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Lost My mom yesterday


stargazer5510

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please help me :( I am 49 and lost my mom yesterday. she was in surgery and afterwards they could not get her blood pressure up, she has always had a lot of problems with blood pressure, but had beaten cancer twice as well as a multitude of other health problems. we had a somewhat dysfunctional family but as we all grew up we began to also grow closer and I did so with my mom,long talks learning what she had gone through in an abusive relationship with my dad. they divorced when i was 12.

I feel she had such terrible luck all her life and went through so much that her death is unfair!! I am angry and in so much pain it is unbearable, I can hear her voice, I want to call her, I am crying Incessantly and I feel like nothing will ever matter again if I cant share what I do with her. I already suffer from depression and have since I was a teen but I am on meds for this and do go to counseling. how do I go on? how do I ever stop feeling like my heart is shattered and---- I want to tear my father apart (we are estranged) for what he put her through. I was with her at the end. altho she was not conscious she moved as we spoke to her. I am more of a follower of Buddhism, and it was my mom who taught me to love and respect all life, and especially animals, which is now my lifes work, and to be open minded. I am hurting so badly and I am so angry that I just could not bring her back by just holding her. does that sound crazy??

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please help me :( I am 49 and lost my mom yesterday. she was in surgery and afterwards they could not get her blood pressure up, she has always had a lot of problems with blood pressure, but had beaten cancer twice as well as a multitude of other health problems. we had a somewhat dysfunctional family but as we all grew up we began to also grow closer and I did so with my mom,long talks learning what she had gone through in an abusive relationship with my dad. they divorced when i was 12.

I feel she had such terrible luck all her life and went through so much that her death is unfair!! I am angry and in so much pain it is unbearable, I can hear her voice, I want to call her, I am crying Incessantly and I feel like nothing will ever matter again if I cant share what I do with her. I already suffer from depression and have since I was a teen but I am on meds for this and do go to counseling. how do I go on? how do I ever stop feeling like my heart is shattered and---- I want to tear my father apart (we are estranged) for what he put her through. I was with her at the end. altho she was not conscious she moved as we spoke to her. I am more of a follower of Buddhism, and it was my mom who taught me to love and respect all life, and especially animals, which is now my lifes work, and to be open minded. I am hurting so badly and I am so angry that I just could not bring her back by just holding her. does that sound crazy??

I'm very sorry you lost your Mom yesterday. I lost mine to Brain Cancer two weeks ago today. We were extemely close. It's still a struggle just to get through each day. But, speaking with others on this site has made me feel less alone. I hope it will do the same for you. What type of animals do you rescue? I have two Maine Coon rescues.

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stargazer5510

My heart goes out to you. Pouring it out here helps a lot. Please try to be gentle with yourself.

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

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