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twmkmforever

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twmkmforever
This week would have been his 54th Birthday, he has been gone alomost 1 1/2 years, I knew him for 30 years, I Loved him so much in the beginning, we had known each other for about 3 years, we were at a party and he spun me around and kissed me so hard I had to catch my breath, that was the beginning and I was never the same. We drifted in and out of each others lives for a long time, both married other people and had families. I never forgot this wonderful man, he was the Father of my first Baby, a little boy who only lived 1 day. There is so much regret here, I should have or I wish I would have, but a year before he died I called him and we were just getting to know one another again when he died. This man has left a hole in my heart that will never ever heal. I hear it will get better, but I wonder? If I could have one more day, just one. Sorry I seem to be rambling... Tari
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I miss my husbands beautiful blue eyes and the way he would always just looked at me. He wouldn't have to say a word. He was so sweat and endearing! Never met anyone who didn't like him. I miss the little nicknames he had for me. I miss him calling me in the middle of the day just to say "I love you". I miss just sitting back and watching him in all that he did. I miss not seeing him with the kids and bonding. I miss his easy ways and how comfortable I felt always with him. I really miss not growing old with him. I miss his smirk he had. I miss him not being here to take of me when I don't feel good. I miss our vacations. I miss "EVERYTHING" about him........................Laura

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Tomorrow will be the second anniversary of my husband, Arthur's, sudden death 14.05.2004. The grieving process is such a bizarre experience, a rollercoaster ride of emotions. I have two boys 17 and 11 and the worst has been to see their pain and know that nothing I do, can fix it. Mom's are supposed to be able to make everything okay again but in this case I'm battling to help myself, nevermind them. The pain is sometimes so bad I can feel it in every part of my body. I miss him more than words can say!

The boys have not wanted to scatter his ashes, they wanted to keep them close to us but Arthur had requested that we scatter his ashes in a place that was very special to him, so we have decided to take the 4 hour trip up to the mountains where we were married and scatter his ashes tomorrow. I had read somewhere on this site about writing a special note to your loved one, putting it in a balloon and releasing it and I've arranged for us to do that too. I'm so hoping that doing this tomorrow will bring some closer for the three of us. Our problem is that we don't want to say goodbye but I know in my heart that to heal properly we have too. The thing that I find gives me the most strength is saying to myself - 'Girl, the worst thing that could ever happen to you, has, and now you have nothing to fear anymore, so come on universe, give me what you got, nothing will ever be as bad as this!' Nothing scares me anymore!

In the first moments, days, months, after Arthur died I lived from moment to moment, hour to hour, day to day and I'm so proud of myself for making it this far! I have my family to thank for this, they have been amasing, they just refused to let me lay down and die and I will be forever grateful to them for being my rock.

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My boyfriend of 5years on and off died an accidental death, in front of me a year ago on June 11, 04. I miss him so much. He had the most beautiful blue eyes (as blue as the sky). I miss the way he used to look at me with that smirk on his face. I loved to listen to him laugh, that was the best sound. I hope I never forget the sound of his voice. I miss getting phone calls from him at work or even calling home to talk to him. I remember walking through the front door and smelling the fresh smell of bread he had just made. I miss working outside with him in the yard, doing the daily routins we had. I feel so alone without him.

One of the best memories I have with him is when we went for a drive down to Red Wing, MN for the day. We drove to Hastings first and did some exploring and ended up in Red Wing, going out to isolated spots alone the river and hanging out. I was one of my favorite days with him. I just have so many good memories of him. I just loved watching him, when he was with his kids. He has two beautiful daughters ages 12 and 9 that he left behind. He had a wonderful relationship with them. They adored their father as well as he adored them. So much so, that one time he let them paint his toenails purple and gold!! (Vikings colors) He walked around with painted nails until the nailpolish wore off by itself. Not alot of fathers would do this for their daughters. I remember bringing this up at the funeral, when I got up to say a few words to honor Bob. Everyone busted out laughing when I brought that up....That was cool.

Just wanted to share my memories to others about my Bob. I miss him sooo much. He was 36 when he died...

Roseey

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donnaamaral

My husband Todd A. Amaral was a wonderful husband, father, grandfather, and friend. He would go out of his way to help people and since his death I am at a total loss....Born April 2, 1943 in Oakland California....He left behind a loving wife, five loving children, and 16 beautiful grandchildren who misses him daily...Two brothers, to sisters and a loving stepmother.

