfect for a memorial plaque reflecting the beauty of the rainforest area.

Then we decided to go further into the forest area.  There we found a new spot.  The river is clear, the water just the right depth and the surrounding area great for picnics. 

The emotional flood gates opened.  I asked Em if this would be a good spot....She is an old soul and knows her granma's heart.  Like a tour guide she explained the pros for placing a family picnic bench there - it was something Mike would love. 

Muttley god bless him decided today he would 'swim'.  The current was a tiny bit strong and he isn't that big.  He ended up travelling down stream to Emily -  It was so funny

The walking track thru the forest

The rock

The Muttley dog & me

Caleb decided even dogs need hats in the sunshine

Well time to return the little darlin's to their folks.....time for granma to fold like a jumping castle with the air let out.................Take care

 

 

[ericasmom]

Claudia, so handsome, so very Hollywood 1940's handsome in that first black adn white. Love it, and I love that the photo brought a grin to your day, how dear. The rest of the photos captured sheer joy at simply being together.

Carol, don't apologize for writing posts you silly one. I love your posts, your stories take us into your home and at the table with everyone. I love being there. Your sadness does not hurt us Sweetie, it makes us gather tighter around you as you retell a time that yanks on your heart. We gather closer to help hold you and support you. Just as you do with every single person here. I know that Mike is proud of what you do in your days to keep on keepin on.

Thanks Betsy, the words push us forward don't they?

Sue, your bookmarks are lovely, they certainly show the love in Shell's life shining out from her smile. My kids and I always shopped for those in need. I remember ERi asking that if there was a Santa, why couldn't he make gifts for everyone. I didn't have an answer except to say that everyone needs helpers, and we are helpers for Santa. As they got older we bought the things on the wish lists of these families and then some. Many a year we searched for just he right dolls, pajamas, big trucks...We often purchased for a local emergency foster care adn long term care association. It helped my kids understand the real meaning of caring for others, of grateful hearts and of helping spread goodness. When my kids were twelve or so, we would drive down on Christmas Eve, thanksgiving eve, to lower wacker drive where many homeless used to live. We had several sacks of groceries and blankets adn gloves adn sweaters.

Lorri, I know that waking up on the floor of the ICU thing, but you did it for a long time. Lord knows, so does Kourtney, that you all will find ways to bring a new meaning to the holidays. Perhaps in Kourt's name some new books in the pediatric ward of the hospital she was in?

Betty, I am sorry that your family does not get it. Now why in heaven's name would you ever be over it? Does anyone get over the birth of their little ones? NO! So why would we get over their leaving?

One thing we all seem to have in common is our Children loved the holidays, so we need to make sure that in their memory, we make the holidays special somehow. Whether it be by making a new decoration for the cemetery, or by shopping for a family, or cooking and serving at a soup kitchen...whatever it is, to be done in the light of our Loved Ones will make it Special to them and to us.

My heart and love,

dee

[ericasmom]

JINX my friend Trudi, we posted at the same time. I love you and Muttly in the water, so wonderful. I laughed at him traveling downstream. The spot looks lovely, really pretty. That Em, someday I want to meet her.

Love to you, sleep time for this old bird.

I love you Bing, my beautiful Girl. Girl of My Dreams.

[4everjoeysmom]

Carol, I have to agree with the ladies. I LOVED your post. Every time I've read your deeper intimate stories here and by e-mail, I've felt like I was there in that moment with you. You describe things so vividly. I know it's sad...but I am thankful we all still have our minds to recall the joys too!! Can't even imagine not remembering...

Trudi, like you Down Under, Thanksgiving is not a holiday recognized in Ecuador. I, too, am thankful for that. No hype. We can choose, according to how we feel at the time, whether or not and when we want to do anything. AND, not having a television, I can be choosier at what I look at--pretty much completely locking out Holiday commercialism. I'm in a small town, and people are poor. So there is not the pomp and hype that you traditionally see elsewhere. I think it's when we get plagued and inundated with television ads, public displays and so forth, that's when our hearts begin the sinking journey. And it doesn't stop until well after all that stuff disappears. I am thankful I don;t have that "in my face". it helps SO MUCH!

Has anyone ever read the book, Skipping Christmas? They made a movie of it several years back, but it was nowhere as funny as the book. It's a Grisham book, but a very easy, quick read. I laughed through so much of it...Kind of took my mind away from traditional commercialism for a while.

