I think I am going CRAZY

[justme19132]

Hi, my name is Denise. I Lost my daughter 4 days before Christmas. I am still so angry, at friends, family, husband (stepfather), my childs father, and her fiance and dog(who were in the truck that night and came out with scratches while my baby died.) My Daughters name is Kayla Ann she was 22. She joined the military when she was 17 she loved it. She was sent to iraq two years ago and was hurt, but she came home to me. She had a back and jaw injury due to a humvee wreck. She went through many surgeries and was finally getting some normal back into her life.She was married when she got hurt and he left her could not handle deal with her injuries. On Dec. 19 she became engaged to a wonderful man in front of her whole family at our christmas get together for our side of the family. She had been fighting all that time to get her VA benifits and had just received them at the beginging of the month of december after she waited for two years,her whole life was coming together finally. She left the she lived in to drive to A VA appointment on the 18th she had her appointment and had to wait the next day to pick up her medications. The only good I can find in any of this is we got to spend that whole last day together shopping going to lunch and just enjoying each other it was her, her fiance, me and my other daughter who was at the time20 it was such a special day. Then she left to go home and 5 miles from her exit it was raining and she had an accident and was rushed to the local hospital they tried to stable her and the transported her to a trama center in another town. I was five hours aways and could not get to my baby, I could not hold her hand and let her know it was going to be okay, I could not tell her goodbye.

I am fighting with her finances, I dont want to take care of this stuff, I don't want to be finished with her. She had no insurance because she had been fighting the military so long to get her va she had no time to get insurance. We found the forms half filled out she was just waiting to get her money. They had kicked her out of the military because of her injuries with an other then honorable, I now have in my possesion a certificate from the army that I got last week that they made a mistake it should of been honorable. She now has that but what good does it now. She was wanting to go to school to learn to do something she could do with her injuries but without that certificate she could not.

I am so sorry all this is coming out this is not what i started it just keeps coming out with the grief and anger I feel. She is my baby that i miss so much and i feel that i am trapped in all this pain and anger all by myself I feel I have to take care of all this and cant stand to look at anything dealing with her death. I dont want to I want to pretend she is still in Iraq or stationed in seattle. The only thing is she called me at least once a day usually three or four times a day. We had some rough time the three of us but we were the three musketeers.Together we could fight anything together. We had just found out two years before that I have lupus and fibromyalgia and we got together and we were going to fight it together. I cant fight without her but how do I not when I have a beautiful 21 year old here that needs me more now then ever.

[517958]

Denise, I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I lost my 5 year old daughter when she drowned in a swimming pool on July 6th 2011. I also felt and sometimes still feel like I'm going crazy. My mind doesn't work the same way anymore and I know I'll never be the same person I was. Please share the story of your girl on the Loss of an Adult Child thread. There are many wonderful moms and dads on there that will be able to offer you more hope than I at this point. All I can say is that you are not alone. Others have walked this terrible path and understand what you are going through. The only advice I have is that I've realized that getting a good night's sleep allows me to better cope with the loss of my baby. I know sleep is easier said than done some days but try to be good to yourself. It's okay to be selfish and just do whatever you need to do for you right now.

[Vijayabanu]

Hi, my name is Denise. I Lost my daughter 4 days before Christmas. I am still so angry, at friends, family, husband (stepfather), my childs father, and her fiance and dog(who were in the truck that night and came out with scratches while my baby died.) My Daughters name is Kayla Ann she was 22. She joined the military when she was 17 she loved it. She was sent to iraq two years ago and was hurt, but she came home to me. She had a back and jaw injury due to a humvee wreck. She went through many surgeries and was finally getting some normal back into her life.She was married when she got hurt and he left her could not handle deal with her injuries. On Dec. 19 she became engaged to a wonderful man in front of her whole family at our christmas get together for our side of the family. She had been fighting all that time to get her VA benifits and had just received them at the beginging of the month of december after she waited for two years,her whole life was coming together finally. She left the she lived in to drive to A VA appointment on the 18th she had her appointment and had to wait the next day to pick up her medications. The only good I can find in any of this is we got to spend that whole last day together shopping going to lunch and just enjoying each other it was her, her fiance, me and my other daughter who was at the time20 it was such a special day. Then she left to go home and 5 miles from her exit it was raining and she had an accident and was rushed to the local hospital they tried to stable her and the transported her to a trama center in another town. I was five hours aways and could not get to my baby, I could not hold her hand and let her know it was going to be okay, I could not tell her goodbye.

I am fighting with her finances, I dont want to take care of this stuff, I don't want to be finished with her. She had no insurance because she had been fighting the military so long to get her va she had no time to get insurance. We found the forms half filled out she was just waiting to get her money. They had kicked her out of the military because of her injuries with an other then honorable, I now have in my possesion a certificate from the army that I got last week that they made a mistake it should of been honorable. She now has that but what good does it now. She was wanting to go to school to learn to do something she could do with her injuries but without that certificate she could not.

I am so sorry all this is coming out this is not what i started it just keeps coming out with the grief and anger I feel. She is my baby that i miss so much and i feel that i am trapped in all this pain and anger all by myself I feel I have to take care of all this and cant stand to look at anything dealing with her death. I dont want to I want to pretend she is still in Iraq or stationed in seattle. The only thing is she called me at least once a day usually three or four times a day. We had some rough time the three of us but we were the three musketeers.Together we could fight anything together. We had just found out two years before that I have lupus and fibromyalgia and we got together and we were going to fight it together. I cant fight without her but how do I not when I have a beautiful 21 year old here that needs me more now then ever.