His favorite hobby was Trains (outside G scale trains) he built a whole railroad...His other hobbies were cars....fast cars..

We all miss him so much and I am at a total loss...Todd passed away March 15th., at home where he wanted to be and it was a very difficult time for all of us...He spent 5 weeks in the hospital from a Major Stroke, plus many more complications.

Todd loved live and lived it to the fullest...letting each day be a new day and he loved going go family events...his family and friends meant so much to him....

Todd also had Parkinsons Disease and it made his struggle for life even more difficult...but he never gave up...he gave every ounce of effort he had to the very end...

Todd was also an avid Harley Davidson rider before his Parkinsons Disease forced him to sell his bikes and retire early from work...he never gave nothing but his best at his jobs and when helping family and friends.

I love and miss him daily....And there was so many people that we did not even have a chance to notify...he had many friends across the country because he was also an excellent hunter and he has friends all over the states that love and miss him too much to bear.

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Hi Donnaamarel,

Just read your entry here. I'm so sorry for your loss. How long were you two married? He sounds like a wonderful man and you must be grateful for having such a good man in your life. Now that it's been over one year that my Bob has left me, I still feel like I lost him yesterday. It hurts so much. For me I think, I was in "survival" mode for the first year. Trying to get through the first aniversary of everything (holidays, birthdays etc...) And now that I made it through all that, i'm left with the reality that he really is gone from my life forever. I feel so much sadness.

Hang in there, it sounds like you have lots of family and freinds to lean on. That's good. Take care, Roseey

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Memories...where to begin...with a stormy 11 year relationship that ended tragically my best memories are of us dancing every Saturday night...that's been the toughest night of the week since Gary's sudden passing in January of this year. Tuesday nights are difficult too...we always played guitars together..we had a some book and were really getting pretty good. I don't like to play these days. I also miss Gary's "terms of endearment"...calling me "little one"..."little buddy"..."Cindi Sue".."Babycakes"...not to mention the calls several times a day just to check in. The first month after he passed and when the phone would ring around 10:30pm..the last call of the day..I just about jumped through my skin!!! Halloween this year will be tough..it's always been our holiday..we liked to dress up and go out. For several years Gary played Austin Powers...in the beginning when I suggested it he wasn't crazy about the idea but after winning many halloween parties Best Costume award and got to the point where by bestfriend and I would say is Gary Austin Powers...or is Austin Powers Gary???? I miss him so much..he was such a big kid...riding the rides at the amusement park and getting excited about how many times he road on it. Sad to say alcoholism was the killer. So many memories.

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How do I began? I married Michael Conger on June 30, 1990. He had a 18 year son, Shane. I had 2 children, Nicole 11, Matthew age 9. We put together a beautiful blended family. Our children are now 33, 25, and 23. We have a beautiful grandson, Andrew who is 10. Mike was the best husband, stepfather who turned into a "real" dad to my kids. He was a great dad to his son Shane. Shane said when his dad died June 21, 2005....he lost his best friend. Mike was the love of my life. Mike loved his little grandson with all his heart. Andrew could lite Mike's face up so quickly. We all miss Mike so much. I can't believe he is not here with me anymore. He was diagnosed with lung cancer October 2003, and fought like hell for 19 months. Cancer is an evil and cruel disease. It rips at your family's hearts. We watched Mike suffer, and fight. He was the strongest person. Only 3 weeks before he died, he told me he was dying and he was scared. I pray to God he is resting in peace. I miss him so much. My life was so happy with him. We were just at a point in our lives when it was all about "us." Our kids were all out of college, and on their own. Just when it was time for us, he was diagnosed with cancer and started treatment. During our wonderful 15 years of marriage, Mike made me always feel special. He treated me like a queen. He always did whatever it was going to take to make things easier for me. Because of Mike, I have many good friends, and a wonderful extended family. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of Mike. When it was 4 months to the date that Mike died...I recieved a call at work. I was told my brother, Ron, who was 41 years old was found dead in his bed. My heart was broken in two for the second time in a few short months. He was my backbone and rock during my time thru Mike's illness, and after his death. I could not believe this was happening.

My only saving grace, is Mike was there to meet Ron. I pray they are together in heaven. I pray they are my guardian angels. I find it hard to live in this world without anger and doubt. Why would God take 2 very wonderful people from me?