I should say sorry for taking up so much of a page with photo posts. I hope I am not torking anyone off by having done that. I just love those pics!! My favorites ever of Joey. I can't believe I have them again, after all this time!!!

Thinking of you Sue... and of you too Mary Ann...

Love and Hugs to my BI family! XOXOXO ~Claudia

[hotrod]

                         Happy Birthday in Heaven

                                       Michelle     

Claudia  I loved the pictures.You were all so very happy and they were special. The photo of Joey alon was breathtaking  It is a treasure.  Your mention of seeing Joey's hands reminded me that,  I feel the same way about seeing Stephen's hands.

  Stephen's hands always  strike me in any picture and I think "How very gentle he was!! How he loved to pick up his pets and hold them so close with those hands and how as a man they were so strong but when I looked at them I could still see the hands of the "CHild"  I understand.

Trudi  I loved all the pictures of your special place and of coarse my favorite dog, he out did himself again;)

                                        Happy Birthday in Heaven

                                       Michelle     

Betty

Stephen'smom

[4everjoeysmom]

Betty, EXACTLY!! You DO understand!!!

[ericasmom]

MICHELLE----The day of Your Birth, so special to all who love You, and all of us who know of You, Your spirit, Your energy, and Your unending love.I hope that You dance with all of our angels as You celebrate Your day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SHELL, and blessings Sue as you find your way through this day and each.

[shorty16]

Happy Birthday

"Michelle My Belle"

 

Love the photos Claudia

Colleen

[shorty16]

To my BI friends

Bonnie - So sorry your friends made you feel sad.  I appoligize for the comments they may have made that made you sad (sorry).

Dee - Love the avatar of Erica.  The dreads are cool!!!

Carol - Have you seem my PM yet?  I would be honored.

Marcia - Hope the weather is nice enough for you to sit and relax outside.

Betty - Is New York comming alive with the holiday season?  I would like to go pull the plug and "Fast Forward" through the holiday season.

Trudi - I hear your pain.  The road you go down (with reliving Mike's last Christmas) is one we all need to go down BUT we cannot stay on that road, because it is a dead end.

I too go down the road of "What would Brian's voice sound like" (He was a squeeker when he died),"  I know I cannot stay on that road, because that road leads no-where.  Thinking of you Trudi.

Sue - You have us that are in the know to support you on this most difficult of days.  Brian died on 6-19-08 and his 17th birthday was 7-12-08.  The second worst day of our lives.  I am thinking and praying for you today.

Betsy - love the song, sad, but so true.

Thinking of all my BI friends

Colleen

[shorty16]

Roilheiser (i hope I spelled that right, sorry if I did not).

I, for one, am honored that you feel you can come here and bear your soul.  I know you posted several pages back, but I try to keep up with almost 4 pages of posts a day on this site.  Very chatty group.

If it is one thing I learned from Brian's death is I cannot judge anyone, because when judgement day comes for me, my court hearing will last several weeks.

Jaboa sounds like a wonderful girl with a heart as big as the grand canyon.  To accept her Father without strings is a lesson we should all learn.

Again, I am honored to be an ear for you (or eyes). 

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[ericasmom]

Thanks Col, it is my favorite photo, well one of them, of ERICA.

Beth, keep on telling your story, it is the only way to rewind that ball of yarn that unravels. Tell it to unravel it, and rewind it to keep.

Love,

dee

[shorty16]

Dee

Your words are visual images to me.

When is that book going to be published.  I will get one of the first copies and drive to ask the author to sign it.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[mikesmum]

Since I started coming in here I wonder if our kids get to meet each other, even though the ages are so different...  I always thought my dad died in January just to make the transition for Jaboa better.  I wish I knew what it was like.

Leah - I believe in my heart our kids are together in someway - age being no boundary now.  Mum died in 05 and I had to believe she and my dad were waiting for their first born grandson together.  I have lost contact with Mikes daughter, his partner at the time (not one I would pick either). She has cut all ties with anyone who knew and loved Mike.  One day, one day - Harmony will seek us out and we will be there with open arms and hearts.

Never feel you need to be quiet - pouring our hearts here is like talking to old friends who get it without much explanation...come often, post when you can but never apologise.

