What to expect

[Fadedsun]

My father is 69 and not many ppl reach a very long life in my bloodline.Overall the type of relationship I have with my father is very strong to the point that hes my best friend (meaning I look to hear from him daily and I like hanging out with him).I have alot of pause and think sessions with myself and try to think about how I would handle it,I cant imagine in any way how I could.I just fear that it will be suddenly and i'll end up freaking out.I am not good with my emotions to the point that I shut down.I would be thankful for any advice

[ModKonnie]

Fadedsun,

Everyone reacts differently to the news their loved one has passed on. It also depends on the situation and whether you were expecting it. Perhaps you could talk to your father about how scared you are about death, and he may be able to help you. It is certainly not easy to deal with, but when it is time, you will get through as best as you can.

In the meantime, enjoy your father's company as much as you can. Talk to him, and listen as he shares as many stories as he can about your family and his life.

Just be with him for now and create all the warm, awesome memories you can. Try not to worry. He's still here, and he may be around for decades to come.

ModKonnie

[klyn001]

Hey Fadedsun,

I can definitely relate to how you're feeling. I lost my grandma in January to Amyloidosis. I had lived with her my entire life. She was basically my mom. When she had become ill, I was feeling the same way you are feeling now. I didn't know what to expect and I tried to prepare myself for her passing. Unfortunately, all that did was make me paranoid and when she had the littlest cold or wasn't feeling well, I'd always jump the gun and think that she was going to die. All of my grandmother's brothers/sisters have passed away a long time ago; none lived past 80.. she made it to 89 years old. God bless her soul.

In all honesty, you can't really "prepare" yourself for it. I watched my grandma deteriorate and even though we knew it was coming, nothing prepares you when it comes to losing someone you love.

If your Dad isn't sick, don't worry your mind over stuff like that. Like ModKonnie said, enjoy every moment.

[ForeverRemembered]

I agree, you can't prepare yourself. However, I knew that my mom was sick for awhile. I didn't know she would pass away....maybe I did know, but I didn't ever imagine that it would be so soon. I knew she had a lot of health issues. I just tried to video and take pictures with her as often as I could. I tried to do things with her and spend time with her. I wanted to try to make her quality of life better. I would also say that I would have "no regrets" should something ever happen to her. Just love him now. I would give anything for one more conversation with my mother so please don't waste this precious time filled with worry. Your dad could be around for 20 more years. Just love him and if something should ever happen to him, your not alone. There is support out there for you.

[kristaleighbird]

I lost my dad in June. I had exactly the kind of relationship with my dad that you had, and I lost him exactly the same way you are fearing. All his exams the year before, the doctors raved about how healthy his heart and lungs were. And then I lose him to a heart attack?! But I started thinking, would be any better if it was long and drawn out? Would I get my hopes up that I could save him, and then have my hopes crushed. I don't think it matters how you lose your dad. Bottom line is that you'll lose him. And it's going to suck. And you can freak out, or you can feel nothing at first, none of that matters. You'll grieve how you grieve, and you just have to roll with the punches. Trying to control how you react or how you feel will just end up driving you crazy. I know that from personal experience. You've got to try to limit those pause and think sessions with yourself and just enjoy what you've got with him right now.