Driver failed to yield, killed my girlfriend.

[huxley]

Hi.

Just over a week ago my girlfriend was riding her motorcycle to come see me.

A left turner failed to yield, pulled in front of her and she was killed by the impact.

When she didn't arrive I called every hospital in the city, over and over. Finally a person on Facebook mentioned having seen a bike accident at a nearby intersection. I drove as quickly as I could but they had swept it away.

I wandered until 2AM looking for any motorcycle piece that said anything but "Yamaha" but everything was very cleaned up.

I called the police and eventually got a call back from the coroner, she had passed away. I remember it felt like something heavy had fallen on me - I remember screaming uncontrollably in my car.

I have lots of support, I'm working again, everything is in place except that I can't cry. I need the outlet, but the fake "I'm OK," mask I wear each day wont come off in private. I alternate between complete numbness and absolute torment, but I can't seem to let it out. I'm not sure if I can't face it, the circumstances of the accident and afterwards have been traumatic.

I packed her apartment alone, everything smells like her and I'm crushed over and over each night when I wake a dozen times alone and realize I'll never hold her again.

I'm 25, she was a few years younger, a great rider and a brilliant student, unbelievably intelligent.

I got to view her Saturday, she was still so beautiful.

I need to cry, be able to really feel everything, or I'm going to lose what little sanity I have remaining.

I sit for hours at the intersection, tending her memorial and chain smoking, and I occasionally cry for short bursts, but I have not been able to grieve. I can't move forward because I'm in so much pain I can't even process it, I just feel robotic and hollow.

[kendi]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and all that has been touched by your sudden loss. I am so sorry you have to feel the pain you are going through. You have come to a wonderful website with many that are feeling the pain you are going through and the sharing of feelings we are all going through wil help! Take care

[Caremal]

you are not alone in your grief we all share it in some way.mine is different then yours yet grief is grief. We all process it in our own way and on our own time. Who ever said we had so many days to do it in - and then to move on well that don't work. Time only helps to make it easier as we let the pain escape our minds. Just know that your loss is a devistating event in your life - as it was for all of us when we lost our special friends. Gome back here as often as you need to we are here for each other all the time. Sending you a BIG HUG.