The firsts (First Halloween)

[DJCCHV]

I'm sitting inside, and I do have some candy if any kids knock for Halloween, but they may see tears on my cheeks. This is one more first, and my husband and I had a special technique for Halloween. We invented it when we lived in a 3rd floor apartment in the Bronx, and had revived it the last two years when we moved back from the UK where they don't really have the trick-or-treat tradition.

Our building in the Bronx was very secure, and neighbors definitely don't appreciate it when you let unknown strangers into the building, but we had a balcony. I rigged up a basket hung by black threads into which we would put candy. When we saw some costumed kids approaching, we'd lower the basket in front of them. With the black thread, it looked like it was floating in mid air and they loved it. These last two years, we had been in a house at the top of a wall. The kids could take the steps up and knock on the door, but we decided it would be more fun to do our "fishing for Halloweeners" thing off the side of the wall instead. We had such fun together doing such simple things.

And this year...I just can't. I just don't want anything at all to do with Halloween at all, unless maybe I could have a visit from my own personal spirit that I miss so much.

How do you deal with the "firsts"?

D

[naty0123]

Thank u for shareing your story of your love one! The first are gonna be very hard. I lost my John in may of this year. I didnt decorate and i didnt pass candy, however i took our daughter out, but this was her and her dads thing.so she didnt want to be out long!!!! Dont know how im suppose to be.strong for our girls! Keep sharing there are some very neat people on here and they can relate

[Mdanielson4]

I am very scared of the firsts. I think the hardest will be Thanksgiving and Christmas. Then in January it will be her Birthday. I just want to dig a hole and crawl in. I won't but I do not know how I will handle it. I am alone here and really have no plans on going anywhere. I have no family here so I will try to just forget.

Mike

[val]

I too am scared of all the 'firsts'. Last night I turned out the lights and went to bed to avoid Halloween. Last year my husband and I had such a good time with the kids. Last night was also the fourth anniversary of our moving into our home together. I remember laying in bed with him four years ago and feeling so blessed we finally had a nice, quiet , very private setting, a home, to live in. Never would I have anticipated the pain I'd be in four years later, without him. Jerry died July 5 2012. Almost four months now, four months of pain,feelings of abandonment, and quite possibly grieving all the other losses of life I had never acknowledged. Christmas, Thanksgiving, my birthday, his birthday. It is all just too overwhelming for me to think about other than one day at a time. Keep posting here, there are very good people and we're all going through it one way or another. God Bless You, Val

[UnderHis Wings]

Last night was a first. Last Halloween he and I had a nice time passing out candy and chatting with one of the parents. I thought I'd see the same family again and even baked cupcakes for them to take home. I knew I'd have to explain that he had passed away in September. But they never came. I was depressed.

At least at Thanksgiving and Christmas I won't be answering the door unless my children come by to see me.