That goes for you too Claudia - love those pics...Ahhh Gretchen what a beautiful pup!

Carol - I think you and I, Mike and Mike confuse people here no end (lol)!  Oh yeah I love the angelic face peering out from the screen at me.....he must make your heart float with those eyes.....

Colleen - I think you might have been thinking of Mike (Carol's boy - mikesmom). It was so special and so hard because they knew it would be his last.    

Our last Christmas with Mike (mikesmum) was different.  We didn't know we would be losing our boy.  The extended family gathered and our newest addition (Miss Jeya) made her debute.  Guitars were bought up by Mal's boy, my nephew Ben and of course Mike.  The 'jammin' took place under the tree in the room I now sit and type.  These are precious memories and I travel that road endlessly with a smile.

This is Mike holding Jeya Christmas 06.   Harmony and Emily make the trio of Mikes girls........

Still hot here, Muttley not so enthused about the walk today.

Take care .......  Thoughts of you all from down under  

[mikesmum]

 

Happy Birthday Michelle, my 'Belle.

Sue - Thoughts with you each day, especially today, the day the world came to know your baby girl......

[mpsmom]

 Happy Heavenly Birthday Today Michelle   !!!!!!!!!!  Sue, may feel your sweet daughter right beside with you all day.  

Dee, I love that you have changed Erica’s avatar to this ‘free spirit” picture of your angel. She is so beautiful with her dreads and John Lennon ‘shades’    

 

Claudia , I am so glad you have these pictures to have and to hold again, what a special present from your hubby to find them for you .  The giggling and laughter jumps off the screen from the kids.  When will you start your Christmas Basket project ?

Trudi, I love the pictures of the places you walk, and the stream with Mutley sitting on your lap , what a wonderful place to be able to enjoy all alone with out crowds of people. This picture of Mike holding Jeya is one of my favorites. 

Leah, I am glad you have found us and are able to share your sweet granddaughter with us. It helps so much to be able to talk about our ‘kids’ and relive the memories here. 

Colleen, so glad to hear that your house will be back together for the holidays.. you will be able to sit back and enjoy it.    

Carol, how are you doing?   I think about you often and wish we all lived closer together. Our afternoon of shopping in MN  is still a treat to me  

Lorri, How did Carly like her new pink hoodie???   How are things with Kimberley and her ex?  

Terrie, I hope that the hearing for your husband goes favorably, so he can begin to find some bit of peace.   Keeping you both in my daily prayers.  

Dan and Greg where have you both been?   Hope you have not fallen in to that ‘dark pit’ . 

Dale, think of you and your family often.  Write when you are up to it.  

To all the others in my other BI family  I think of you and your children often, keeping you  all close in my heart. Love to you all, Marcia     Bethanys Mom Forever 

[4everjoeysmom]

Hi Marcia, Making up the Christmas basket details this week. It will work pretty much like it did last year...$50 to sponsor a basket--which will contain a Christmas feast for a poor family that would otherwise not have much of a meal aside from rice, and a couple weeks worth of dry goods and essentials. I'm actually smiling just thinking about those sweet families again... This year we'll be covering an unreached area. They don't even have water nearer than a river 2 km away.....so I am REALLY looking forward to helping these families...

Wish you were here!!

[lolynbo]

MARCIA , THANK YOU KIMBERLY AND CODY ARE GETTING ALONG REALLY WELL THEY HAVE BOTH GROWN UP...ALOT SINCE WE LOST KOURTNEY

CARLEY MAY COME BY TONIGHT FOR IT..IDK YET...

JUST A LAZY DAY HERE IN ARDMORE OKLAHOMA...

BE BLESSED ALL

[ericasmom]

Hi Guys and Gals,

just took my last bike ride till springtime. John will hang my bike in the basement. It felt great to ride in November, 70 degrees. How lucky we have been for the last week and a half. Even still have the sound of crickets which I LOVE>

Thanks Marcia, I too think ERi beautiful in that photo, well all but you know what I mean. HOw is your leg? What did the doc say?

Lorri, Ilike the avitar of Kourt, pretty color on her.

Jon and Shannon are coming for dinner, chicken ceaser salad and garlic toast. Makes my heart happy.

