Going home to another state after losing my mom... but how?

[MissingMyMom10]

I live in another state than the rest of my immediate family. My father, my siblings and I just lost our mother on September 10th, 2012. The last time I visually saw my mother was last year, otherwise we've talked on the phone almost every week since. Even though my siblings and I are well into our 40's and 50's, our mother still protected us from possibly truly knowing just how sick she was (cancer.) My siblings and my father have had the chance to see her going through the phases of her illness from being very active and felling well, to being drained of her energy and laying on the couch, to going through some medical tests and scans = so I feel they have had the chance to visually see her going through these changes, which maybe helped them with the loss. I did not have this chance. If I knew how bad things were - I would have come back 'home' a long time ago... Instead, I got here just in time to have a last chat with her - just small chit chat as I did not want to wear her out as she was so tired from her long day and talking to other family who had been checking on her throughout the day.. Little did I know, that would be the last time I got to talk to my mother. She then was admitted into the hospital for just a couple of days, then transferred to hospice, where she passed away within just a few hours. I am doing what I can to process what has happened and the loss, but am needing to prepare to leave and go back to my home in another state. I am having problems with even trying to get myself prepared to do this. I'm not sure how I am going to be able to. I keep thinking that I will not be able to just go to where my mother is buried, etc once I go back to my home a couple of states away. I'm trying to make sure that I do whatever I can to be ready. I will be visiting my mom where she is buried... but what else can I do to get myself prepared to leave? I will not be able to just drive over to my parents home when I want to. I will only be able to talk to my siblings and my father on the phone. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what they have done to prepare themselves in similar situations? Feeling lost and haven't even left yet.

[GuyRodgers]

My mother passed away in 2006. The last two years I've been working on a website so that I could honor her. I came up with www.deiningthedash.com which is a free online community where people can post tributes, memories, photos, videos and write the biography for our loved ones who have passed on. I hope this can help you as it has me.