Suicide

[Yadairaisabel]

This is just me venting and letting some of this out.

Last night I sat in bed with a bottle of pills. As I held them in my hand I thought of everything I have gone thru in my short years of life. Some of those things I can't even mention. I ask myself what is the point of being here? What purpose do I play? Why do I continue to get thrown in this dark, cold and lonely hole. I was finally truly happy. I had a complete family! And within seconds that was gone.

Then I looked to my right and there was my three year old son. The light of my eyes! My first baby who now has no daddy and all he could count on is mommy. Then to my left my two month old daughter. Her fathers spitting image. Only a baby who will never spend time with her dad. Defenseless and completely dependent on me. And there I realized how extremely selfish I acted. Just because my life is hard doesn't mean that taking my life will help.

I write this today as a way to say I'm sorry to my kids. It's not their fault I'm going thru a hard time and I shouldn't punish them by leaving them alone in this cruel world...

[Mdanielson4]

I can’t say I haven’t been there right with you in your thoughts. It amazes me that others here have the same feelings I do, but why not we are going through similar grief and hard times. Friends here pulled me back to reality and I love them for it.

I can’t say I haven’t been in the same place a few times and with Christmas creeping up I’m there again. I have problems making plans for the future. My plans don’t exactly work out with the same time frames as others. I will have to work on that. The lonely ness is getting the best of me. And I don’t know what to do about it.

Mike

[Yadairaisabel]

Thank you for the support mike. It's very hard but we have a lot to fight for. We will just have to hang on. God bless you!