Love to all,

dee

[nicksdad]

Joeys mom....Love the pic of Joey he looks so distinguished

Ericas mom...The new avatar is great looking. Not sure why but it just

looks so "real"

Suzanne...The bookmarks are great looking. I really like them

Marcia...The pic of Bethany is beautiful, such gorgeous<sp> hair

Been way too busy with work. Did about 25 hours this weekend at a business

setting up a network for them. Told the wife this is it, i'm done doing this

type of work...way to draining. By this afternoon was actually tweaked that I

was not able to go see Nick for a few days because of all the work. But, stopped

this afternoon and went....

[mikesmomrs]

 

[align=center]MICHELLE...MICHELLE...MICHELLE[/align]

[align=left]Celebrate your birthday today with all of our angels, knowing that there are so many people that love you and miss you so much...please surround your mom with sweet, sweet memories to help through this day when she wants so much to hold you.[/align]

[align=left] [/align]

[align=left]love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs[/align]

[summergirl]

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE, DANCE AMONG THE STARS AND SHINE BRIGHT IN THE HEAVENS  !!!!!

 

[lolynbo]

MICHELLE MICHELLE MICHELLE...SAYN HER NAME

[veronicasmom]

Happy Birthday, Michelle!  What a wonderful mother you have--hope you are always by her side.  D.

[summergirl]

Dee - yes I am sorry, I did get responses on the flus shot.....just goes to show you where my mind is lately.   I love, love the avatar of Eri, the dreads are fantastic and she wears them well - such a beauty like her mom.

So much to catch up on.  Love the photo's, every time I see pics my heart gets happy to see such beautiful memories, such happy times.

Ahh - the Holidays - I get through them because of Tavian otherwise I really do not know what I would do. Sitting and writting a letter to Santa, all the decorations, the tree, shopping is all for Tavian. Christmas was Jessica's favorite day, besides her birthday, so it is diffacult but the joy and shinning eyes of Tavian get us through.  As far as Thanksgiving goes, Tavian will be with the other grandmother this year so we will be at Barry's mom's house and of course Jessica will NOT be mentioned and all will act as though all if well, warm and cozy. AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

I got through taking Tavian to the playdate. We drove there with his overnight bag and all my mind kept thinking was how I used to do this drive when I would take him home after having him for a weekend. All of the apartments are basically the same layout so I knew when I walked in it would be like walking into Jessica's apartment. I took a deep breath and opened the door and just stood there looking around..... Tavian took off with his friends right away happy as could be. I hugged Trish and said I had to go and then we both got teary and she said she understood. I cried all the way home.  Why do things have to be so painful yet I have to do it for Tavian. He had a great time. I made Barry go pick him up today.

We went to a dinner at the firehouse last night and around 10 I was ready to go home and some of my friends kept telling me to stay, that I needed to get past "having to go home to my safe-zone" - I just looked at them, said goodnight and left. It never ends, the mean things people say.  I DO NOT NEED TO GET PAST ANYTHING!!

Lorri - lucky you girl - all those drivers - whoo hoo. Sure glad you didn't grab that tampon !!!!  Can't wait to see the pics.

I cannot replay to all tonight as I want to as it is almost Tavian's bedtime and I am tired from many hours outside in the yard today - it was almost 70 and beautiful.

Too all of my family here - I am missing you all and promise to catch up with everyone as soon as I can.    peaceful dreams my friends, kathy

[summergirl]

[dannysmomma]

Hello my BI friends:)I haven't posted in awhile been working through some things on my own,don't think there's anything anyone can say or do to make it"better",it's something I have to do myself,if that makes sense.I think what I have trouble with is there was no "closure",I imagine it's like that for many:(.I get flashes of the last times I saw him,makes me sad because he was dying and I didn't see it Memories..a blessing and sometimes a curse.On to family life...Dakota and Olivia had birthdays..Kota's 9th and Liv's 2nd.Kota's a bit more draining because it was also Danny's 7 month angelversary,we made it thru even tho the ice-cream cake melted:D Halloween was ok,the kids had fun,missed painting my boys face tho,always a vampire,still have his cape and fangs.Jonny had his wisdom teeth out all were impacted and he's now on the mend.Ross's med's seem to be working..sugars are good and his BP is normal..at 17 he's way too young for either.Jonny's processing for the police academy..I'm excited for him ,just pray he stays safe..We've all had the piggy flu,Cheyenne still got the shot tho because she's asthmatic and there's no test to confirm that she already had it so as a precaution they stuck her.Have to go pick my man up at the airport but know I think of you and all of our angels daily{{{hugs }}}Lyn...our last Halloween pic of Danny 2008

