Members Aimee Posted May 31, 2012 Members Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 There are so many things I miss about him. His voice, which was always loud; his smile, which wasn't often; and the way he made me laugh. But one of the many things I miss most is feeling him next to me in bed. Hearing him breath while he slept. I am really stuggling at night. Drs. have put me on meds, and they seem to work a bit. I don't know what more to do. I feel like I am losing grip on things. What keeps me going are my kids. Daughter, 15 and son, 10. My husband died suddenly of a heart attack at home.... for some reason I feel guilty that I didn't even know he was struggling. I simply went to bed after he complained of heart burn, something he had constantly. I should have been a better wife... I should have listened to his complaint. I know it isn't my fault I know I didn't do this, but I can't help but feel I could have prevented it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted June 1, 2012 Moderators Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 There are so many things I miss about him. His voice, which was always loud; his smile, which wasn't often; and the way he made me laugh. But one of the many things I miss most is feeling him next to me in bed. Hearing him breath while he slept. I am really stuggling at night. Drs. have put me on meds, and they seem to work a bit. I don't know what more to do. Give yourself plenty more time and be gentle to yourself, even "spoil" yourself if you can think of anything (a new outfit, a day trip, a trip to the spa, whatever). Also consider grief counseling. Drugs should be a last resort, not a first. Glad they are helping some though.I feel like I am losing grip on things. What keeps me going are my kids. Daughter, 15 and son, 10. My husband died suddenly of a heart attack at home.... for some reason I feel guilty that I didn't even know he was struggling. I simply went to bed after he complained of heart burn, something he had constantly. I should have been a better wife... I should have listened to his complaint. I know it isn't my fault I know I didn't do this, but I can't help but feel I could have prevented it. You were supposed to know that his (frequent) heartburn was a warning sign for heart attack? Do you realize how totally unfair and unreasonable that is? If not, pls do so now. As you say, it was NOT your fault, and realistically, no, you couldn't have prevented it. And I've no doubt you were a fine wife. Give him credit for knowing what he was doing when he married you. I'm so sorry for your loss. As stupid of a cliche as this is (and pardon me for it), hang in there. People are here to listen any time and unlike those who have never experienced something like this, can relate and appreciate what you're going through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members justsomeguy Posted June 1, 2012 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 The night time is the worst. I have nothing to offer but empathy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cruise Posted June 1, 2012 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 There are so many things I miss about him. His voice, which was always loud; his smile, which wasn't often; and the way he made me laugh. But one of the many things I miss most is feeling him next to me in bed. Hearing him breath while he slept. I am really stuggling at night. Drs. have put me on meds, and they seem to work a bit. I don't know what more to do. I feel like I am losing grip on things. What keeps me going are my kids. Daughter, 15 and son, 10. My husband died suddenly of a heart attack at home.... for some reason I feel guilty that I didn't even know he was struggling. I simply went to bed after he complained of heart burn, something he had constantly. I should have been a better wife... I should have listened to his complaint. I know it isn't my fault I know I didn't do this, but I can't help but feel I could have prevented it. Dear Aimee! My girlfriend of 8 years passed away on Dec.21st of a stroke she had on nov.24th of last year. I know how you feel and things will get better a little bit at a time, You will see your husbands life live on through your children as they grow up and live life. Feeling guilty about trying to be a better wife is perfectly normal and none of us are perfect. My girlfriend had headaches and dizzy spells but had know insurance and we were just getting enough money to get her to see the doctor and she had her stroke. I know this might sound odd but whenever I get home I say hello to her as I walk through the door and when I'm cooking I also talk to her because she always did all the cooking. I'm so bad a cook that I could burn water but when I talk to her it seems like she's there wispering in my ear and the dinner's turn out great. I ring some chimes she made in the hallway to say hello also. Try to remember the good things about him and if you have pictures or video's sit down with the kids and remember his Warmth and Goodness. I thought I was feeling much better until Memorial Day when on the way to work I passed a cemetery and lost it in tears. For me I surround myself with Gloria's belongings and spray her cologne in the bedroom and on her pillow. Time will pass and you will feel better but there are instances when you'll feel as if it happened yesterday. We are all her for you so always let us know how your doing. My name is jeffrey and you have a new friend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Aimee Posted June 1, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 Thank you for your kind words. I know it will take some time. I haven't called a therapist yet, but that is on my long list of things to do. I have been trying to keep it 'normal' or as normal as things can get for the kids, so my days and weekends are filled with work and sports. I am thankful for the distraction. I am also thankful that I found a place where I can speak with anonmity. I think my co-workers are avoiding talking to me so as not to upset me. Understandable. Thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted June 2, 2012 Moderators Report Share Posted June 2, 2012 Thank you for your kind words. I know it will take some time. I haven't called a therapist yet, Just FYI I suggest finding a "grief counselor," not just some garden variety therapist. Better still, if possible, find one who's been there/done that. I have and it's made ALL the difference. You don't need some trendy psychological routines or doublespeak, but someone who truly GETS it. Just my .02. Best to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.