I thought I could handle this alone ........

[My3MGirls]

Sorry -- wrong topical area. I apologize for this posting.

My loving wife passed away a couple of months ago. I never thought of her this way before, and I guess I would have never thought I would say this, but apparently I have lost my soul mate.

The funeral home and the hospice she was in all offered me grief counseling, etc. but I refused. In fact, I still would refuse because I want to handle my loss and my feelings in private. But I am really having a hard time. Without my wife, I seem to be lost. Yes, I get up in the morning and do what I am supposed to do. I do the chores; I do the shopping; I cook/clean, etc. etc. But it seems like I find no joy anymore in what I do.

I have three dogs. Well, they are mine now, but my wife picked them all out. I love them too and to some strange extent, they give me purpose to go on -- I have to care for them, feed them, and love them. I have no family here close to me, but I really don't even want to talk to them about this situation -- why is that?

I know that time will heal all wounds. I have lost love ones before. I have lost loyal companions and pets before too. I lost my mother and father. And all of those losses hurt me too, but I got over it. But it seems that this time, the hurt is very deep and immense.

I am trying to find some volunteer work or something to keep me occupied, but I cannot find anything that interests me. I know my limitations and my likes/dislikes, so I have a pretty narrow window of opportunity for volunteer work.

How have you others in similar situations been coping with this?

[PANDABEAR123]

I'm so sorry for your lost, I lost my daughter Sept. 11,2012 in her sleep very shocking, my heart is broken and empty, but I know she's in heaven doing the work with our Lord. I know she wants me to stop crying so much, and hurting. I feel that when I see her visually, she's telling me I'm okay mommy, I'm happy I haven't left you I'm right with you, just be silent and you will feel and hear me next to you, I love you mommy..I know your wife is near holding you tight saying I'm hear my love, everything you see and feel is me, I love you! God bless you, and please reach out to others, I feel I'm alone with my grieve even though I have alot of family and friends even my husband but he's not understanding my pain.. Michelle was his step daughter. I've started to reach out, because I also can't do this alone, even with my faith, this is so hard to deal with my pain for my daughter, she was so happy and beautiful daughter.. I'm still trying to understand...

[immissingyou]

I think to be honest that grief counseling would be good for you. I don't know as that you are ready for group counseling but one on one would probably be good. Believe it or not, getting all of it off your chest and just having someone listen that only does that - listen - is of such value. I agree with you with the volunteer work. After my grandmother died I turned to a beautiful nursing home and they paired me with two older women that had no visitors. It healed my heart in a way that I can't express. I am so very sorry for your loss and with time, it will get better. Doesn't mean you will ever be the same but you will be able to begin a new chapter. ((hugs))