[lolynbo]

JUST WANTED TO SHARE A PIC..OF ACDC CONCERT...HAD A GREAT TIME...KODY LITERALLY GOT CHILLS HE WAS SO EXCEITED

[lolynbo]

PICS OF NASCAR...MMMM WHICH ONE TO CHOSE???? KASEY????? HES SO CUTE...AND LOVE HIS PRODUCT    BUDWEISER

[ericasmom]

Lyn, so good to see you again, good to know that you are outthere working through what is necessary to you right now. The kids are growing and developing as they do, changing all the time. Good luck to Jonny with the police classes, and yes, we shall keep him in our prayers for safety. Seven months is a long time Lyn, a long time to be without your Boy, but he is very proud of all you have done in that time. You are a strong Lady, even if you would rather not be. YOu just are.

Kathy and Dan, thanks for the avitar compliment. I know what you mean Dan, so real looking. This really captured Eri as close as I have ever seen a photo do. The one on the train with the bandana on her head also caputrues the spirit of ERi, but because I can't zoom it much, it is hard to see her closely like this one.  I think that the black and white also add to the prettiness, the urban aspect of Erz. She really had a free spirit sensibility and it comes through loud and clear. HEr dreads were perfect on her, suiting her lifestyle completely. My little dready-mama. As it reads on her funeral card,

"Don't worry about a thing. 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."

Dan, do hpe that theweek eases up and finds you feeling that you have a better balance of family time and work. I know we cannot damn work these days of hard-to-find-jobs, but a person still needs some down time. And time to go see Nick is important.

Kath, sounds like you had a taste of the weather we have been enjoying for several days now. Lovely. You should have another tomorrow, and for us, a bit cooler tomorrow, but I really cannot complain after these gifts from the heavens.

Blue sky,

sky blue,

running through the day,

looking for you.

[ericasmom]

Great photos Lorri, super that you were able to meet up with the drivers you like best.

Marcia, the leg?

[summergirl]

Lorri - so your are a budweiser gal huh?? I am a coors lite - can't drink anything but that as I get "crazy" on anything harder than beer....although I do like a Bailey's Pinacolda now and then. More than three beers and I am feeling fuzzy........but remember back in the day when I could party all night and go to work the next day!! I can see the excitement in Kody's eyes - what a cutie!!

Dannysmomma - I know the feeling, sometimes I feel like I should work things out by myself too, like "am I too dependent on this site" and the answer is NO, I can go a couple of days but then I need to be here, it is my life line to reality. I know everyone here although I do not mention every single person when I post just as there are those who do not mention me.....there is no need, as was said, to respond to every post.  I understand your staying away though as we all need to work through things in our own way.   Your Danny sure is a handsome man I love the pic.

Bonnie - so happy to hear that you have finished your foster care/adoption qualification....what will be will be and I know that good things are coming your way. Sure know what you mean about getting out of your "cozy pants" and "cozy zone" - there are days when I just hate getting dressed for work.  Today as I was working in the front yard a friend stopped by and said "what are you doing wearing your pajama's working outside???" and I said "hey, these are my comfy clothes" - hee hee

Betty - yes, going back to the place where Jessica lived for 3 years was diffacult and I was worried about Tavian as like I said all of the apartments are the same layout. I thought he did fine until tonight when I put him to bed and just before he closed his eyes he began to cry and said "mi-mi, I want my mommy" - I told him "I know you do but she is here in your heart" and he replied "but I want to see her in person" - maybe I am wrong but I think being in the apartment may have made him remember things he had forgotten and it did not hit him until bed time. Poor little guy, breaks my heart and I have to be soooooooo strong for him. We will get through this together I know but sometimes I just want to "let go and fall apart with him".......

Dee - glad you got your last bike ride in of the season - before you know it the spring will be here again and Trudi will be telling us it is getting colder there and we will be getting warmer - time goes by so quickly..........so much more so than when we were young.

Dan - hope you get some down time soon - work can take it's toll on a person.