I know I believe in God. I know I will understand all this someday. My husband was the most wonderful man in my life. My brother was an angel on earth...that is why God took him. God bless you all, I wish you peace and comfort, Nancy55

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Nancy55,

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my fiancee on 11/12/2005 too. I am very new to this and am having bad days and good days. I cry every day no matter what kind of day I am having. I feel lost and like my life is no longer life. If this makes any sense.

I do try to do something every day in memory of James. Whether it be a prayer or I went as far as planting a tree in memory of him. James was the love of my life. He brought hope, love and so much more to me. I had never met anyone like him in my life and can't even imagine finding another James ever.

I went through the Hospice where I live and am going to a Bereavement class for the next 3 weeks. They meet one day a week, Saturdays, and I start this coming week. James wasn't in Hospice, his death was sudden and VERY unexpected. I know that we all have death of our loved one in common and that is why I come to this site.

My last memory of James was the morning of his death. He got down on his knees and told me that he loved me and wanted to grow old with me. We were engaged in November, 2004. I remember the look he had in his eyes and I saw how deeply he loved me. Five hours later I found him dead on our bathroom floor. I try not to think about that, as I want to remember the love we share and that he did love me with all of his heart.

My prayers are with you,

Trish

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Trish, all we can do is never let our memories of our loved ones vanish. Hold them in our hearts forever. They were here on this earth for a purpose. God bless you, Nancy55

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I lost my wife 6/23/04. She was 39 years old and she was the biggest part of my life and still is. Please people i dont know you, and you dont know me but take my advice. Love them and never let them forget it. Look out for them when their weak and sick and never leave them alone. Please be weary of your caregivers, DR's and nurses. There are terrible things happening in the world today so please be careful with your love ones. GOD brought me here, and i hope someday he will take me to where she is.

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Nancy55,

Thank you for the advice. I do hold James memories in my heart. I can't imagine not holding them in my heart. I guess that he and I had good memories, although we were not the perfect couple, no one ever is. We both had faults, but we truly did love each other and I know that the love continues, even though he is gone. A friend of mine once told me "it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all". Of course he never told me that it would be easy to loose the love of my life... I thought of his saying today and am blessed to have been able to have found James and to have shared my life with him for as long as I got to. I just wish that it could have been longer. I will miss him till God takes me home to be with him again.

Take care,

Trish

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My husband Craig was killed on 15 November 2005. We were together 4 years, married for 3. I have so many memories in our short time together, when we met, our bike rides together, me riding pillion, when Craig proposed, our wedding day, our honeymoon, buying a block of land, having our home built, getting our animals – which we always called our children, our holidays together, and so many others. I miss being able to watch him doing things around the house, just stare at him thinking how lucky I was, of his beautiful smile, his laughter, his ability to always make me laugh, speaking to him throughout the day so we could tell each other how much we loved each other, the little surprise gifts, his kindness and compassion, the way he knew me so well, the way he made everything better and could fix anything, doing things together – just anything, be it being at home, working in the yard or out, it didn’t matter,his love of life, his love of me, I just miss everything about him. The greatest things I miss though is not being able to have had children with him, and not have been able to grow old with him. He was 24 and I am 26. The memory that will probably remain foremost in my mind though, is on the Friday before Craig was killed and he turned to me and said “Becky, does true love have an ending?” I said “Yes, a happy one”, he turned to me and said “No, true love never has an ending”. I went to him and hugged him thinking it was the sweetest thing, now in hindsight I wonder if he was expecting something and wanted me to know our love would never end. I miss him so much.

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Dear Becky,

I can so relate to your post. Even eight years after losing Eddie, it's not always the big things we did together that bring back the fondest of memories. It's those quiet, intimate moments we spent alone or doing something very simple. Simple pleasures truly are the best. Take care...

DeeAnn

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I miss walking in the sand and seeing James write our names together in big hearts. I miss his laugh, his smile, his smell... James is such a beautiful man, inside and out. I have so many memories of us and all of the things we used to do. Today though I am sitting here crying for I will never get to see him write out names in those hearts on the beach again. Lord I would do anything to see him do it just one last time, but since he is no longer living in this realm, that just isn't possible.

I love you James Cruz and would do anything to see you write out names in the sand, on our beach...

