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Lost My Grandmother


WynterLady

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:(Hello. My name is Teri & I recently lost my grandmother after a short illness. She woke up January 14th with a tight chest. They saw their doctor the same day. He prescribed an antibiotic & sent her home. She took it for almost a week but got worse every time she took the pill. My grandfather & mother drove her into the hospital on January 22nd. The ER doctor said it was the antibiotics & tossed them. Declared her chest was clear & sent her home. She got worse. She was rushed to the hospital by ambulance on the 25th of January. By the 31st both her kidneys had completely shut down & she was put into a medically induced coma. I went to see her on the 3rd of February. She didn't know I was there, but I wanted to see her & tell her I loved her. She was transferred to a bigger hospital that same day as they were the only ones who could give her dialysis. She got double pneumonia in her lungs & was on a machine to help her breathe. It just went downhill from there. On February 12th the doctors took the breathing tube out of my grandmother, by 5:45PM, she was gone.

My grandmother hadn't been sick since 1980. We all expected my grandfather to go first as he's not as strong health wise & is currently walking with two canes & has numerous ailments including diabetes. I didn't just lose my grandmother though.........I've also lost my mother. We've been together since I was born, it's been just the two of us for most of my life. One day I woke up & she was sharing this house with me, we were having coffee together, arguing over who's turn it was to cook. lol. Now, she's living with my grandfather & I'm living alone for the first time. I'm socially awkward, in fact I have social phobia, so I have very little friends. I live in the middle of nowhere & don't have any type of transportation (yet. that will be rectified in the spring, I hope). I still haven't cried for my grandmother, but find I'm eating more, am always numb & just don't feel joy in anything I do. I don't even play online games anymore because I just don't enjoy it. I don't know how to get out of this on my own so I thought I'd try joining a forum where maybe others would know what I'm feeling or at least understand me a bit better. I really wish I could share this with my mom but I feel like she needs me to be strong for her, after all it was her mother that died & she was closer to her than I was. It's hard to go from sharing everything with someone to sharing nothing that's important because you know they are going through enough & you don't want to be a burden.

Well, thanks for 'listening' (reading) & maybe if I didn't come off too messed up.... Someone might want to be friends??

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Hi Teri,

A friend suggested buying a pretty journal and writing a memory in it evertime one comes to my mind. That would be something special for you to do. Blessings, dsmurph

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I just lost my grandmother too last June 19. I still can't forget about her. We miss her so much. It's so hard to move on.

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