Members mavericks_goose Posted October 16, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 My name is Laci, am 25 years old, and I lost my fiance' Kyle on July 3rd, 2012, we were going to get married this December and the sudden loss of his life has left me in a world of chaotic pain. I don't know what to do with myself, my family doesn't know what to do with/for me, the few friends I've discovered are real ones are trying everything they can but in reality they don't know what to say to me as they can't walk in my shoes and don't know the pain I am suffering. The day I lost him I lost part of my life and future as well. I lost the future husband, the future "American Dream" that every person desires, I lost the future idea of children, our hopes, dreams and aspirations we had for ourselves and for our relationship and for each other. I don't know how to cope with the fact that I won't get to experience those things with him, and have no desire in ever experiencing them with anyone else. My heart hurts so bad I find the smallest things draws tears to my eyes and a piercing pain throughout my body. It's been over 3 months and I haven't been able to bring myself to visit his grave site since we buried him. I feel like I'm losing my mind at times and the only time I feel somewhat normal is when I can finally fall asleep which is rare. I hate and despise nights as that's when I crave his touch and holding the worse. I never experienced such strong love as what we had, never even knew it existed. We use to get told by so many around us that we had the love that most people spend their entire lives searching for. I understood him and he understood me, we knew why we both had our quirks, our faults, our flaws, and still loved each other deeply through it all. My heart hurts so much knowing I'll never get to feel his love or see it again the way he was able to cradle me in it just by looking at me or smiling at me. I see videos of us, or listen to voicemails of his and it comforts me for a minute only to have the realization that those memories created will never get a chance to continue to be made. I'm at a loss and live in a small town where there are no grief support groups and have no means of transportation to drive the 60+ miles to the nearest support group. I am seeing a psychiatrist and between him, my mother, father, and myself we've agreed that I am way too up and down emotionally and way to mentally unstable to work so I sit at home. Most of the time I'm okay, but as soon as the sun starts setting that's when everything hits like a ton of bricks. I've come here as a hope of being able to find some sense of healing and a sense of knowing that I'm not alone. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kendi Posted October 16, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 I am so sorry to hear about your loss of your love and know the pain as well! I wish I could tell you the right words to comfort you. I can tell you that this site is amazing and the people here are to. I lost my true love on August 7 this year. Our love to was like no other, we finished each others sentences, if I thought it he done it. We were together over 11 years and today is our 3rd anniversary. I miss him terribly my heart and soul aches for his laughter,smile, his voice and his touch. I know we will meet again but until then it really is hard. I to have supportive people and family around me but it is not the same as Kenny. We grieve in our own way even though we suffered the same loss. You will find your way as well and if others do not agree just asked them to try and let you. I know sometimes people can be pushy overbearing especially if the care, I just told mine I dont know how to feel or act so just let me do this and I will let you know if I need you. This site here as I said is great to be apart of. Everyone is supportive and just beautiful to me. So keep reading and posting. You will find out like I did that people have the same feelings you do and for some reason it helped me so much. I am not over loosing Kenny and probably never will. People say it gets easier I am just not sure when. My thoughts and prayers are with you and family as you go through this and please let me know if anything I can do, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mavericks_goose Posted October 16, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 I am so sorry to hear about your loss of your love and know the pain as well! I wish I could tell you the right words to comfort you. I can tell you that this site is amazing and the people here are to. I lost my true love on August 7 this year. Our love to was like no other, we finished each others sentences, if I thought it he done it. We were together over 11 years and today is our 3rd anniversary. I miss him terribly my heart and soul aches for his laughter,smile, his voice and his touch. I know we will meet again but until then it really is hard. I to have supportive people and family around me but it is not the same as Kenny. We grieve in our own way even though we suffered the same loss. You will find your way as well and if others do not agree just asked them to try and let you. I know sometimes people can be pushy overbearing especially if the care, I just told mine I dont know how to feel or act so just let me do this and I will let you know if I need you. This site here as I said is great to be apart of. Everyone is supportive and just beautiful to me. So keep reading and posting. You will find out like I did that people have the same feelings you do and for some reason it helped me so much. I am not over loosing Kenny and probably never will. People say it gets easier I am just not sure when. My thoughts and prayers are with you and family as you go through this and please let me know if anything I can do,Thank