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lostwithoutMelinda

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lostwithoutMelinda

Hello everyone - I'm having an especially bad evening - I lost my beloved Melinda on May 30, 2012 at 12:50am after a six month battle against stage 4 colon cancer - I held her hand as she took her last breath at home. We'd been together for over 23 years, married for over 21 - I met her when she was 20 and I 21 - we built everything we have together, from scratch - as my (yes) therapist says, we were just kids. I am firmly convinced that were were soulmates (heck how else would she put up with me for so long!) - that the utter improbabilities of our meeting were so high that we were set by fate/destiny/Providence - whathaveyou - to meet. She was an is my life, and when that stealer of life, cancer, took her, it took me too.

I have to "solider" on as my Mel expects me to make sure that our kids are set upon the right path - son is 18 daughter is 13.5 - so I figure I've got to pound sand for at least 8 more years.

I am a great believer in signs from my Mel - both her in my dreams, and signs in general - even today, had really nice one earlier today - but the pain is worse each day - I've literally no one else and I at home usually sit on the couch where she sat for the last month or two of her life. For the last month of her life she was too weak to stand up by herself, etc., hence my signature line.

A few things keep me going - Mel's expectation that I do what I have to do to keep home going; my work on a website/advocacy group about specific problems I saw with her treatment; and my "journaling" of our story (I used to write sci fi short stories...so I'm writing ours).

Other than that, I can't wait to be with her again.

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Hello everyone - I'm having an especially bad evening - I lost my beloved Melinda on May 30, 2012 at 12:50am after a six month battle against stage 4 colon cancer - I held her hand as she took her last breath at home. We'd been together for over 23 years, married for over 21 - I met her when she was 20 and I 21 - we built everything we have together, from scratch - as my (yes) therapist says, we were just kids. I am firmly convinced that were were soulmates (heck how else would she put up with me for so long!) - that the utter improbabilities of our meeting were so high that we were set by fate/destiny/Providence - whathaveyou - to meet. She was an is my life, and when that stealer of life, cancer, took her, it took me too.

I have to "solider" on as my Mel expects me to make sure that our kids are set upon the right path - son is 18 daughter is 13.5 - so I figure I've got to pound sand for at least 8 more years.

I am a great believer in signs from my Mel - both her in my dreams, and signs in general - even today, had really nice one earlier today - but the pain is worse each day - I've literally no one else and I at home usually sit on the couch where she sat for the last month or two of her life. For the last month of her life she was too weak to stand up by herself, etc., hence my signature line.

A few things keep me going - Mel's expectation that I do what I have to do to keep home going; my work on a website/advocacy group about specific problems I saw with her treatment; and my "journaling" of our story (I used to write sci fi short stories...so I'm writing ours).

Other than that, I can't wait to be with her again.

LostwithoutMelinda,

It sounds as though you are going through the motions and plodding on although your heart is shattered. What you are feeling is common. You will have some real ups and downs for awhile. I am glad you are writing your story--you may find some healing through this.

We will be here to listen to you,

ModKonnie

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