Tricia Ann

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Miss the way he use to hold me, his sweet soft kiss his joking ways, just miss Chris all together these 2 weeks since you have been gone have been so empty and i feel lost, i think about you day in and day out i find comfort here just telling people how much you have ment to me these past 18 years you have made me a strong woman and i hope i can continue doing that without you here with me

i love you chris till the day i die

kathy

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I am missing my husband, Mike so much these last few days. It has been 8 months, since I lost him. I haven't heard his voice, felt his touch or been able to spend time with him. I have an enormous hole in my heart. I loved the evenings after work with him, he was my reason to get home. Nothing will ever be the same without him. He was the kindest most concerned person I've ever known. He had a huge amount of love in his heart for others. I miss that so much. I love you forever Mike. Love

Nancy

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I, too, am missing my husband, Dale. He passed away of a sudden death heart attack on Sept 14, 2005. It has been a long hard struggle these past few months. I miss our long walks, our breakfast out after those walks, our talks, our holding hands, our fixing family dinners together. We would have been married 43 years on Sept 22, 2005. We were very close and very much in love. What a shock when I found him in the back yard that morning. It was the last thing on our mind, we had plans for the weekend. He had just come in the house for a drink of water about 15 minutes before I went out to join him. I have felt so empty and so alone since his death. He had been retired about 8 months and there was still so much we wanted to do and see together. He was only 61. He too was a kind, gentle person. Always ready to help others. After his death, I got cards and letters from the people on his postal route telling me what a wonderful caring person he was and how much they would miss him. I still work part time 1 1/2 days a week and coming home to any empty house without him is very hard. Weekends are also hard if our children and their families don't drop in. Somehow, God willing, I am getting through this but it is oh so hard. I also am a Nancy

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Hi everyone I also lost my husband of 28 years to a massive heart attack..He was just 46 just turned it the day he died..:( and we share 3 beautiful kids together 2 girls that are grown then surprise we had a baby in 2003 a boy ..she will be 3 April the 16th and he was the last precious gift my dear husband gave me before the good lord took him from me my husband died in our boat at the lake we were actually celebrating his birthday whebn he had the attack it killed him right in the boat in front of me and the baby..that was the hardest thing to see..and something that I will never get over watchin him die and people tryin so hard to save him..but to no use..It was just his time..like 15 min before he passed he kept tellin me and the baby how much he loved us..so thats something I can always remember...after he died and they told me when they was workin on him in the boat he was gone I went to the boat just to scream out I love you..I hope he heard me..the sad thing is my almost 3 year old son now has a heart condition and will require soon soon..he is very sick now in the hosp..with all kinds of infections so I need prayers for him so much..I could'nt stand to lose him too...but I do wanna say to you all how sorry I am to hear of you loss I know all the people you lost are very special too you..but now they are free of pain..its been a year in a half for me and the pain is still so real and here..God Bless you all and I will pray you find some happiness..please think of my baby in your prayers he really needs them..

Hugs to you all,

Cindysue

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I went to the beach yesterday and as I was walking along I found LOTS of shells. James and I used to go down to our beach and pick shells as we walked along the waters edge. After I got cleaned up from the beach, I went to church and once again, during mass I could feel James stairing into my soul. I always cry at church. I miss him eyes and his laugh and his hugs and his kisses. I just miss him. I look forward to meeting him on the other side, when it is my time to go.

Trish

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I could feel James skin. He had such beautiful skin. Then I could picture him dead. His skin was no longer beautiful. I miss him so very much...

Trish

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lostinmyownhead

I remember the day I married my beloved Scott. I remember looking into his beautiful brown eyes as we said our vows. I remember how gently he placed the ring on my finger and promised to love and cherish me. I remember gently placing the ring on his and promising to honor and love him.

That was the most beautiful day.

I miss him so much.

My dear Scott.

February 2, 1973 to February 7, 2006.

I still vow to honor you, love you, cherish you. I vow to hold you in my heart until that beautiful day when I can, once again, hold you in my arms. Our love is eternal, my darling, sweet, wonderful husband.

Forever yours,

Erin

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In November of 2001 my wife, Lore, and I lost a son. David Joseph was still born about four weeks before his due date. Lore had carried David for just over eight months and had developed a bond with him that I could not begin to understand. I don't know if I will ever grasp the depth of that bond, but with her passing, I am now intimately familiar with the feelings she described to me in conversation. There is very little difference between her grieving experience over the loss of David and my grieving experience over my loss of her.