you so much, I've read that same letter from Heaven and I read it almost 10x a day cuz it brings such comfort to my heart and soul but it's still not his voice saying the words. I have tons of letters from him that I read and re-read but it's not the same as receiving a new letter from him or note from him saying new ways of how he loves me or what he loves about me. I miss the feeling of the need for me he gave me, the wanting of me in his life...he's the only one other that my mom and dad that have made me feel that wanted and needed before...now I need him just as much as he use to need me and even though he's here in my heart it's not the same as him being the one to wipe my tears away, to hold me and tell me that everything's going to be okay. I just need to hear those words from him so bad like he use to say when things started feeling like they were falling apart for me, and for that brief moment when he'd say it everything was okay.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DJCCHV Posted October 16, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 We understand here. I was nearly 50 when I finally found that love. It took so long, and I got hurt so many times, but I kept trying and I found it. Then, this March, only 14 years later, he died. I get mad on his behalf that he died so early, that we had so little time. To think that you never even got to marry the person you had that kind of love with makes me cry along with you. I welcome the times when I cry because I know about scientific studies that show that tears have different components according to what causes them. In other words, you are literally crying out the chemicals of pain. I know about not being able to go to the grave. I didn't have a funeral for my guy. I couldn't bear it so soon. I couldn't bear that people might come who hadn't really known him that well or who were only coming out of sympathy for me without having known him at all. Instead, two months later, around his birthday, I had a small gathering of the folks who had known him well (he had no family) as a sort of celebration of his life. His ashes are right across the room for me in a beautiful urn with pictures of us and cards we gave each other all around it along with a lock of his hair. We sat around and talked about how he had contributed to our lives. I also know about the nights. The first one was really really bad, and then I felt as if he was actually pulling a blanket of his love over me and I could finally sleep, on his side of the bed, that smelled like him. One night I got up and sprayed his aftershave on the pillow. It didn't help. I still sleep on his side only of the bed. I wish I dreamed more of him. I've begged in the night for him to come to me in my dreams. It doesn't happen. Sometimes I think I can't possibly live the rest of my life in absence of that love, and other times I think there's not a chance in the world of an other future for me. I listen fairly often for what he has to say to me, and sometimes I actually think he sends messages, things I wouldn't have thought to say to myself but he would have. I'll tell you one and hope it helps. One day when I was feeling really bad, I could suddenly almost here him lecturing me, saying "Hey! I'm the one who's dead, not you! It doesn't do me or you one bit of good for you to sit around feeling bad. That's not what I want you to do. How can I possibly enjoy a good afterlife when you're hurting so bad?! Go out there and live! I'll be watching over you." I've felt better ever since about doing things to rebuild my life. I'm here because each season brings new memories that hurt and need to be dealt with. I don't like winter and tend to be a hermit during it, but that won't do this year. I've got to try to keep building my life again. I hope you'll think about the kind of life he wanted for you and let him watch over you as you try to build that life on your own. Take care. Hope this helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BreathofAngel Posted October 16, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Dearest (((((Laci))))),Thank you for contacting us at this forum and for sharing your story. I express my deepest sympathy for the physical loss of your fiance'. I know there are few words that can change you from one way of feeling to another instantly but I want for you to know that all things happen for a reason. Most times we do not understand that reason and that is what contributes to the on-going hurt. But we must leave that which we do not understand in the hands of God, our Heavenly Father and Creator, who does understand and who loves us more than we know when He calls one of His beloved back home.We cannot try to second-guess why this has happened other than it has as all is in Divine Order in life. God makes no mistakes. What you must do is gain Strength to go on as you know you must, dearest. Something like this can bring things to a near stand still yet those who have passed always have the desire for us to go on with our life and in time even to find someone new to continue to love us and share their life with us. That is the epitome of unselfishness on their part as those who have studied these matters relay to us. And we must learn to yield to the higher power of the continuation of life because most assuredly it does continue. The worst thing that can happen is to remain in deep sorrow because if that could actually help we would hear only the constant wailing from all in the world as the miraculous panacea, however, life is meant to grow well beyond that sad phase. Yes, it does take time to reach that final understanding and no two people are alike in that respect. My heart is with you at this time but I know that as soon as you can properly process what has happened along with the realization that you need