Didn't get a chance to say goodbye to my Dad

[stevie236]

My Dad passed away suddenly on 30th December 2012. My dad had been his completely nornal happy and fun self on Chrustnas and boxing day. The day he died started as a completely normal day until I got a call from my brother saying my Dad had had a heart attack. I rushed to his house then the hospital where we waited in the relatives room for what seemed an eternity until the doctor came in and just bowed his head. I felt my heart completely sink in my chest. I have never felt pain like it.

From that day until now three weeks on, I still can't believe my Dad who was larger than life and so loving has gone from being there all the time I could see him touch him or call him when I want to him being gone without any warning and im never going to see him again! How could that happen?

I found out since that he had been feeling a bit poorly for about a day before but as I don't live with him I had no idea. Even my step-mum and family who did know never suspected for a second it was so serious. He thought he had a bit of a bug and then a bit of intergestion that morning as he always suffered with that.

He went from everything to nothing with no warning. I had no chance to say goodbye or tell him I love him one last time and it's killing me inside.

I am only 23 and my brothers are 19 and 8. I can't cope with the idea my dad will miss so much of our lives. I never thought for a second he wouldn't meet any children I might have or not be there on my wedding day and I just can't bear it.

Sorry to rant I just need people who know what I'm going through to talk to x

I

[ModKonnie]

Stevie,

I am so very sorry about the loss of your dad. There are many people who have lost their parents suddenly and without warning. They will be able to offer support, encouragement and tips for getting through all of this.

Are you and your brothers talking together about your loss? It is important you continue to talk about your experiences and how you all feel. Talking is the best way to deal with the emotional turmoil and trauma of a profound loss.

We will be with you,

ModKonnie

[stevie236]

Modkonnie

Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately as my youngest brother is so young he isn't really one I can talk to. My other brother is dealing with it very differently he doesn't like to talk about it and would rather keep busy to put it out of his mind.

[karebear]

I am really sorry to hear about your dad, what a shock and devestating thing to happen. I lost my dad in May and he had a heart attack followed by a month and a half in the hospital before he died. We did get the chance to say goodbye but he suffered so hard and so long that in the end we were praying he would die just to end the suffering. That may seem heartless to you but watching someone sufforcate slowly is so very hard to do. I know it will not make what you are going through any easier but sometimes it is a blessing for your loved one to be able to go quickly without a lot of pain and suffering. Not so easy on those left behind though. My heart goes out to you and your family. I know that you are probably still in shock, as it takes quite a while to process that they person you love is no longer going to be there for you. I was angry at first and guilty because I didn't say more than I did, normally I am a talkative person with no trouble saying whats on my mind but being in the room those last 14 hours watching that level of sufforing took my words away and several times my dad asked if I were there, I held his hand but he couldn't feel it anymore. I don't know what to say to you to help but if you ever need to talk this is a great site to reach out to others who like you have suffered a terrible loss. We are all hurting but are here for each other.

Your friend,

Karebear.

[RobbG]

I am so sorry for your loss and your grief. I lost my Dad on Nov. 4th. He passed away in his sleep at our home. There were no signs that something like this would happen. His last words to me were "See you tomorrow". There was no tomorrow. I found him in bed the next day. There are so many things that I wish I would have told him. My wife and I were holding off telling him we were trying for a baby until Thanksgiving and that our child would bear his name. I regret not telling him I loved him that night or more times in his life. I know he knew it, we had a wonderful friendship and I miss him so much. It is the hardest thing I have ever gone through.

I know your pain, I share it with you. A lot of people here do. All I can say is that I wish you the best in your recovery. Take your time, don't bottle up your feelings. Remember to be strong for your brothers but allow yourself to grieve.