Members VesperJAK Posted December 5, 2012 Members Report Share Posted December 5, 2012 I lost my mom two weeks ago. She was sick for about 9 months after she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. We all knew that the end was around the corner with this news, but there is no such thing as preparing yourself for the loss. My mom was a solitary woman, who had a complicated past. She had struggled with many addictions and we felt like the parent to her most of the time. We didnt always have the greatest relationship but it still hurts like anything else would. People say "it feels like I lost a part of me" and I never understood what that could really feel like until now. Life has gone on, but it still feels as if something about the world is off, and something is missing. As tough as it was to watch her decline in the condition, I have to be grateful she is no longer in pain. I hope she heard my voice, felt my touch and heard us laugh around her towards the end. I hope she heard every time I told her I loved her and thought that maybe it could be the last time. Some people say this hurt never goes away, you just learn to live with it. I cant imagine living with this feeling. It doesnt even seem real. The world is completely different to me now and things just dont make sense. Even when she was at her worst, the world around me still didnt feel as incomplete as it does now. I know Im not alone in this but it feels as if I am. Im 27 years old and I wont have my mother to be at my wedding, to see my children or any of it. There is truly no one that can replace a parent no matter what. Im sorry for the rant, maybe its just better to get this stuff out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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