What's the most comforting thing you heard/read that helped you cope with the loss

[Anamika]

I know we have all heard/read things during the most dificult time of loss of a loved one. Some things barely touched us. Some went striaght into our hearts. There may have been a thing or two, a friend said or you read somewhere that offered you the most peace and hope to carry on. I know it never ends the grief or mend the broken heart. But that might be the line you think every time when you are in deep sorrow. The line that gives you some solace or even tragic comfort.

What's that one line for you?

Here is one line that helped me. A friend wrote to me.

"Death is a natural process. Every one has to go through this and there is no escape. Remember that it's your turn now, it will be someone else's tomorrow. Know that's not anything you alone will have to endure. Pretty much everyone has to take the road that's in front of you now. I know it's holiday time and you are thinking the world is happy but me. But remember that someone in this world was grieving when you were celebrating. and after you have bounced back and be celebrating, someone else will be grieving. So just know that what happened to you is something that will happen to everyone in this world and you are not alone in your pain"

Write to me about the one thing or two that helped ease your mind the most. The one line that you think of or hold on to for support.

[stillfighting431]

How simple,yet so profound & comforting.....Thanks for sharing this....

I've been trying to think about that one line or two that lifted my spirit while dealing with my loss,but came up empty...most people just shrug their shoulders & say, "It's God's will & there's nothing anyone can do about it...Just accept it & move on..."

If only it was so simple.....Acceptance isn't a piece of candy that you can shove down a grieving person's throat.....It's a life long process......

My friend Frank Aguilar sent me this way back....It brought me some peace.....Hi ! Frank ...How've you been...I know I haven't been in touch ....Life just keeps piling on & I can't seem to catch a break.....but you've been in my thoughts & prayers....

Here's the poem....Hope it helps you too Anamika..

Death is nothing at all

　

Death is nothing at all. It does not count.

　

I have only slipped away into the next room.

　

Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was.

　

I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.

　

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

　

Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.

　

Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

　

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.

　

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

　

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.

　

Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

　

Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity.

　

What is this death but a negligible accident?

　

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

　

　

　

I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner.

　

All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.

　

One brief moment and all will be as it was before.

　

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

　

　

　

　

　

Henry Scott Holland

1847 - 1918

Also check out this post ...'Grief Etiquittes' by Kali Shey......

Posted 17 October 2011 - 10:50 PM

When someone loses a loved one.. that is the time to put grudges aside. It is a time for forgiveness. It is a time for understanding. It is a time to give them that extra bit of slack.. or huge amounts of it, if necessary.

When someone loses a loved one.. that is the time that they are most vulnerable. It is a time when they are the most 'human'. It is a time when they are the most fragile.. and easily broken.

When someone loses a loved one.. they are not going to 'get over it' tomorrow, or next month, or even next year. They are not going to stop thinking about the person who has passed. They are not going to forget what is missing, even after everyone else does.

When someone loses a loved one.. they need compassion. They need love. They need to cry, to scream, to laugh, to fall apart and put themselves back together, over and over again. They need you to realize that every day of their life is now different.. another unique reminder of what they've lost.

When someone loses a loved one.. don't be afraid to comfort them. Don't be afraid to acknowledge their loss. Don't be afraid to make them cry, because they're going to cry anyway. Don't be afraid to say the wrong thing, because the worst thing to say is nothing at all.

When someone loses a loved one.. they are haunted by the person they used to be. By the life they used to have. By the memories of the one who is gone. A person can never be replaced, and those they leave behind are never the same.

When someone loses a loved one.. they will be angry. They will be sad. They will tell you the same stories, share the same anecdotes, over and over, until you could recite them yourself. Let them. It is a way of keeping their memory alive.

When someone loses a loved one.. be kind to them. They are going through their own private hell, and every single day requires a strength that, until you've experienced it yourself, is simply unimaginable.

Stay strong my friend....we're all here with you......

[Megan Benoit]

From my father after WrestleMania 20, before he boarded his flight, when I was upset that he was going away:

"No matter how long I'm away, no matter where I'm at, I'll always be with you, baby. Don't you ever forget that. Even if I can't be with you in person, I'll always be in your heart. And you'll be in mine. I promise, MeggieBear. I love you babygirl."

[Anamika]

Stillfighting, Megan - Great responses. Thanks.

There are few lines such as this that will provide us strength to carry on...It's comforting to know and share.

[Helpheartsheal]

I went to see a medium after a year of depression after my dad died and he said to me " I know you love me, if I could have changed anything I would have died in your arms because that's how much I love you"....that lifted a huge weight off my shoulders because I felt guilty for 12 months because I didn't tell my dad I loved him the last time I spoke to him. It may sound so simple but not saying it really broke my heart xx

[ajlounyinjurylaw]

This forum for one is therapeutic. I'm a big Deepak Chopra fan. Life After Death: The Burden of Proof is comforting. as well.