Lore journaled her thoughts often, including those of her grief over David. God saw fit to allow me the privilege of being comforted in my loss of Lore by some of her own thoughts and prayers. The following is one of the journal excerpts which she intended for those who are grieving. My hope parallels Lore's in that I hope that anyone who reads this will find some comfort in a spiritual remedy through Jesus. She wrote:

"Grief is a normal process of recovery we go through following a loss. Any loss of great magnitude, the death of a loved one, a divorce, a lost job or home, etc., is a life-altering event. For me, the stillbirth of my fourth son proved to be a life changing experience. Along with grief and inevitable change comes a great deal of fear and uncertainty. Newly surfacing feelings are devastatingly painful, seemingly forever changing who I am and how I view things. However, in looking back at my life I have found that this isn’t such a bad thing. In my searching for an answer to the “Why?” question, I found the Lord. I gave my life to Christ in December 2001, less than six weeks after my son died.

The past year, my walk through the grief has been decorated with the love and power of God. The old adage ‘time heals all wounds’ would be more accurately stated ‘over time, God heals all wounds.’ I miss my son greatly but I wish to celebrate and honor his life by glorifying God. God gives me comfort and He has instructed me to use the comfort He gives me to comfort others. If anyone is grieving, know that God is holding you right now and He will lift you up. You are special in His eyes; “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matt. 5:4) Feeling inspired, I wrote this analogy of my journey through the grieving process through this past year. My prayer is that God will touch the life of someone grieving today and reveal Himself to you.

The Stairway

Walking through grief can be like climbing a seemingly endless stairway, devastated and broken you find yourself at the bottom only to see the monumental task before you. With no choice you begin moving up the steps but soon come to a door labeled PAIN AND SUFFERING. None of us want to go through that door so we look for a way around it. Looking left, looking right, going down and coming back up, only to find that door again. It hasn't changed and we despair because we realize there is no way around it. So we bite the bullet and open it.

Oh, it is a lonely, cold and painful doorway and we weep, wail, and moan. We seek comfort in anyway we can get it. We cry out for God’s mercy as we walk through it. The door closes, only now we are on the other side of it. On this side is the comforting warmth of the Son, along with a little bit of His strength and courage.

Before we know it, there’s that door again. The process is repeated over and over as we move upward. However, we begin to notice that at the beginning of our journey, the doorways seemed so close together, every few steps or so. But each time we walk through a doorway, the next one seems it was a little farther away. We begin to experience longer periods of warmth, comfort, strength, courage and even wisdom between the doorways. Love, joy and laughter are restored in our lives as we grow stronger and continue our travel up the stairway.

Sometimes, we come to a doorway that we feel we are not ready for or comes too quickly after the last. Yes, we tire and doubt and we want to give up sometimes. But in our wisdom we have seen that beyond each doorway there is more. Faith and hope have been bestowed upon us now and deep within us comes the desire to keep going.

Our Lord is faithful and just. He promises He will never leave us or forsake us. For in our journey and beyond each doorway our Lord provides a piece of Himself. A piece of His love, comfort, courage, strength, wisdom, joy, faith, hope and even gratitude for us to hold as we meet each new challenge. For He is in us, carrying us, showing us the way through the doorways, providing all that is needed for us to sustain our journey up the stairway. He is keeping us looking up and bringing us closer to Him everyday. For the day will come when we reach the top and meet our Lord in His Heavenly place where we will abide in Him forever and ever.

Lord, I thank you…For Your love which sustains me through all; For my loss, through which I have come to know You; For Your patience with me as I learn and grow in You being aware that I sometimes act in ways that may not be pleasing; For the sacrifice You gave on Calvary, so that I may live with You always; For Your Word where I receive Your instruction; And for sending Your angel, my beloved David who will not return to me but I to him.

In Jesus Precious Name, Amen!

By Lore

In memory of David Joseph

Born silently into the arms of Jesus

11/21/01"

In loving memory of Laura “Lore” Patricia, beloved wife, daughter, mother, and friend, my hopes and prayers are that all of us, who are grieving a profound loss, find a lasting, living peace.

John

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tigerishurting
I went to the beach yesterday and as I was walking along I found LOTS of shells. James and I used to go down to our beach and pick shells as we walked along the waters edge. After I got cleaned up from the beach, I went to church and once again, during mass I could feel James stairing into my soul. I always cry at church. I miss him eyes and his laugh and his hugs and his kisses. I just miss him. I look forward to meeting him on the other side, when it is my time to go.

Trish

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Hi Everyone; In the beginning I couldn't share memories because they were all coming from pain and I didn't think I could do them justice. But I just heard this song on the radio and I smiled at the memory. So I guess some healing is taking place.

Stanley and I met in school and at the time I was going with another guy. The relationship wasn't going real well as he didn't want me to get my life together and that was all that I wanted. Stanley and I had alot in common but I wasn't really in a position to pursue him. I liked him though.

