Members MarisasMom Posted December 7, 2012 Members Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 Hi everyoneI apologize if this seems like a shallow sort of topic.It has been about 9 months since my adult daughter died. My brother-in-law, his girlfriend and adult son have invited themselves down from New York for a visit, to stay 2 nights. I am an introvert by nature and definitely not good at having houseguests. I always dread their visits & This time I really don't want to see them. They are not real empathetic people to begin with.My husband can't say no, though I know the visits aren't much fun for him either. This year is kind of different though. Very different. I don't know if it's my grief that is making this such a dreadful situation or what. Just wondered if anyone else has gone through something like this about unwelcome relatives or guests when you're grieving...Susan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hotrod Posted December 7, 2012 Members Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 DEAR SUSANi DO UNDERSTAND SO VERY WELL. i LOST MY ONLY CHILD, STEPHEN 5 YEARS AGO AND STILL HAVE TROUBLE ENTERTAINING.I SIMPLY STATE I CANNOT ENTERTAIN ANYONE AT THIS TIME. MY HEART AND SOUL ARE NOT IN IT AND LEAVE IT AT THAT. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF DEAR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members justinlsmom Posted December 7, 2012 Members Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 Hi Susan,You have every right to say "no" that you just arent able for it his year, and that maybe for Easter. I myself am an extrovert, always entertaining, always having people over, always with people, when my son passed away just over 4 months ago I can't handle having people stay over anymore, I explained to my friends that i love their visits, but i cannot have people spend the night, i need to be able to walk around my house at night if i cant sleep, i like my quiet mornings with a cup a tea and my memories. You should not feel bad about this, you need your time to think abut your daughter and enjoy your memories, its not fair that they are forced on you, you need to take care of you. Is there a hotel close by to where you live that you could call and arrange a room for them, knowing that they are leaving at the end of the day may allow you to enjoy the day a little better.This is my first christmas and my husband, myself, my daughter and my mother are flying to ireland to visit relatives. Instead of staying with family which is something we usually do, we have rented an apartment. I know I need my alone time, every day is different and when i feel i am forced into something my stress levels go through the roof and i am not pleasant to be around.Good luck with whatever you decide and take care of yourself.Patty (justins mom) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD99501 Posted January 4, 2013 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2013 During the years after my sons death i Alienated my father. My son passed in November 2007 I just starting talking to him again amonth ago. Since I dont need anything from him in the way of support. Ditch weak ass uncaring people.They dont get it. They wont get it.Why suffer more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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