Ways to kill time

[widower2]

One of the challenges I've found after my loss was having too much time on my hands and what to do with it...esp in the evening...wondering if others  had this and how you dealt with it. 

One simple way I found was youtube. I don't watch much TV/etc so sometimes this is my "TV."  I'll think of a show or topic or celebrity or whatever and do a search and find something, then to the right there are various other links, some related some not, and off I go, I can sometimes do that for hours. 

[WithoutHer]

@widower2 when Vickie passed and being retired I had and still have 24 hours a day of trying to figure out what to do with myself. Having no family or social circle needless to say I have been a complete homebody. I couldn't watch any of the shows we watched together and still don't. She really liked the true crime shows and there are so many. Can't do it. I do watch TV but I've taken to reality shows mostly. All the Life Below Zero series for example.

But recently I also have been turning to YouTube mostly later in the evening. Like you I'll search something random that comes to mind. But in doing so while searching some old music videos I discovered Reaction videos and have gotten some entertainment out of them. Being a teen in 60s and early 70s and playing drums in a band back then I feel of course my generation created the best rock and roll music including the psychedelic era that has ever been recorded. I like watching the younger generation reacting to these songs they've never heard. I've yet to see a reaction video to the songs of the era that didn't impress and get some "holy crap" reactions. Today's music is all bumper to bumper lyrics and for the most part the musicians are an after thought. I just get a kick out of it and I think of Vickie while doing so. She was 7 years younger and had wider interest in music variety then me but we both liked those old tunes. Sometimes I tear up knowing she would have enjoyed the reactions as much as I do. 

[widower2]

Hey I'm of a similar era......it has sometimes amazed me the videos that are on YT. For ex. I'm not the biggest Beatles fan ever, but there are some great videos of them on YT that aren't widely known like interviews etc.  But it's more than music......for ex. I'm not a big Johnny Carson fan in terms of his monologues or skits, but he has had some of the greatest moments in talk TV IMO with various celebs and others (like Joan Embry and animal "moments"). Guess I'm showing my age!  

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

Usually start the day doing yoga style stretches while “The Price is Right” is on.  After that I’ll fix breakfast, perhaps some oatmeal or shredded wheat, read the newspaper, scroll through email.  Nothing much there these days.  Veronica’s favorite soap is on at 1 pm and so I let it run while I do dome weights or leg exercises for about 25-30 minutes.  Go for a walk around the neighborhood, usually at least 2-2.5 miles.  I have stuff to do in the garage in the way of maintenance for my truck or planning next tasks on my project cars.  Hobbies cost money so I have to be careful of that.  

Have been streaming a few shows lately; “Masters of the Air” on Apple, “Halo” on Paramount, and “The Chosen” on Prime.  

Here soon I need to prep my old Montgomery-Ward electric mower so I can cut the lawn, front and back, after the rains forecast for the Easter weekend.  

And, I do 2 or 3 driving shifts per week for the Red Cross.  

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

9 minutes ago, widower2 said:

Johnny Carson fan in terms of his monologues or skits, but he has had some of the greatest moments in talk TV IMO with various celebs and others (like Joan Embry and animal "moments"). Guess I'm showing my age!  

Yeah, I remember some of Johnny Carson’s funniest moments with comedian George Gobel sharing his Air Force story.  If you can find that you will be rolling.  Yes, showing my age!  

[LMR]

1 hour ago, WithoutHer said:

@widower2I like watching the younger generation reacting to these songs they've never heard. I've yet to see a reaction video to the songs of the era that didn't impress and get some "holy crap" reactions. 

My husband liked to watch those on YT too. I had quite forgotten. I didn't enjoy them and I thought some reactions were faked.

@widower2 I find the days just seem to disappear. I do keep the tv on when I'm home alone. I can't watch things we watched together which is why I started watching NCIS. I've seen all the prior series multiple times. It doesn't matter that I know what's coming. I can't watch comedies in general but we have a show here called QI, a panel show that sometimes makes me laugh out loud.

[LMR]

I quite like World War Weird and Abandoned Engineering too.

[WithoutHer]

1 hour ago, LMR said:

My husband liked to watch those on YT too. I had quite forgotten. I didn't enjoy them and I thought some reactions were faked.

I have to agree that some are fake without a doubt but I can spot them right away. Doesn't deter me from enjoying some great memories. But I admit like so many here in the music thread have said there's some music/songs I can no longer listen to. 

[KayC]

My hours are opposite of you, I'm up in the wee hours and don't nap, go to bed early.  Not much tv, but yesterday I had it on while in the next room on the laptop, listening to their findings about the Boston Bridge collapse.  It will be on the news for a long time as this will not be quick or easy.

Me, I loved the Beatles, Simon & Garfunkel, Peter, Paul & Mary, The Everley Brothers (I had older sisters that brought these into my life), plus my first job at 14 was as an usher at McArthur Court (U of O).  I got to meet a lot of singers there.

[LMR]

We loved the Everly brothers. Saw them several times. They left you with such a great feeling. I grew up with the Beatles. My husband was a little older and grew up with Elvis and Jerry Lee Lewis.

[HisMunchkin]

 

6 hours ago, LMR said:

I can't watch things we watched together

 

7 hours ago, WithoutHer said:

I couldn't watch any of the shows we watched together and still don't.

Same.  Aside from some streamed shows, we used to watch a lot of YT videos - food and travel vloggers.  Even just thinking about those relaxing times together makes my heart ache.