Well the guy and I broke up and I moved to my parents house on the beach. They have this beautiful condo and it is a very peaceful, romantic setting to say the least. I invited Stanley over for dinner and he accepted. He wasn't in a relationship and we were just going to hang out. I was in the kitchen cooking and I've got the CD player going and a song came on called "All True Man", by Alexander O'Neal. Now I'm dancing, stirring pots, oblivious to everything ,just having a good time, singing the chorus,

If you want a man, Strong but sensitive

Anything you need,I'll be willing to give

Every day and night, I will treat you right

Cause I'm an All True Man

At that point I turned around toward the sink and there was big, beautiful Stanley standing behind me dancing that awkward looking dance that he did so well. It suprised me of course but it was the sweetest moment that I had ever shared with a man. We continued to dance until the song was over, not a word between us. But what happened between us that evening was just pure magic. I knew then that he was going to change me forever, and he did. I love you baby.

Stanley Eric Noel

Dec 10, 1957- Jan 13 2006

R.I.P

My All True Man

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yankeeswife

My husband Frank died of sudden heart attack on Nov.30. As everyone knows all the "firsts" are so difficult. I was sick for the first time since he died. When he was alive , he would baby me so much when I was sick. He would keep putting cool washcloths on on head whenever I had a fever and make me go to a doctor if I had a fever. He would always say he couldn't take it if something happened to me. So ironic , it happened to him and now I am suffering instead.

It is also hurricane season once again here in Fl. We got our first watch with depressing rain last week. I was never afraid of anything with Frank. He made me feel so secure. Now ,I worry about everything.I know if I becme ill , there is no one to take care of me. I lived in a house before and now live in a mobile as everyone knows is like inviting a hurricane to hit you. I'm afraid of breaking down at night in my car. My life has became such a burden to myself. I am not at the point where I can talk about good memories. ALL my memories so far are about when life was good and now it isn''t. I hurt so bad.

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Hello to all. You are all in my prayers. Tomorrow morning, June 21st at 9:15

it will be one year that I lost my husband Mike. This last year has been hell, as I unexpectedly lost my 41 year old brother too. I don\'t know how I got this far. I think because of good family and friends. But, I still have a huge hole in my heart. I miss seeing Mike everyday. I miss talking to him, him calling me everyday at work. Coming home and seeing him on his lawn mower. My life without him is nothing. I look forward to nothing in this life. With the help of prayers I hope I someday find peace. My future is now what it was. My memories are all I have now.

God bless everyone

Nancy55

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During mid-autumn of 2002 I was in a coffee shop doing my daily crossword puzzle , when in came this beautiful asking directions to the resteraunt that her daughter Shari was working at. Over hearing her request I piped up and offered to escort her right to the front door. But she would have no part of that, so I asked her if I could at least walk her to the corner and point her in the right direction. She did agree to my request and that did thrill me beyond all expectations. I knew that I wanted to be with this woman for the rest of my life. I knew that I had to be with her any way that I could we were truly the definition of soul mates (You know,you can tell) we were the perfect match for one another.

I had asked her her name after I had shown her where the resteraunt was and she said her name was Tondy. From that moment on I was enchanted by her way. The beauty in her eyes, the lilt in her voice,the hint of Texas in her voice as she spoke moving her lips so delicately. I was indeed under her spell as I gazed into her lovely green eyes hoping that they would always be with me.

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When I was foutteen years old at the end of my 8th grade I met a boy. He wasn't the cutest out of the bunch but there was this special something in his eyes when we looked at one another.In the mornings I would try and time myself so that by the time I got to the corner we would meet in time so that we could at least walk to the next street corner together.....worked out perfectly everytime so I think he timed it on his end, too. That turned into a 35 year relationship after we married at 21. He got better and better with age and was one of the finest men and human beings I ever met and it was my privage to say I was married to him. He was so handsome with blonde haie and the bluest eyes that could just pierce you with love.......he is in my heart and entrenched in my soul forever.

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Surviving a Heart Attack (just read)

This one is definitely worth your minute: I suffered a heart attack recently and I did one thing that brought almost immediate relief.

With all my strength I tried to stretch my body and overcome the bending position one is forced to when suffering a heart attack.

