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GabbyOliver
Posted

Yesterday Tuesday April 25th at 12 o'clock i got my 15 year old jackabee put down. She had plenty of issues as she would sometimes lose balance and her body was covered in bumps that made it hard for her to sit. She had this weird breathing think but she snored so cute. I had her since i was 7 years old I'm 22 now turning 23 soon. On April 24th she was attacked by my sisters bigger dog, which left multiple gashes in her head. I could see what looked like her skull under her layer of skin I'm not sure if thats what it was. Her ear was torn and there was another hole in her head and one on her neck. My sister got her a guaze and wrapped her head up. We couldnt afford to get her stitched up maybe. I feel like it wasn't her time why did I immediately jump to putting her down? she had bladder problems yes but it never made me hate her. I will be moving soon and theres no way the stairs at the apartment would allow for her to live happily with her old hips and joints so i thought the best solution would be to get her put down anyway but that wasnt for another 2 months...... i wanted to give her the best week ever i had so much planned for her she was so happy she could run and jump and she acted like she wasnt 15 at all. Did i jump the gun????? Was she happy or was she in pain. i know its better to not let them be miserable but i never felt like she was in constant  pai. i dont know anymore i miss my dog she still had time and i took it away i took her life away she was still happy she was still excited i feel so awful i cried over her body so many times i miss her so much i would do anything for her i wish i didnt im sure she would have been finr with the wounds i dont know i killed my dog and i miss her

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Posted

Will post when I get home... I am so sorry.

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Posted

I am so sorry for your loss!  My dog had inoperable cancer, his liver shutting down, I put him to sleep  two months ten days after diagnosis.  Two weeks later I wanted to dig him up out of his grave, I missed him so badly.  We did the best we could both you and I, I, I would have been gladly homeless if I could have saved my dog  but there was nothing could be done and he was getting more infirm every day.  You don't want to watch your dog get to that point, you want to spare them.

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died over 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

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