to move ahead you will find the fountain that will bring you a fresh new understanding with which to actually continue. That can and will happen! As for the nighttime that you fear, yes dearheart, it is difficult to find ourselves at a moment of the ending day when we used to find such comfort and love and to see that it can be no more. But Kyle's light still shines brightly for you! You see, he never really left. What counts, his spiritual essence, is still very much with you! So, when you think that you cannot tolerate the night and going to sleep without him, instead turn that around by saying to yourself that nighttime was a very special time for the two of you and even though he is not in physical body anymore, the night can bring dreams and communication from one's beloved. It is Biblical that God speaks to us in dreams and can even allow our loved ones to visit us in spirit during that special time. Ask God to allow Kyle to come to you in a way that you can readily recognize to bring you some comfort. Many here in this forum have received such comfort from their loved ones while sleeping. Keep the faith, dear Laci! Keep the faith! Know that Love continues without any barriers! When you start to feel alone, openly speak to Kyle and he will hear you. Many have done that and have found great comfort in such communication.May God bless you and guide you through this storm. And remember that the sky is always the darkest just before the light! And your life need not be one of darkness because it truly becomes what YOU wish it to become. With your understanding that Kyle wants you to move forward instead of remain stymied with something you cannot change, you will know that his love for you continues from beyond and will be there always to guide you and see you through your darkest hours. But first and foremost, God is always your Eternal Light and a lamp unto your feet as you walk your path. You have just to reach out to Him as He is there for you. You Are Not Alone!---------------------------------------------------Life truly becomes what YOU make of it!Whatever your experience is, exists becauseit was or is In Your Mind! -- BreathofAngel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lawnranger Posted October 16, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Hello Laci, You've come to the right place. We all help each other with the emotions loss brings.There's lot's of support here. I'lost my best friend of about 36 years and she became my wife for 17 of those 36 years. When you love someone and they are suddenly gone it's hard to understand why Nights are hard I know. Do come here often we all care and support one another........Steve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members paulaj Posted October 17, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 Did I sign on to some kind of religious forum? Isn't there a place to discuss spiritual and religious beliefs?Mandala Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DJCCHV Posted October 17, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 No, Mandala, though many find comfort in religion. There is a specific forum region for talking religion, but it is bound to be offerred as a possible source of comfort in just about any of our discussions. Feel free to request that it be left out if you wish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members paulaj Posted October 19, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 Feel free to use private e-mail too. It is not a source of comfort for everybody. People are of different backgrounds and are experiencing different spiritual/religious struggles, and this stuff just manages to make some feel worse. Yes, there is a specific forum for this, but why use that when you need an audience? After all, you can cram your viewpoint down the throat of everybody.Mandala Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DJCCHV Posted October 19, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 OK, Mandala, I think we get that you are not one of those people for whom anything related to religion is a comfort. But may I presume you do want comfort of some sort? Understanding? Commiseration? Sharing of what we find comforting that is not religious? OK. I find that seeing improv comedy and trying to do it myself is diverting and makes my mind feel less leaden. Talk. Even try to hurt us if that makes you feel better. Hope to hear more from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members paulaj Posted October 19, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 You have no idea where I'm coming from. BTW, who is *we.*? *We* is used by royalty, heads of state, Popes, etc.Check any grammar book. You cannot speak for a group of diverse people. I guess that's why one of the rules of polite discourse is not to discuss religion or politics. I've found the support I'm looking for here from my peers, without bringing my personal belief system into anything. And if I did, it would be in the appropriate place. I usually active on this site, but lately I've been dealing with illness. I have no desire to hurt anybody - check my past posts if you wish. If you want to continue this discussion, I suggest you take it private.Mandala Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bacher123 Posted October 19, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 Laci, I am so sorry. I wish I had words of comfort. And you are not losing your mind, I feel the same way at times. I have read far too many books in the three and a half weeks since my love passed away and everything I read tells me it does get better. I just have to assume they are right. I was telling someone else here that a friend told me that we are only expected to survive right now and be kind to our soul while it heals. That is all that is expected of you right now. The rest will come later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DJCCHV Posted October 19, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 I don't think so, but I would like to know what I, personally, said that offended you, Mandala. