Feel Like A Robot

[TFurrow27]

I guess I should kick off with saying I have never posted in any typ of forum ever, so if im doing wrong I apologize, but I don't know what els to do. My mother passed away this November while at was receiving chemo in AZ she had a heart attack the day after I arrived in AZ, however my uncle kept saying don't come home I think she's fine. The next day I got a call saying she was in ICU and was in a medicaly induced coma, so I left AZ that night by the time I got there she was on life support and nothing in the world could have prepaird me for what I saw the first time I walked into the ICU . I feel like it was at that very moment I just checked out emotionaly . I don't know if it was shock or if there is something very wrong with me and I'm a little scared. I can't cry and I can't smile I feel like i'm trapt in this weird between world that can't be real.. The next day my uncle decided to take her off the life support without even talking to me about it first. I wasn't there when she died and the ammount of anger I had is unbeleivable. I know I would have never let them leave her hooked up to all those machines but I'm so angery that no one even gave me a heads up. Who was he to make that call? I'm her daughter I should have been there.

The next big shocker came the next morning after she passed away, my uncle, aunt, father and friend of my mothers came struting through my front door and basicly attacked me telling me the cancer treatment I have chosen is to expensive and I should find a place closer to home, then they went into a long winded speach about how they wanted me to give them my power of atterny, when I refused they informed me that because I was my mothers beneficiary they where going to finde a way to cut me out of her will so I wouldn't waste the money on cancer treatments.

So now I feel like I have not only lost my mother but my remaining family as well.

I'm so lost right now I almost don't even want to fight this cancer anymore I just don't see the point of it all if this is what I have to look forward to. Yesterday was her funeral and I didn't shed one single tear and part of me knows this is not good but what do I do? I have never felt so alone and abandoned by people who I thought loved me I just don't understand this world anymore . I'm living in a house with my father and older sister who are both alcoholics and every night they get into these screaming fights and I can't stand to listen to it anymore . I have no one now.

[nopeace]

I understand everything you wrote. In a similar situation. Losing a Mother and everybody you thought was family has turned against you.Not only that but being accused of murder and manslaughter against my Momma. But know you are NOT alone. God is still in charge. Don't give up. Pray, Pray, Pray. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and GOD will work things out in your favor. What God has for you, it is for "YOU."

[ChelseaRaeMiller]

I'm not very good with words but this breaks my heart. Don't give up. You have a purpose. i don't think your mom would want you to let them tear you down like that. she only lives in your heart and memory now. focus on getting better. they may want you to give up and they may want you to fail but don't live to satisfy them. Live for yourself, for your mother, and fight like hell. Show everyone how strong you can be. It's going to hurt. But i bet there's a happy ending down the road somewhere. i believe in you.