I put myself in supine position, put my STRETCHED ARMS TO THE SIDES at slightly greater tha right angle and stopped tossing and turning and moving my fingers, which I thought was the best way to REDUCE ADRENALINE – the main culprit of a HA. I felt almost immediate improvement in the depth of my breath, the pain the muscle cramp started receding. After 15 minutes I was able to stand up.

Putting arms to the sides looks to make the chest and muscles inside it expand and that streches the cramped heart muscle (like soccer players stretch their cramped calf by bending the foot to the maximum, just raise your arms above the head level and you can see it does make the chest expand). Staying totally motionless seems to induce a state of maximum relaxation of the body (which reduces adrenaline.) and muscles (including the heart muscle).

Please try using this technique when facing death. It can really help you and your relatives survive a heart attack.

Greetings

Andrew

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Good Morning All; Last year at this time I was getting together the last of the plans to marry the love of my life. Stanley was getting ready to go to his cousins house to hang out because of course he couldn't see me before the wedding. It was finally happening and we were both a little nervous even though we had been together for the past five years. Tomorrow he would be my husband and I would be his wife. I was so honored that he had chosen me to spend the rest of his life with.

The next day must have been the hottest day of the year. But it was our wedding day. So on July 27, 2005 surrounded by friends and family, we pledged our love to each other.

because you let me know you completely

because you are still a mystery

because you do not wish to change me

because you changed me forever

because you see the good and true in me

because you forgive all else in me

because you are not who I expected to love

becuase you are just who I need to love

Stanley died on January 13, 2006, but I can never forget all that the strength of his love brought to my life. He was a beautiful man who had the kindest eyes, most gracious spirit and the biggest, most generous soul I had ever met. And he touched me in ways that if I close my eyes even now,I can still feel. So in honor of our union, on the eve of the day he made me the happiest woman in the world. I would like to say that heaven got a good one. I will always adore you baby and I thank you for loving me. Happy 1st Anniversary Stuff.

Always and Forever,

Your goodies

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loosingeddie

STARCHILD TODAY IS YOUR ANNIVERSARY AND I JUST THOUGHT I WOULD TELL YOU, YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS.....GLAD YOU HAVE SO MANY BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES.....HE SOUNDS LIKE A WONDERFUL MAN..MY ANNIVERSARY IS AUG, 23RD AND THE ANNIVERSARY OF EDDIE'S DEATH IS RIGHT AFTER SEPT. 1ST ... SO I HAVE THOSE DAYS AHEAD TOO....WELL MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU...TODAY AND EVERY DAY

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alwaysmyjennifer

Although these are different, very different, still, happy anniversary my friend. Hold onto your memories like diamonds. He's always as close as your heart.

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I am missing my husband, very much. He has been gone 14 months and my brother 10 months. I lost these two lovely men within 4 months of each other. My pain in my heart is unbearable. My huband was my true soulmate and I only had 20 years with him. My brother was 41 years old, and I helped take care of him as he was a twin. Losing my brother was like tearing a part of my whole past, present and future life away. Losing my husband was like losing half my body. My soul feels empty. I always had fun with my brother and husband. They both were very fun and caring. My life has changed so much. My heart continues to ache.

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alwaysmyjennifer

Nancy55, I am so very sorry you have lost your husband, and your brother. Losing a twin must be such an overwhelming pain. I'm sorry. Please take care of yourself now. You need rest, and eat, and get plenty of water, especially we who are crying. We're always here to listen, to help, to heal together. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Mark

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It's a beautiful fall day here and I have the day off! I have been working outside with the woodpile, pulling flowers, cleaning the garage etc. Somehow I have peace today and the most wonderful memories of my husband are coming and going through my mind without bringing pain. This was our favorite season and we were outside as much as we could be during September and October. Tomorrow may be different but I am really enjoying this one. I hope all of you can have a day like this once in awhile. Mary Jo

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alwaysmyjennifer

You should enjoy today. This is a perfect day. I remember 21 years ago, meeting my wife. I can still see clearly that cute outfit she wore, and her earrings, even the fragrance of her perfume, which I just had to buy as we celebrated our anniversary. Many times, we wondered and worried if she'd even live to see two decades of marriage, her first grandchild (he's a step to her, but she's grammie all the same), or even see our last child become an adult. Mary Jo, you're right. Tomorrow may be different, but today is beautiful. She's still here, and I get to be with my love just a little while longer. It's good to hear of the good days. God bless ya.