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DJCCHV Posted October 19, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 I don't think so, but I would like to know what I, personally, said that offended you, Mandala. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mavericks_goose Posted October 20, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 Thank you all of you for your helpful comforting words. I am a Christian so while the "religion" comments may offend some they do not offend me and do offer me hope and healing, just wanted to clarify that and to not start any issues. I was once told that if I am to survive this it must be in my own way of grieving that there is no right or wrong way, but to become a survivor of the loss of my love of my life I have to do what I need to do for myself. I agree with that 100%, I have been criticized and have been told "it's already been 3 months it's time to move on..." and all that comment does is just boil my blood because it's like how can I move on knowing that the future I was once looking forward to will never happen. My wedding dress hangs in my closet as a constant reminder of what will never be but was once a dream of becoming. December 1st of this year was our wedding date and while my family took care of canceling everything to do with the wedding (the venue, the pastor, the caterers, the dj, etc.) it's still a very sharp pain I feel whenever I think of it and that they were kind enough to do that for me. It hurts and literally kills me inside. I'm not suicidal by any means, I could never hurt my family and friends that way after seeing the pain that has been caused from losing my Kyle (he was not killed by suicide btw), but it is known by my family and friends that I do not wish to be here or want to be here and that I feel like I'm just stuck here to deal with this pain. Sometimes the pain gets to be too much and I feel like my heart is going to explode out of my chest. I cry so often and am so tired of the tears streaming down my face because they have come so often in my short life and Kyle was the only one that helped them to stop and now they are back again. I need to hear him say that it's all going to be okay but he can't, I need him to wipe my tears away again but he can't, I need his arms to comfort me but they can't....I just need him. I haven't been able to sleep at nights because of him being gone, I lay in our bed and it feels so empty with just tiny me laying in it. Our dog brings me comfort but I see the pain in her eyes that her best buddy is gone and she's aware of it and that causes me that much more pain. I had gotten her 4 years before Kyle and I got together and in 1 week of him and I being together he turned my dog's entire world upside down and was the twinkle in her eye and the spark in her heart. It hurts so bad to see her lay on his side of the bed and bury her nose into his pillow and wine for him....I just don't know what to do for her, but then again I don't know what to do for/with myself either. It's constant reminders of him every where that intensifies the pain of knowing I have to wait so long ....too long....to be with him again, but I welcome these reminders as the the pain they bring let me know I'm still alive in an essence but everything I once knew, hoped in, believed in, and looked forward to is gone and is buried with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mdanielson4 Posted October 20, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 I am sorry for your loss, this type of loss is not easy for anyone. I can truly say six months ago I knew it was difficult but had no idea of how difficult it was. I have lost my wife of 32 years. We had such a strong bond from the very beginning of our relationship. Many people told us we would never stay together more than six months. It didn’t bother us when we learned of them saying this because we believed in each other. Our relationship had its ups and downs we had some real tuff times. We helped each other through every bit of it. I knew from the time we started dating that I loved Mary. I promised her early on that I would love her more each day. That still goes now. I wake each morning and renew that by saying Mary I love you more today than yesterday. I miss her so! I had no idea I had so many tears. All I have to do is think of an empty day without her and the tears start flowing. I pray they are right, that this will help me heal. I can tell you sharing in this form helps me every day. I wish that people would understand some of us need the religion here too. It might not be for all but it helps me continue to live on. It is truly important. I would hate to loose this place because I don’t want to see the bickering over something like that. God bless you and give you the strength to heal.Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mavericks_goose Posted October 20, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 I am sorry for your loss, this type of loss is not easy for anyone. I can truly say six months ago I knew it was difficult but had no idea of how difficult it was. I have lost my wife of 32 years. We had such a strong bond from the very beginning of our relationship. Many people told us we would never stay together more than six months. It didn’t bother us when we learned of them saying this because we believed in each other. Our relationship had its ups and downs we had some real tuff times. We helped each other through every bit of it. I knew from the time we started dating that I loved Mary. I promised her early on that I would love her more each day. That still goes now. I wake each morning and renew that by saying Mary I love you more today than yesterday. I miss her so! I had no idea I had so many tears. All I have to do is think of an empty day without her and the tears start flowing. I pray they are right, that this will help me heal. I can tell you sharing in this form helps me every day. I wish that people would understand some of us need the religion here too. It might not be for all but it helps me continue to live on. It is truly important. I would hate to loose this place because I don’t want to see the bickering over something like that. God bless you and give you the strength to heal.MikeThank you Mike and i know what you mean by never knowing you could hold so many tears....I never thought I could cry like this or experience this pain. It wasn't suppose to be until we were old and gray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Silvergirl61 Posted October 21, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 I wanted to take a second, and say that I hope every day brings you a little more peace, and a lilttle less pain. I hope that we can all reach out to help each other, and share our feelings with each other, honestly and openly, and try to make it so we can all move through this, and not feel so alone. I am likely not of the same faith as many of the people here, but to me, that does not seem important. If another member tells me they will pray for me, I gladly accept their prayers, and I don't expect anyone to accept what I believe as what they should believe, either. But just because we believe in different ways, it does not mean we cannot respect each other's opinions, nor that we need to force other people into certain patterns or boxes, does it? Anger seems to be a part of the process- I truly hope that if I ever feel anger, I won't take it out on any one else here, or hurt them with angry words, or make them feel wrong to have tried to express what they feel in words that make sense to them, or make them hesitate to offer help in their own way to someone who can truly be reached and helped by those very words, although they aren't mine. I guess two people, asking for mutual respect makes a "we". doesn't it? I choose to let other people decide how they want to speak, and try to understand what they are saying, not tell them what I want them to say about how they feel, and what they find assists them. If I don't like their ways, I am free not to adopt them, aren't I? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mdanielson4 Posted October 21, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 Silvergirl61,I respect and honor each and everyone on this board; I pray in my own way to help “not hurt” all of you. I understand the sorrow and pain you are dealing with. As Silvergirl has said, we may not have the same beliefs as each other, we may not understand each other’s religion but we still can honor each other and help each other. I trust all of you with the words I put on these boards. I cannot hold back or not give information if I truly want help. I’m sure I will not always say the right things, but be assured I truly mean well and have your best interest at heart. God bless all of you and help you with your grief.Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted October 22, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 22, 2012 Hi everyone,I want to thank each of you for being so thoughtful and caring towards each other regardless of personal beliefs, experiences and circumstances.I would like to invite those of you who are interested in religious conversations to visit our Spirituality and Religion forums:http://forums.grieving.com/index.php/forum/7-spiritualreligious-beliefs/Spirituality and religion can bring out some very strong emotions and certainly during grieving those feelings can be heightened. Please remember personal attacks are against policies here, and please try to remember each of us are in a vulnerable state where we need encouragement and support and not criticism for our beliefs.Remember we do have an edit button in case you've posted something you may have decided is rather harsh in response to someone else.We will be here for you,ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members paulaj Posted October 23, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2012 Thank you Konnie.I hope this isn't a repeated post - if so I'm sorry. I want to apologize for being tactless - being sick hasn't put me in a good space, but that is still not a reason. No, I'm not angry because I lost my husband - It's been five years. I've been around for a while and realize some of you are new. What I think or believe doesn't really matter, but it has effected some members who have left due to this topic. Think of people who need help and are looking for a support group and think this is not the place for them because it is slanted in a particular direction. Someone could think - this is a xxxxx website and I don't belong there, have issues with it, etc. The big picture is not just about who is here, but who isn't. This site does provide a forum for religious discussions - a good thing - some sites don't.Another tip - don't make assumptions about people - ask them. Especially in cyberspace, sometimes everything is not as it seems. Over time I have seen people who bang heads with each other, have much in common and become friends.Sincerely,Mandala Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mavericks_goose Posted October 25, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2012 I did not mean for my thread to start a controversy, simply looking for support is all I'm seeking, the understanding of those that are treading these dreadful waters along side me. I seriously wouldn't wish