Younger sister died a month ago.

[malachai]

Still not doing so hot. Seem to spend my days trying not to drink, basically watching the clock. She would've been 32 last Friday. Things don;t seem to be getting better. Just wanted to talk.

[ModKonnie]

Malachai,

I am very sorry to hear about the loss your sister. Watching the clock is so normal because many people say it feels as though everything is moving in slow motion. I am glad you are trying not to drink, too. That doesn't help at all in the long run, and alcohol is a depressant, so it will make just make you feel worse.

Have you tried reading any grief and loss books? Have you tried writing journal entries on how you feel, what kind of sister you had, perhaps even a letter to her? What about creating a facebook memorial or Pinterest memorial to occupy your time?

I know you probably don't even have the energy to do anything, but if you try to eat right, get some sleep and take care of yourself, it will help. In the meantime, do you feel like posting some picture of her to our gallery and telling us her story?

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

[beckymollenkamp]

Malachai,

First, I love your name (it's the name of my good friend's son). Second, I understand totally. My little brother died July 4, 2010 just shy of his 31st birthday. I spent the first 2+ years mostly drinking and partying and avoiding dealing with the painful grief. In the last few months, I've decided it's time for me to grieve, even if it hurts so much. I'm still taking my time and not doing great, but I've found that running is helping me keep my sanity while also giving me time to think. I've also found that reading a ton (even books not related to grief) is really helping me. I'm blogging about my experiences if you're interested ... maybe just the shared pain is enough to give you some inspiration. Maybe not. If you want to check it out, it's at http://www.beckymollenkamp.com. I've had other people message me that it helps with their grief just to read about my journey. I'm hoping that at least some good like that can come from our family's loss. If there's any support I can give you, please let me know.

Becky