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Nancy55,

I know how you feel. I lost my dad and my husband within 5 months of each other. My dad actually "passed" on my husbands birthday...Dec. 7th. I lost my two best friends in the whole world and I feel lost without them. I am still expecting the phone to ring with them on the other end. I also feel as if I lost half myself the day my husband "passed". We were "twin souls". Kindred spirits....my dad was always my biggest supporter and we leaned heavy on each other especially after my younger brother was killed in our house fire...I was ten. Sometimes, it feels totally unbearable when I think of them both not being here with me...I never in a gizillion years would have thought that when my dad left my husband was right behind him and then 3 weeks later my mom "passed". I loved them all! I think we go on shell shocked most of the time with tiny acceptance of it all each day but it never really sinks in and feels alright.....I am sorry you are suffering so. I would take your pain away if I could but please know I am here and you have a friend that knows and understands.....please let me know what I can do to help.....prayers your way.

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Thanks to all of you. This month is a hard month for me. My birthday is the 12th, my husband\'s the 29th and i lost my brother one year ago on Oct21. So, this month was always my favorite until last year. With my husband gone, our birthdays are not the same. And it is so hard now, that my brother died in October.

All of you, I wish peace and comfort..and lots of love. God bless you all during your grief. Love, Nancy

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alwaysmyjennifer

Nancy, I'll try to remember your birthday, to wish you the best for the day. Looking at special days is difficult. When Jenni's birthday draws near, I get so many emotions, all at once. I miss my little girl so badly. This is her 32nd. Her step sister and I have gotten together for her birthday since we met. I know this is very painful and difficult for you. Please be sure to do something for yourself, allowing yourself to feel special. I pray you have all you need, and above all, peace in your heart. Mark

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missingcurtis

Good Morning,

I usually post on the I Miss Him board but this weekend I just to wanted to post to see if the hurt will go away.

I lost my husband last December to lung cancer. I made it through Christmas last year just 2 weeks later, then our birthdays were in January. So I have not had too many things between January and now.

We had been married on a beautiful Thanksgiving Day back in 1969. We had 36 wonderful years together and usually had a 4-day weekend every year.

This year I spent Thanksgiving day with friends and family. I worked on Friday and went shopping Saturday. Today I am getting ready for Church. It seems like a fitting place to be today.

Tomorrow will be the actual anniversary day and I will be at work. Thankfully we are usually busy all day and I will go by the cememtery after work.

He was greatly loved and is greatly missed. Be he went to be with the Lord and we will be together again one day.

Debbie........Missing Curtis.............

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Debbie, as I read your post I am looking at a picture of my husband splitting wood that was taken last year on this weekend. It's really hard to realize how things changed in the past twelve months. I was doing fairly well until today but I am also hurting right now. I think we both know we will get through this but these painful times are rough. You're right.... you and Curtis will be together again..... so will Rod and I.... and it will be glorious when it happens! Keep your faith! Thinking of you. Mary Jo

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There is something special about a cold winter sky... full moon and stars seem so close and bright. One of my favorite memories of my husband is the times we would bundle up, drive into the country and stand outside the car so that we could see the stars without interference from city lights. How I wish I could do that tonight with him. Mary Jo

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I have sat here all day in tears and did not understand why until I went to right the date down somewhere and I figured it out..My dear sweet Steve would have been 48 today.. Happy Birthday Bud!!!!!God has you under his care somewhere in the sky but even though I have moved on I still sit and wonder WHY? WHY? WHY? I will have a special place for you in my heart forever and always..We miss you forever and Always ..Jeanne Marie , Levi and Dallas,I still dont know how to deal with him being gone. I still smell him around me and still feel him looking over my shoulder..Will this always be???

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I have sat here all day in tears and did not understand why until I went to right the date down somewhere and I figured it out..My dear sweet Steve would have been 48 today.. Happy Birthday Bud!!!!!God has you under his care somewhere in the sky but even though I have moved on I still sit and wonder WHY? WHY? WHY? I will have a special place for you in my heart forever and always..We miss you forever and Always ..Jeanne Marie , Levi and Dallas,I still dont know how to deal with him being gone. I still smell him around me and still feel him looking over my shoulder..Will this always be???
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missingcurtis

Memories, that is what Christmas is full of. Memories of days gone by. Memories of better days. Memories of happier times. Memories of when Curtis was here to share Christmas with me and to put up with my moods.

This is my second Christmas alone. Oh I have family and friends but I am spending the day alone. I will go to the cememtery pretty soon and visit with him but my heart is not into seeing all the happy people.

Just remember your loved one and be glad for the times you had.

Debbie

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