Members mosipenko Posted November 19, 2012 Members Report Share Posted November 19, 2012 My mom passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly last Sunday (Nov 11) at age 59. It has been a real shock to my system. My husband and I have been helping my father as much as we can. I am an only child so it has been rough. And my heart breaks for him being alone now and being lonely.She went in her sleep and now I am afraid to sleep I think. It takes me along time to fall asleep and I don't sleep very long. I also have been having chest pains, which worry me since she died from heart related issues, and it makes me think I have something wrong. But it could just be grief.I feel like I am in a fog, or dream. Like this isn't real, but some horrible dream I will wake up from.It feels like forever since she has been gone, and also like she really isn't.I might have to seek some counseling.Is all this normal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted November 19, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted November 19, 2012 Mosipenko,I am so sorry about the loss of your mother. Yes, everything you are experiencing is normal. You've just been through a terrible trauma, and it's going to take some real time to get through the roller coaster of emotions you will experience. If you are angry, sad, frustrated, lonely, scared, overwhelmed and feel like everything is moving in slow motion, then that's okay, too. You may want to seek some counseling to help you put things into perspective. It certainly cannot hurt you to have someone to talk to. Are you eating or drinking plenty of non-alcoholic fluids? Are you talking to friends and family? Don't be afraid to cry, and just comfort your dad if he is crying. For now, just get through a little at a time. We will be here for you,ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mosipenko Posted February 21, 2013 Members Report Share Posted February 21, 2013 I just wanted to post a little update. It has been really tough going, good days and bad days, but getting to the point where it is more good than bad. Christmas was super rough and felt awkward (my mom loved christmas) but my dad found some gifts my mom had bought for us so that was a nice surprise, to still get something from her.He seems to be doing ok and I know her cat is helping him, having something to care for.I have been wearing some of my mom's jewellery. And recently, I must confess this, I got into her email. I guessed the password. I think my dad cleaned it out, because there was nothing in the inbox, but the sent items were still there. So I have been reading them periodically. It gives me a little glimpse into her on a more personal level and makes me feel close to her still. It may be wrong but for now it gives me comfort.Other than that, I do get panic/anxiety attacks, not as much as I was before, but still a few a month. When I think about dying one day I get really panicked, but I can usually stop it by getting my mind on something else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lamp Posted February 22, 2013 Members Report Share Posted February 22, 2013 She went in her sleep and now I am afraid to sleep I think. It takes me along time to fall asleep and I don't sleep very long. I also have been having chest pains, which worry me since she died from heart related issues, and it makes me think I have something wrong. But it could just be grief.OMG, could this explain why I haven't been able to sleep? I know my dad died in his sleep, although he "officially" died at the hospital. The reason I believe this is at 5:30 the morning he died, I felt a strong pull, which my faith believes was the Holy Spirit, tug at me. It was like a bolt of lightning and I sat straight up in bed and looked at the clock which read 5:30. About an hour later, the nursing home called me to say Dad wasn't responsive and he was being taken to the hospital. Since his death, I was awakened for several days afterward at 5:30, and now, I get awake several times during the night. Needless to say, I'm exhausted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bethypooh Posted February 27, 2013 Members Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 Lamp I understand,when we got my moms stuff from the rehab place they said at 730 she was really bad,i tried calling at 730 the said someone had called and no one was there and she dropped the phone..from then on i felt a hole in my chest...i think sometimes it was holy spirit preparing me..:-(To mosipenko: I did the same thing,I looked at my moms emails,and I was her care taker when my brother basically lived across the strees and never came and checked on her when husband and i were working.not even go visit the hospital or rehab place...But in alot of her emails she complained about my husband and I alot at first my heart dropped like, I did the best I could...There were some nice things dont get me wrong but more bad than good ...I regret looking at them afterwards but I remember here stories that she told like,she was very detailed and i was like yeah i rememeber that day...I wanted that closeness.Its so hard when I come across her stuff from make up to body lotions to notes she left (grocery list) its so hard,My mom died on the 2nd of feb,some days it seems real some days im like oh i gotta tell her,then it hits me i cant :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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