My mum, my best friend

[Nicky99]

I lost my Mum to breast cancer at the end of Aug and just can't believe that I'll never see her beautiful face again, she was not just my mum but my best friend and confidante. Her death was very sudden after she had made, what we thought was a full recovery from her breast cancer in 2010, then very suddenly we were told it had spread to her bones and she was gone 6 weeks later. We managed to have her at home for her final weeks and myself and my step dad never left her side. She was a very young 60 when she passed away.

I can't help but feel like life is so unfair and I am finding it so difficult to continue with life without her. Everything seems so pointless. This may sound awful as I have 2 beautiful children who I am trying to be strong for but I just can't believe she won't get to see them grow up.

My sister never talks about her or shows her feelings and my mum was always the one who kept us all together and I feel like she is just getting on with her life like nothing has happened.

I feel so completely alone!

[goof_noodle]

im so sorry.

i can completely relate as i also lost my mom to cancer in the of Aug. You are very fortunate that you have 2 children that your mom has been able to meet. Until now i had to be on automatic in order to just get through each day. I kept myself so busy so i wouldn't have time to think or react. Life finally just settled down for me, and it started to hit. and hit hard. Again, you are so lucky that your mom at least met your 2 children, as i cannot believe my mom will not be there while my children are born, or watch them grow. My children will never know my mom.

Life is unfair. but i keep thinking......who promised us it would be just? i guess what keeps refocusing me back into life is to try to continue what my mom couldn't accomplish. do things she dreamed of doing. and hopefully have children to carry her name, & who will be raised with whatever wisdom i was able 2 gain from her.

and it definitely feels lonely. there's nothing that can replace a mother. but i guess we're really not all alone.... we've got God if we let Him in...and we have the many of us going through this together.

Stay strong...

[sweetpea85]

Nicky,

Our stories sound very similar. My Mom had been diagnosed with colon cancer in December of 2009 and while we knew she still had two small tumors, she had been doing amazingly well for the last three years. A few little scares here and there, but basically it was controlled and hadn't spread. We got the news in August that it had spread and that it was time to get affairs in order and say goodbyes, and weeks later, she was gone. I'm still in a numb/shocked state but like you, I spent every minute possible with her and helped my stepdad care for her. I'm very sorry for what you're going through. Watching the person you love with all your heart slowly drift away is the most heartbreaking thing I've ever experienced.

Hugs to you and I will be praying for you.