How can losing a parent be a "blessing?"

[ThomasP]

I lost my father to cancer 2 years ago. Since that time, a good number of well meaning people have told me that his passing was a blessing, because he did not suffer long, and that God took him quickly. They advise me to be at peace with the fact that that he did not linger and suffer for years, but was gone within a year of his initial diagnosis.

Does it matter how long someone suffers as to whether it is a blessing or not?

These kinds of comments make no sense to me. I know others mean no harm when saying such statements, but they do little to comfort the fact that my dad still died. Whether he suffered for a short time or a long time, the pain of his loss still hurts every single day. I continue to struggle with his passing every day. I was there when he took his last breath, holding his hand as went into eternity.

In my mind, there is no 'blessing' in losing a parent.

[blujonny]

I think everyone has an opinion and it's basically nothing more than that, filtered through a kind of sympathetic lens. I think the initial period after the death becomes a very 'judging' time for the one who has lost the loved one. Their emotions are heightened and they are almost in a fight or flight mode as their emotions seem to be an enemy within. Feelings of helplessness and confusion can often cause these elevations of anger and irritation.