Never again in this lifetime

[Mdanielson4]

I cannot comprehend the thought of never seeing my wife again in this lifetime. It scares me to think of it, yet I cannot think of anything else. How can this be true. I have spent 32 years dedicating my life to take care of and love this woman. How can she just be gone? I think of her when I go to sleep, I dream of her, I think of her and look for her when I wake up. How can it be true that she is gone and I will not ever see her again in this lifetime. We did everything together, we worked together, went shopping together, everything! I have no words for how I am feeling. We lived for each other. How do you ignore that and move on? It is very hard to stay positive and motivated to evan take the next breath. The thoughts I am having are really not good ones. All I can think of is Mary and I want to be with her. I just don't know how to get there.

Mike

[naty0123]

Hello Mike, I feel the exact same as u....The only difference is I only got 19 yrs with John. I think about him every second of the day..I cry so much that I get myself tired. I keep thinking that he is coming home to us. The only thing that keeps me going r our girls but to be honest sometimes my heartache over rules that. The thought of never seeing them is so painful. I say pray and try to talk with someone! I know that it is difficult but for some reason we have to be here without our life partners. I took work with John, shopped everything! Some of my clothing I cant not wear because either he bought them for me or we were together when I bought them. Hang in there Mike, and continue to share your feelings.

[val]

Dear Mike, it is Val. I want to respond to your heartache but don't know how to. All I can say is that what keeps me movoing forward are the memories, the good ones, having to go to work, and hope. Hope that I will heal up well enough to live some kind of life yet in this lifetime i have left. I think of Jerry all the time. Just like you do Mary. I call him my Angel now and pray he watches over me, because I really need it right now. I'd encourage you to talk to a therapist. I do. It helps. And keep using this website, it helps me alot. Especially if there is someone to chat with. God Bless You, Val

[gunnerswife]

Mike, i feel for you I am going through the same thing, all of us on here is. Our hearts breaks for our loved ones and wants it the way it use to be.but we can't have it that awy for some reason, i am not sure why, but we can't. if i was in my 80, i would unnderstand this better, everyone dies but why so young? I am the last one of my sisters' to get married, why am i the first one to lose him? I am not the strong one he was, people says this will make me stronger, i don't see how.

[Mdanielson4]

Val, you helped me more than you know. reading a post by you has inspired me to listen to a song by Train, Calling All Angels. I cannot stop listening to it, it is exactly what I needed to hear last night. Thank you!!!

Mike

[mikesmomrs]

Mike: I too am having these same feelings...how can I ever live another day...how can I take this walk without my soulmate by my side? I went to see my sister, who is 85 and not well, today. Every time we have ever gone to see her since we retired from the military in 87, we have gone together. It was like walking into a strange place. When I finally got home again, I just sat and cried, wondering how I will ever make it through this. When we lost our son in 2006, we had each other. I have now lost my love, and I have no one to understand. I do hope that coming to this forum helps. I have been on Loss of an Adult Child now since late 2006, and it has helped, but oh, it took MUCH time. For the first couple of years it kept me alive, then slowly I started helping others, and eventually the pain softened enough that I could go a day without crying. I can't stop crying now, with my husband gone. Forty eight years of looking across the room and seeing him there...how do you get past that? LIke you and the others here, I keep thinking he will be home soon. When I come home from somewhere, I dread opening the door, because he won't be coming in with me and sitting down and getting ready for the rest of the day/night. Enjoyment seems impossible. I am so sorry that you are having to walk this road. I will walk it with you, we all will. It is the only way we can get to where we need to be, which right about now, we do not even know the where or the why. my heart to you, holding you close in prayer and thought. All of you here.

Carol