Heartbroken about Our baby girl

[Laura and Dean]

My husband and I are so devastated and can’t stop crying about our beautiful girl Holly. Three days prior to taking Holly to the emergency clinic Holly was active and running around. She just turned 5 on April 26. Holly woke up not feeling well on the 29th of April. She was very lethargic and clingy, only wanting me to hold her and she would not eat her breakfast. We immediately took her to our vet in Grants Pass and found that her white blood count was extremely low. The vet said she had thrombocytopenia. Our vet suggested that because her white blood count was so low we should take her to the emergency vet and it would be a good idea for her to have a transfusion. She informed us that they should be able to have her for 24 hours, do the transfusion, and monitor her overnight. Our vet sent over all information before we arrived. When we got there it seemed the most important thing was money up front-before any consultation with the vet. After we put $1,000 on our credit card a very rude and disrespectful nurse came out and said, “What’s going on?” I figured she would have known. I wish I would have taken our little girl and immediately left. She took her from my husband’s arms. The doctor came in the room and informed us that they did not have blood or plasma and they would have to keep Holly for up to four days and it would cost between $4,000 - $8,000 dollars. My husband and I are on a fixed income and for some reason we felt that there were no options for her but to let her go. Could she have been saved by other means besides a blood transfusion that we were told by our vet that the emergency vet could do that day? Our vet called ahead and we were under the understanding that it was our option. We would have paid for one night, but three to four? We made the heartbreaking decision to let her go. I’ve been crying for  days and I’m so angry at how this transpired. I want my baby girl back. Hindsight I would have taken her home and loved her until I had examined all the facts because after we let her go we realized with medication she had a chance at a long life  I feel so guilty about letting her go and so angry at the emergency vet for not telling us the facts.  We feel she was all about the money .  I’m heartbroken 💔 😭
 

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[KayC]

I am so sorry!  The hardest thing in the world!  You did what was undoubtedly best, sparing her any more trauma, sometimes we can't see that at the time, only wanting to save our baby, but they likely would have run up a huge bill and not saved her.  That happened to my sister and BIL.

Your baby is at peace now and that's a gift you gave to her.

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died over 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

[Choogy]

So sorry about your baby.I don’t know if I’ve missed it but was Holly a little cat or dog?…I can so relate to your issue with the vets.Its definitely a fact that some (not all)can be quite cold hearted when it comes to the money part of getting our pets seen too.My hubby and I are the same as you,broken hearted!Our 16 month old cat was mauled by dogs with no obvious injuries except she was in severe shock,I found her laying  in our back yard motionless and not making a sound,only her eyes were moving.It was clear that she needed URGENT attention.It was just after 7am and most of the  vets opened at 8 am at the earliest.Our own vet didn’t open till 8.30,so I made the mistake of taking her to a closer vet that opened at 8am.There was a nurse there who’d opened up a bit earlier,she said I can take her and give her oxygen but understand you’ll be charged.Then when the vet turned up it was like we want to do X-rays do you want to know the cost first😒Anyway to make a long story a bit shorter.I had to leave her there but was given hope that she’d likely be ok.5 hrs later I got the ph call to say she’d passed away.That cost was $1000.I was prepared to pay whatever I could ,but 5 hrs!!!!And I have the sad feeling that they prob found her passed away in the cage,not that they were working with her.If only I’d left it for a few mins longer and taken her to our vet.Its been 4 weeks now and we’re both still struggling.

I hope you and your husband feel better soon☺️

[Suzee]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how painful it is to lose a dog, and questioning  whether you made a mistake only makes it worse. 

I know that you feel guilty and wish that you could turn back the clock, but you definitely did the right thing! You likely just prevented your dog from experiencing a longer but more painful life. 

I know that doesn’t take away the pain of loss, but I just wanted you to know that it’s not your fault. 

Wishing you gentleness as you heal.