Members bengath Posted April 18 Members Report Share Posted April 18 My best mate of 10 years left me on the 27th of March. I don't have any children just my Brutus, I got home from work he could not walk or stand l, I carried him outside for a bathroom break he could not goi carried him inside laying next to him, he gave a couple of screams I gave him a cuddle and he passed away I hate myself so much 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted April 18 Moderators Report Share Posted April 18 Please don't hate yourself for what you couldn't know or change. It is common to accept the blame because we feel responsible for them and love them so much, but he would not hate you, if there's any forgiveness needed he would do so immediately, but I think he would tell you how much he loves you and wants you to be happy, I know, a tall order when we're grieving. You can rest assured your Brutus is at peace now... The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died over 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs... Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers A Dangerous Villain: Guilt Breaking the Power of Guilt A Dangerous Villain: Guilt http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sad Artist Posted April 25 Members Report Share Posted April 25 I'm so sorry you lost Brutus, especially in such a sudden way. Please don't hate yourself, I think we all deal with guilt over the loss of a pet. My dog was also my best friend and as close to as having a child as I'll ever experience. I had a lot of time to process her passing, to plan for it, to make it as comfortable for her as possible and I still feel guilt over it. I know the term gets used a lot these days but I think losing a pet can be traumatic. I think Brutus passing so suddenly must have been such a shock to you. I think we all try to wrap our minds around something that doesn't make sense and question our every decision. You loved Brutus, you take care of him, you did everything right. Take care and I'm so sorry for your loss. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bengath Posted April 26 Author Members Report Share Posted April 26 Thank you for your lovely words, the pet funeral Home brought his ashes home today I cried but at the same time I was happy, happy that his ashes are back with me. Hopefully the pain gets Les painful 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted April 26 Moderators Report Share Posted April 26 It's so hard to get used to them being gone, I walked a neighbor's dog to help me because I was so used to walking Arlie and when he was gone it left a huge void in my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members klowndog Posted Wednesday at 09:53 AM Members Report Share Posted Wednesday at 09:53 AM He's with you always friend. Love yourself for Brutus. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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