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Loss of my mummy


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20 days before my 17th birthday the most horrific thing happened to my family. The family mentioned in this are: my mom Sue, my dad Eppo, my two sisters Alicia who lives in the Netherlands, and Freya who lives here in Canada. Two younger brothers. My dads mother, brother and sister-in-law, and my moms sister, and brother.

It was June 10th, 2011, my last day of grade 11 before exams. Each year the school holds a huge paint fight, where afterwards at night they host a school dance. For some reason this day I decided I didn't want to go to a stupid school dance, I want to spend my evening at home with my mom and 10 year old brother if I remember correctly I wasn't feeling very well. We had a really lovely night together.

The next day I rolled out of bed around 9 and got up went into the kitchen, my mom asked me if I wanted to come grocery shopping with her and I thought that it was a nice day to go for a drive and spend some quality time together. My mom looked absolutely stunning that morning, she glowed, she was so happy. We didn't get more than 2 KM down the road before our car broke down. As this happened a car pulled up besides us and offered to give us a ride back to our house, I had called my dad to walk to the car to figure out what was wrong with it, as we were crossing the road my mom started complaining of chest pains, at first I didn't think anything of it, but then I asked if she was OK, and she said no, she really wasn't. This was the last thing my mom said to me. As we got into the lady's car my moms head hit the window and she started shaking, making loud horrifying noises, she was in extreme pain, she was not there anymore, as we turned around heading to the hospital I was forced to call the ambulance, this moment, I never saw coming, in my whole life. Half way to the town we met up with the ambulance, and as they were taking her out of the passenger seat of the car, she started throwing up and got put onto the stretcher, the paramedics wouldn't let me in the ambulance. I have such horrible mental images that I find difficult to get rid of, because I was there to see all of this happening.

The lady who drove us so far, brought me to the hospital where she waited with me until my dad and baby brother arrived, after almost 2 hours maybe more, it took a while for them to get back home from picking up the car, they didn't realize straight away to check the voice mail. As I was at the hospital I called my sister who lives here, she was at work, and didn't understand what I was calling her for or how serious it all was at this point I had no idea what was happening. I told her she better find a way to the city. As we were in the little town hospital the doctors told us that we needed to go to the city, so my dad, 10 year old brother, and I followed the hospital to the city, where my mom was taken to the ICU. Whilst in the city my sister, brother, and our neighbours arrived. We were there for more that 9 hours. Eventually they decided to send her to an even larger city because this city apparently didn't have any great heart surgeons.... My dad took us home and went to the city on his own until he thought it was really necessary to come and join him.

Sure enough next day June 12th my dad calls around 10 to say that my mom wasn't going to make it. That they did surgery and there was nothing more they could do.We arrived there in the afternoon, our neighbours brought us to be with our dad, and say our last goodbyes to my mom. My siblings and myself still had hope, all we kept saying was that she's so strong, and that she can make it through anything. To tell you the truth, she is the strongest person I have ever met. My dad still had hope, that evening we got to see her. Even will all of the machines, life support, and all, she was gorgeous, the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I held her hand and prayed to see that her organs would start responding. I was at the point of asking to donate my kidney just to speak to her one last chance.that's all I wanted. But they said she was too fragile to put under the knife again. Not even I could do anything to help, do you know how horrible that feels, to be useless to save your mother. It started getting late and we got a hotel, and my dad stayed over night at the hospital.

The next morning, the doctors told us that she would probably pass before noon. They were wrong. My mom waited all day until 8.30PM for my sister from the netherlands and my dads brother to arrive. As soon as they entered the room, my moms machines flat lined. She knew we were together and safe, and were going to make it with her strength in us all.

What happened:

My moms high blood pressure caused her Aorta to tear to the point of no repair. No one saw this coming, my mom was active, healthy, happy... she was so happy.

Still today I struggle with all these mental images, just the way everything happened, she was in pain when she left, I couldn't do anything to help. I called 911 for my mother, no child should ever have to experience such a thing. I lost my mummy, before I got the chance to find true love, and before I got the change to graduate highschool, college, before I got the chance to get married, have kids, my mom will never be there for any of my moments in life where I need her the most, she left me before I got to show her the grown up woman I am. All I want is to make her proud. I miss her so much, every single day, she was just incredible, loved by every single person I know. I really wish I could know that she's there watching us, her 5 children, her husband. I have so much pain from her loss even after (June 13th-January24th) almost two years...

I'll never forget her..

she taught me how to love life..

I will never forget.

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I was really moved by your story, first let me say how sorry I am that her life was cut so short and that you lost such a wonderful mom. I don't know what else to do, I am crying for your loss, it brings back the pain of losing my dad 8 months ago. I agree with you that no one should go through what you did. I don't think those memories will ever leave you and I am truly sorry for that. There is something special about being there but at the same time it is so traumatic for those of us left behind that we carry those memories for so long. Once again I am so sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing your story with us.

Your friend,


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