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Well... it has finally happened...


Aimee

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Yes, folks, someone has suggested that it is time to move on! I almost thought I heard my sister wrong when she said it. It hasn't been a year... I haven't gone through all the "firsts" yet, and she is telling me that she is worried about me not being able to move on?

Luckily, I was able NOT to get flaming mad; and gently told her that I had mentioned to my therapist (which I really had) that I was afraid that I was obsessing over my loss, and that the therapist had told me (which she really had) that what I was doing was healthy!

Seriously!?! I didn't think that my own sister would be so forgetful that she would mention that I 'move on.' How?

Do you think I responded correctly? or should I have "let loose?"

Aimee

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There is no pat answer; each situation and the people are different, esp families. Some can be very candid, even blunt with each other and quickly get past it, some are very hypersensitive and no one can so much as say boo without a lot of melodrama - many are in between somewhere I think. Probably wouldn't go any good to blast her, she seems to have meant well. Maybe you should point her to this site or to a professional who can explain how there is no timetable but this does typically take a LOT of time to work through - and you NEVER get "over it," which is an idiotic phrase anyway. But keep in mind she spoke out of ignorance, as most do.

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My reply lately has been.. " through all the seasons of my life, I have made a lot of choices that everyone didn't always agree with, and although a lot has changed , I will know if and when it's time to move on. Thanks for caring, but I have to decide these things for myself, just like always." Very few will persist after that- but there are always exceptions.

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