Members eventually Posted February 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 17, 2008 Hello, I'm not use to this blogging to complete strangers thing. I have no were else to go. My family and friends haven't experienced the loss of a significant other. Which I would never wish upon on anyone. My fiancee passed away on Aug 4th, 2007, 3 days after my 28th birthday. He was only 29. I've always been afraid of death. This really didn't help, now I think the same will happen to me, and now I'll be all alone. I know this is selfish and it comes from my active imagination. I will never forget the last noise he made, I thought he was dreaming, I called 911 and began CPR. The paramedics couldn't get a pulse on him. I had to call his mom and tell we were going to the ER. It was so hard and I felt so bad. I never got to say how much I loved him. I miss him so much, Outside I'm coping, inside is another story. My heart is broke, when he was buried it went with him. I can't express what I feel in words. His family wants me to move on. I have no desire to. People don't understand why I haven't let him go and why I'm not dating. It hurts and I feel so helpless and lost. I hate the pited looks people give me,I feel like a 5th wheel when I go out with our coupley friends. I just feel so lost......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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