In laws...

[Yadairaisabel]

Hello everyone! Today has been a hard day. I went to therapy and usually I get very emotional afterwards. But today I went from being emotional because of therapy to being hurt by words I know we're not meant to hurt me yet they did. Ill explain.

When chuck passed away we were living at his parents till we closed the deal on our first home. This was due to the inconvenience of living on a third floor apt and being 9 months pregnant with complications. So to ease my pain we stayed with them. After him passing away it was only natural that I choose where to stay. I decided to stay with my in laws because I thought that would ease the pain of loosing their son since they would spend time with their grand kids. Now when you are in a home where people are grieving at diff stages and each play a diff role in the life of the one lost things can get complicated and things can be said that can at the end of the day flat out hurt.

Today it happened again. My mother in law was telling me how much she misses her son and etc and I tell her that I'm having a really rough time too. So she tells me AT LEAST YOU DIDINT SPEND SO MANY YEARS WITH HIM. Now those words stabbed my heart like a cold knife. I like always did not say a word. Because I have placed myself in their shoes and most def it is not the same pain they lost a son and I lost my spouse and father of my children.

It is very hard to deal with this because its true we did not spend a life worth of time together but we are only 24 our family just started with our 3 yr old and now 2 month old daughter. So yes I did not spend a lifetime with chuck but we had already committed ourselves to that lifetime. And we were creating our family.

I highly doubt that I will ever say anything about these comments and how much they hurt. I just needed to let it out and also remind people that the pain of loosing your partner is not defined by the time you spent together but by the love you had together.

God bless

[Caremal]

This is a safe place to let it out. Your grief and hers are not the same - yet you are all in pain. My heart goes out to you and know you are not alone. My iinlaws told me ont he day I burried my husband of the family items I have and who I was to give them to on that day. I did not do so we were gogether 32 years. I will NOT be handing over them items to them now or ever. speaking of getting things off our chest. SO just know it is a safe place here. we all care and support eachother in ways that are unmeasureable.

[Yadairaisabel]

This is a safe place to let it out. Your grief and hers are not the same - yet you are all in pain. My heart goes out to you and know you are not alone. My iinlaws told me ont he day I burried my husband of the family items I have and who I was to give them to on that day. I did not do so we were gogether 32 years. I will NOT be handing over them items to them now or ever. speaking of getting things off our chest. SO just know it is a safe place here. we all care and support eachother in ways that are unmeasureable.

Thank you Carmel. I appreciate your words. And If you ever need to just let something out count on me to listen. You are very right it's two diff kinds of pain but at the end of the day we are all suffering.