this wednesday is my moms 61st birhtday. it the 1st one with out her. she passed away in february.

[stacyc]

This wednesday is my moms birthday, she would have been 61. I'm feeling so down, missing her sooo.... much that I feel like know one can really understand how much she meant to me. She past away in february in my home ( I was her caretaker). I just want to hold her and tell that I love her. I appreciated her so much and always thought i was so lucky & honored to be her daughter. Does anyone else have any big events coming up soon that your already feeling like its going to be rough.  Has anyone just gotten through an event with any tips on how they got through their day? HEY, or just want vent about it like me. I wrote this in green because its my mom's( Eileen) favorite color. she was a wonderful lady who was born and raised in Liverpool, England she was a proud BRIT!!!! I could go on and on about her.

[minnababy]

stacyc; i lost my mum in july. it was her birthday a few weeks ago, march 26th. she would have been 56. i found it incredibly difficult, both the day itself and in the days leading up to her birthday, and ever since i've been feeling more and more depressed. mostly i found it very hard to understand how she could be gone but still have a birthday, have aged another year, but how now she'll never get a single day older than when i lost her. :[ i don't really have much advice. i'm struggling to deal with this myself. all i'd recommend for your mum's birthday is that you don't spend it on your own. don't just sit around the house thinking. i spent quite a lot of my mummy's birthday on my own, i didn't know what to do, and i think that probably made it even more difficult. i miss my mum so much, more than i ever thought was possible to miss anyone, it hurts so much sometimes it's hard to even breathe. another event i got through was mother's day (which was in march in england), and that was a killer, so hard to know that while everyone else spent a day with their mum i was all alone. it hurt like hell. i think it's awesome by the way how you can talk about your mum so much, i can't, even when i want to, it hurts too much. :[

[pcb1902]

I lost my dad last January, he'd only just turned 73 a month before, three weeks later was my birthday and it was hard, I never expected the jolt I'd feel when I got a card that only had mum's name in.  It was dad's birthday 21st December, 6 days before that was mum and dads'wedding anniversary (would have been 42 years) and then Christmas four days later, and just when you think you'll get through it the first anniverary looms.  I'm coming to realise that I've spent an entire year denying my feelings and "being there" for everyone else in the family, especially mum.  Know what I did on his birthday? I celebrated him, I laughed about the good times, we remembered together what dad was like when his birthday came around, yeah and Christmas too, he was a big kid. 

My dad was such a character, he wasn't one of those larger than life people, but he was funny and I have such great memories of him, especially on days like his birthday - the first thing he'd say would be where's my cake and then the inevitable where's my present, rubbing hsi hands together smiling with glee at the anticipation.  I guess that's how I got through the day.  My dad was proud to be British too - and very proud to be a Londoner.

My thoughts are with you for your mum's birthday.

[libra1]

 Stayc this feels so close to home for me. I too am from England; born and raised in Liverpool. I have lived in Canada since I got married , 20 years ago.  I lost my mom exactly 2 years ago....April 15th 2006.  she was only 66. She died very suddenly of a massive heart attack. i had no idea this was coming. One thing that I have not been able to shake, is the guilt. She told me a couple of months before she passed that she was feelin very tired, and sometimes dizzy. She mentioned this about three time. Her own GP thought she was depressed. I realised only after she passed that she had some subtle signs of heart disease. All I can say is that there has been a hole in my life since she passed. Although we were far apart, she was my rock. It's tough, even after two years. Everyone else thinks you have moved on, and don't even mention it. Inside you're still crying out for your mom. I feel your pain so much, that it has hit a cord all over again. I am also proud to be a Liverpudlian. I hope your mom was a Liverpool supporter, just like me. Either way I'm sure she was very special. You have a tough road ahead...but lots of others ready to support you. Keep in touch.

Libra 1

[stacyc]

hi Libra1, I know its beyond words how hard it is. actually my mom was raised in LiverPool, but moved to New York in her 20's started a family and has Lived her life here in the US. All my family still lives in England Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and so on... I get what you mean about a certain amount of time passing and everyone assumes your ok and moving on. that is so not the case. Its only been about a month and a half and already people think that I'm ok and don't ask as much. Its very frustrating becuase they don't see the tears I shed almost everynight when the Lights go out. I try so hard not to get emotional in front of my 2 yr. old son. Thats hard too... because he will never really remember her. I want more children and she we will never see them, she was there for me so much when I gave birth to my son It was so incredible and I will treasure that time for the rest of my life ( thank god for home videos). My mom was my rock too... my biggest supporter and I loved her so much she was my best friend and soul mate. How can life ever be good  again I think we have to try to remember that we were lucky for the time we DID have and be grateful that we were blessed with the best, or as my mom would say the best "BLOODY" mom a daughter could ever hope and pray for. I hope our moms are at peace and hangin out in a pub somewhere! Your in my thoughts sweetheart. stacyc

[sheela]

She past away in february in my home ( I was her caretaker). I just want to hold her and tell that I love her. I appreciated her so much and always thought i was so lucky & honored to be her daughter.

 

this that you said above sounds just like me and my mom too she passed away in my home last year and i just want to reach out and hug her so much ... (  i cry every now and then and realize that things will just never be the same ever .. thats what hurts so much .. how do i live the rest of my life with out her here by my side ? i know every one says they are with you in spirit but that doesnt help much.. its just not the same ya know ?

[sheela]

stacyc your son can remember her thru you and the things you tell him, keep her pictures around and tell him about her he will remember her and that way she live's on -- hugs