Peace to all - Kathy

 

[lolynbo]

THANK YOU KATHY IM SO VERY PROUD OF HIM...HE IS A GREAT KID...WE ARE BLESSED WITH HIM..MONTY SAID HE REMINDS HIM OF KOURTNEY SO MUCH AND NOW I STARE AT HIM TRYING TO FIND IT AND REMEMBER..BUT I DONT SEE IT...

WHAT A GOOD PIC OF DANNY TRICKY TREATN...A VAMPIRE ALWAYS..FUNNY WHEN THEY STICK WITH WHAT THEY NO...

IVE BEEN SURFING THE WEB TRYING TO THINK OF COMBO CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR KIMBERLY AND CODY..AND SOMETHING FOR KODY AND THEN LOOKN AT TRIPS TO DISAPEAR FOR A WEEK OR SO...BUT NO LUCK...CANT GO WITHOUT KODY, WOULDNT BE FAIR TO KIMMY AND SHE CANT TAKE OFF...SO I DONT NO WHAT TO DO ANY IDEAS??? ANYONE HAVE A HOLE I CAN CRAWL IN??????????????...IM PANICING ALREADY....

[zachysmom]

lock the door, turn off the lights, and hide. Make sure you have plenty of food first

[nicksdad]

[ericasmom]

Goodnight Everyone, sleep well. If you are not tired take a look at this utube, it has been around before, but I thought to send it tonight as it really fills me with hope. It won some awards adn rightfully so. Now remember to listen to the whole thing and watch, very clever.

Lorri, I will give some thought to the ideas for Christmas, but don't panic so fast, we have time.

[mikesmum]

Dee - Its all in the words, the perception and the interpretation......Thanks sis, needed that......

[hotsauce]

Good Morning to everyone her at BI<

 

HAPPY HEAVEN BIRTHDAY TO MICHELLE, i how you show many beautiful signs to your family today.  i hope you are having a big party with all our angels.:dude:

 

CLAUDIA, beautiful family.

 

i hope everyone here has a great week.

 

hope to post later.

 

mary ann

Brian's momdukes

[shellbellsmom]

Today it’s my birthday in heaven,

what a joy to partake.

My presents are flowers and rainbows

and angel food cake.

My gown is decorated with roses

and glitter.

And the stars that shine upon me

make everything shimmer.

The other angels are dancing and

singing me songs.

Soon Jesus will be joining me,

It won't be long.

We'll all gather and pray

for my loved ones on earth,

Who love me so much,

from the day of my birth.

You see, Birthdays in Heaven

are full of happiness and cheer.

We celebrate with our loved ones,

who proceeded us here.

Yes, Birthdays in Heaven

are wonderful and gay.

One day we will celebrate together,

for that moment, Mom I pray,

*Thank you for all the wonderful birthday wishes you have sent for my Angel Michelle.  I will get back on later when I can read all the posts.   I miss my Michelle so much, my heart is totally broken today.....wish she was here to celebrate with us...

[lostwoher]

Whew so many many many posts and I cannot respond to them all. Just know that I do think of you all so very very often. Im not much of a talker but at times I just dont shut up lol. Its been extremely hectic at work. Still having attitude problems but Im working thru it the best I can.

 Happy belated birthday Michelle Belle!

 I all the pics that have been shared. Families having happy moments is the best.

I know the feeling of family and friends not saying our childs name. It hurts to the core. Not one member of my family has asked if the headstone has been placed or even acknowledged one is about to be placed. NOTHING! My sister has stopped talking to me because I didnt want to spend my birthday ( 4 weeks ago) having dinner with my dad. I didnt go anywhere or do anything from my own choosing. Maybe I should have called and explained but I felt as if I didnt owe anybody an explanation. Maybe it was wrong but its what I chose. My family is my family but we arent really a family. I no longer get invites to do anything with them so I go about life day to day. Enough babble of that mess, Im over it.

One more week of having the vehicle then Randy will be back on second shift. I will be walking home most nights. Im looking forward to it. A bit of ME time.

Marcia, I hope the leg/ankle are healing nicely and the pain has subsided. Im sure the motorbike is ready for another run:)

To EVERYONE- have a great day! Chat more later.

 Lynn aka KaYlA and TrAvIs'S mom

[mysonrich]

Happy Birthday Michelle