this hellish pain on my worse enemy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members val Posted October 25, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2012 Dear Laci,Hi, it is Val. You wrote this post so beautifully. You in a few days have offered and shared so much with many here that is so supportive. You truly are an old soul. As I told you i lost Jerry July 5 2012. It is an ache in my heart everyday, especially at nights when i onlly crave to sleep.I am glad you are seeing a psychiatrist, as am I. The meds he has me on help me sleep, i just wish i could sleep more then i wouldn' t have to deal with the pain. Nightime is the worst, when i crave his hugs, his touch, his feeling next to me in bed. He always held my hand over his heart while he slept. I wish I knew better how to comfort you as you go through this painful time. Keep coming here and posting, and be in Chat. You share so much. God Bless You, hugs from Val Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mavericks_goose Posted October 25, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2012 Dear Laci,Hi, it is Val. You wrote this post so beautifully. You in a few days have offered and shared so much with many here that is so supportive. You truly are an old soul. As I told you i lost Jerry July 5 2012. It is an ache in my heart everyday, especially at nights when i onlly crave to sleep.I am glad you are seeing a psychiatrist, as am I. The meds he has me on help me sleep, i just wish i could sleep more then i wouldn' t have to deal with the pain. Nightime is the worst, when i crave his hugs, his touch, his feeling next to me in bed. He always held my hand over his heart while he slept. I wish I knew better how to comfort you as you go through this painful time. Keep coming here and posting, and be in Chat. You share so much. God Bless You, hugs from ValThank you so much Val, your friendship through this site has helped greatly. Nights are horrible for me as I don't sleep well during the nightime but sleep better during the day so the nights are extremely lonely and empty where I crave his hugs as much as you crave Jerry's, I crave Kyle's touch and the feeling of his body holding me so tightly and securely it hurts. It's those things that when I struggled with life's daily problems that brought me comfort at night and made the world seem to not exist, and that made everything seem as it would be alright just because I had him to hold me and he had me to hold him. He depended on me for so much comfort and hardly did I ever let on that I needed just as much from him. He needed me to be the strong one, now I'm the weak one and he's not here to be the strong one for me. It hurts so bad knowing this. I'm at such a loss I just don't know what to do, where to go from here, who to turn to, or how to deal with this pain or cope with the absence of not seeing his smile in person rather than on paper in a photo. I'm very glad that in one of my lonely empty nights I came in search of a forum for grief support and I found this place that has been such a great source. I thank each of you, certainly you Val and Silver and Yellowbird and Angel'sSon Susan and Gunner'sWife as you 5 women have been the ones that appear late at night when I'm in need of comfort and support the most, you 5 have been the ones who have helped in so many ways in the last week since I've joined this site as well as the extended arms of those who have commented on my thread. Thank you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jerryusc Posted October 28, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted October 28, 2012 I am also new to this. I lost my beautiful wife of 45 years on Sept. 16th. It is killing me. I miss and depended on her for so much. I was 5 years older than she and wanted to go first. The weekends are especially hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mavericks_goose Posted October 29, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 29, 2012 I am also new to this. I lost my beautiful wife of 45 years on Sept. 16th. It is killing me. I miss and depended on her for so much. I was 5 years older than she and wanted to go first. The weekends are especially hard.For me it's the weekends and the nights, those were our special times together. You've certainly come to the right place and am glad you are here. I know when I first found this site I felt so lost and so alone in my pain and in grief and felt that there was no one for me to talk to that understood, but here I have found just that---caring people who are going through what I am going through, support to help heal and to help working towards moving forward. I hope you continue to come back, sometimes when I don't feel like sharing just reading other posts and threads helps, it may not seem like it but it does. I'm very sorry you are going through this and am sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sotomayor2013 Posted October 29, 2012 Members Report Share Posted October 29, 2012 Hello all, I wanted to take a moment to say hello. I am mav's sis (not blood but sisters in Christ and friendship) and I worry so much about her. I give her as much support as I can from Indiana but I know it's not nearly enough. We have seen each other through some pretty tough times and I feel totally helpless where she is concerned. I lost my mom November 4th 2011 and as we are creeping up on the one year anniversary of her death (Sunday) I feel myself slipping more and more into my own grief and I feel like I am letting my sis down. I am so thankful that she found this site and that she referred me here as well. I will most definately be looking here for support and healing for the both of us. Thank you and God bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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