Members pcb1902 Posted April 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 6, 2008 Hello,I lost my dad in January 2007, he'd been ill for a long time, he'd had colon cancer which was successfully treated but then the cancer came back to his liver. He passed though suddenly from a heart attack. I have two older sisters and two older brothers but I'm the one that's been left to look after mum, I suppose because I'm the one with no children, no responsiblities and no ties. I'm happy being there for mum and would be around for her even if the others chipped in.I haven't been able to grieve for dad, I did for the first three weeks but then it stopped, things got back to normal pretty quickly and I just had to get on with things, I'm there for mum, to listen to her and be with her and so I think I've just pushed my own grief to one side so I can help her and not burden her.I don't miss my dad and I don't understand why, I loved him very much and still do, I spent a lot of time with him and we were very close - which I suppose makes it harder for me to understand why I feel this way (or don't as the case may be).My sister is very open with her grief and I constantly hear my mum say how bad my brothers feel about losing dad and how hard they're taking it. I feel very selfish even as I write this but everybody seems to have forgotten that I lost dad too and it's hard being "the strong one", being the one that can cope or seeming to be cold and unfeeling because I can talk about my dad without getting upset, because I remember who he was, how he was and laugh about the good times - is that so bad?I feel as if I can't talk about losing dad to anyone, I haven't even attempted it with my family because I know that the conversation would ultimately be about how they feel and because I listen to them I'll let that happen. I can't talk to friends, I know they'll listen but I feel that they'll just think I should be over this by now. I've never been one to talk about my problems to anyone so wouldn't know where to start - it's somehow easier on here.I apologise for going on, but it feels good to get some of this out. Can anyone relate to this, I need to know that I'm not alone in the way I feel, that I'm not sub-human in some way because of it. I'd appreciate any response. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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