How do I unfreeze?

[imnotalwaysright]

I lost my Father back in 2007 and still to this day I've not grieved. I know this because since that day he died, I became an "Ice Queen." I don't feel. I'm numb. Nothing phases me or upsets me, I just feel nothing, all the time. It's affecting my relationship with my partner & despite his (sometimes loud) complaints, I can't force a feeling. Why am I blank?

My Father was a severe alcoholic and I was with him the night he died. I've never seen a human in that way before - bold yellow and frail with black fingernails and completely 'non coloured' eyes, they were just, like, transparent or something. I can't explain it properly.

But since then, my emotions, everything shut down.

Then this year, my Brother was told he had a tumor on his lung and wouldn't live to the end of the year. He's only 38 & he doesn't smoke. But luckily, he's super fit and they did give him an op in March to remove his lung. But during the time he was ill, I had massive bouts of tears, so very upset. My boyfriend went nuts on me wondering why I could be emotional over my Brother but I can't be upset for him when h has a bad day (WTF!)

Anyhooo - generally, I'm OK, I just can't understand why I am so unfeeling and numb emotionally since my Dad died. I used to be so loving & open & delightful! But now, I'm like a stone.

And no, I can't talk to my boyfriend, he does not, never has, and never will understand.

[gert1974]

I can totally relate. My Mom passed away May 21 of this year and I cried when it first happened but have been numb for the most part ever since.I was in the room when Mom took her last breath & I had never experienced that before.I used to be the happy, bubbly one, but now I am quiet I keep to myself. It hasn't really "hit me" yet. I thought , and still do, that I am too young at 37 to lose my Mom. . .

Everyone keeps telling me it's normal. My husband is of no help whatsoever. I spent day after day at the hospital with Mom...he never came. Ever since she died he is always "somewhere else"...whether thats work (when he decides he wants to work), or the bar with his friends he is never here and I am left to deal with the lose alone at home

I lost my Father back in 2007 and still to this day I've not grieved. I know this because since that day he died, I became an "Ice Queen." I don't feel. I'm numb. Nothing phases me or upsets me, I just feel nothing, all the time. It's affecting my relationship with my partner & despite his (sometimes loud) complaints, I can't force a feeling. Why am I blank?

My Father was a severe alcoholic and I was with him the night he died. I've never seen a human in that way before - bold yellow and frail with black fingernails and completely 'non coloured' eyes, they were just, like, transparent or something. I can't explain it properly.

But since then, my emotions, everything shut down.

Then this year, my Brother was told he had a tumor on his lung and wouldn't live to the end of the year. He's only 38 & he doesn't smoke. But luckily, he's super fit and they did give him an op in March to remove his lung. But during the time he was ill, I had massive bouts of tears, so very upset. My boyfriend went nuts on me wondering why I could be emotional over my Brother but I can't be upset for him when h has a bad day (WTF!)

Anyhooo - generally, I'm OK, I just can't understand why I am so unfeeling and numb emotionally since my Dad died. I used to be so loving & open & delightful! But now, I'm like a stone.

And no, I can't talk to my boyfriend, he does not, never has, and never will understand.

[acaringheart]

I know the feeling.I myself freeze up and I am on and off in tears ..It is so hard..My mom was like a mom and dad a best friend I miss this and I am so empty..

[blujonny]

May I ask how long ago your mother passed?