Feel abandoned and angry

[Kiki2466]

I lost my Mom in June after a short battle with lung cancer. I took care of her in my home with Hospice support.

Her death was very horrific and traumatic.

Even as I was caring for her I didn't feel much support from some of my frineds, even my childhood friend who I have been friends with since we were 8 years old (I am 46 now).

When it all happened with my Mom I was still working, I have 3 kids and I was doing what I could for my Mom. My husband was supportive.

I have anger at my "friends" for not really being there before OR after.

Some said they were coming to visit my mom and didn't show up.

Nobody cooked a meal of offerd to let me get a nap..nothing.

I'm the type person who had been there for them for YEARS over far less than the death of a parent and when i needed them they weren't there.

Two days ago was the 6 month anniversary of my Mom's death and I posted on facebook that it was still hard and I was having a really rough time with the holidays and not ONE of my friends even replied. Not even my husband. Acquaintances posted nice things....but not my friends who weere posting other inane things but couldn't take two seconds to offer a word of comfort

Am i being petty? I feel like people just get sick of you being sad and think you should "move on".

I'm angry and I hate it.

I put alot of energy into feeling resentful and I know it's just hurting me, but I can't seems to stop. I try to let it go but most days I am So mad.

I don't know where the line is between depression and giref lies, but I think I may have crossed it.

I just seem to hate the world and I miss my mom and it feels like nobody cares. Even my kids and husband.

[kaycee42]

I can understand your feelings Kiki. I feel the same way as you my Dad passed 15 weeks ago and no one wants to know. My kids seem to have recovered and my Husband is not really interested. However, I think I am looking at things a bit differently. The way I see it is that kids do recover from their Grandparents death a lot quicker, I know I did. My friends, well their turn will come, and until it does they can not understand how devastated I am. I have certainly looked at people in a different light and may at some time in the future not be as helpful as I would normally be. Kiki I am sure that your Mum would not want you feeling like this, I too lost my Mum within two weeks to Liver cancer, we had no idea, and Mum just thought she had a sickness bug and then my Dad just dwindled away. You are so not alone and only people that has lost someone so precious can understand your feelings. It is all part of a process but if you feel that it has turned into real depression please talk to your Doctor, please do not let it eat you up. We care on here how you feel, and we care about you and your loss, keep talking to us and let us know how you are getting on. Sending you hugs

[Kiki2466]

thank you Kaycee. I did end up calling my insurance's ental health line after I wrote this and I am going to see someone. The craziest thing is, two of my "best friends" have already lost their mothers. I thought they'd get it. :-(

I don't know if my friendships will ever recover, but I will.