If I had a lot of time on my hands, I'd play with my favorite video game, The Sims 4.  It makes for a good escape from reality into a virtual world that you can create - build houses, have you Sims get married, have kids, raise the kids, have grandchildren, pets, etc.  Come to think of it, I can make a Sim of my husband's likeness as a way to keep him alive in game.  Or is that too creepy? 😛  But honestly, I have not had the appetite for any games for a very long time.  Now, when I have a hour or so before sleeping, I'd read or listen to audio books.  The latter is more for helping me sleep cause I find that I find that I don't pay attention as much as when I'm reading, and if the reader has a soothing voice, it helps me fall asleep. 

[DWS]

9 hours ago, WithoutHer said:

Being a teen in 60s and early 70s and playing drums in a band back then I feel of course my generation created the best rock and roll music including the psychedelic era that has ever been recorded. 

In these past couple of years of my grief, I discovered two channels on Youtube that might interest you. First and foremost is Rick Beato's popular channel. Beato is 60 and was/is a music producer from the late '80s/early '90s. He also teaches guitar and is very passionate/extremely knowledgeable on music. He's had some great guests on for discussion about the rock world. I've learned so much about sessions musicians used on so many of the pop songs from the '60s to '80s. 

The other is the Professor of Rock channel. This guy seems to put out an interesting 20 to 30 minute video every day! https://www.youtube.com/@ProfessorofRock/videos

[DWS]

12 hours ago, widower2 said:

One of the challenges I've found after my loss was having too much time on my hands and what to do with it...esp in the evening...wondering if others  had this and how you dealt with it. 

Yes...that's me in a major nutshell. One thing that I started to do...very new and unusual for me...is watching old classic movies. I was never much of a movie-goer. I just seemed to have too much on the go or my interests always went elsewhere so spending a couple hours watching a movie was never appealing. I didn't watch many movies in my teens and for thirty years of my adult life, I worked part-time as a dj in nightclubs. Needless to say, I could never participate in discussions about movies with others in all that time.

Since Tom's passing, all of the world that I knew stopped. I'm now playing catchup on old movies that I've always heard of but never took the time to watch. I'm being fascinated by the films from the late '40s and 1950s. I've watched so many that I recently had to start a spreadsheet listing all of the titles, their actors and plots just so I can keep them all straight! And I now love film noir!!

[widower2]

I like Beato as well. 

[KayC]

40 minutes ago, DWS said:

I recently had to start a spreadsheet listing all of the titles, their actors and plots

I love it!  I'm  somewhat of a nerd myself, who else do you know who has tracked their electrical usage against their activies and kept a spreadsheet on it for years?!    Ha, that's me!  I just had to look up Monday, I couldn't figure out why my usage was so high, didn't do laundrdy or cook...figured out that was the day they worked on my well.  No idea why that'd make it so high but it did.   Keeping track of movies sounds way more fun! 

[DWS]

33 minutes ago, KayC said:

I love it!  I'm  somewhat of a nerd myself, who else do you know who has tracked their electrical usage against their activies and kept a spreadsheet on it for years?!    Ha, that's me!  I just had to look up Monday, I couldn't figure out why my usage was so high, didn't do laundrdy or cook...figured out that was the day they worked on my well.  No idea why that'd make it so high but it did.   Keeping track of movies sounds way more fun! 

Having a home business, I created spreadsheets on my monthly internet, phone, electric and natural gas usage in order to claim some of it for tax breaks. They date back many many years! I have those plus the receipts so I am well equipped for any disputes that might arise with these suppliers. I also have one for monthly auto gas expenses that show the number of litres bought at each gas station visit plus the cost per litre. I made a formula that calculates how much distance I got out of that gas purchase...and then it all adds up to what I not only spent on gas but how far that got me that year! Spreadsheets can be fun and eye-opening too. 

[WithoutHer]

@DWS Thanks I will check those out. I  enjoy listening to and hearing the unknowns relating to music of the era. 

[KayC]

3 hours ago, DWS said:

Spreadsheets can be fun and eye-opening too.

Yep!

[widower2]

On 3/28/2024 at 1:27 PM, KayC said:

I love it!  I'm  somewhat of a nerd myself, who else do you know who has tracked their electrical usage against their activies and kept a spreadsheet on it for years?!    Ha, that's me!  I just had to look up Monday, I couldn't figure out why my usage was so high, didn't do laundrdy or cook...figured out that was the day they worked on my well.  No idea why that'd make it so high but it did.   Keeping track of movies sounds way more fun! 

I have my movies and of all of my music on my laptop now and I found a cool app that auto-creates a spreadsheet of contents of a given folder/sub-folders, so I used it to create one of all of my music, sorted by genre and then artist. I admit I don't use it much, but It has come in handy a few times when I wondered if I had a particular song etc. Also I was surprised at how many total songs there were. 

[RichS]

For me, lots of things fill out my day---------taking care of my son, attending to my sports card business/hobby, score keeping almost year round for youth and adult activities in my town. Watching You Tube videos of mundane things. And yes, I too am a spreadsheet nut; using it for a lot of things to help make my life easier. Love listening to my favorite band (The Beach Boys). Nice to have all of this stuff to do, but would trade it all in just to have Chris back.

[widower2]

I'm curious, are there any other message forum sites do y'all visit to kill time? I was on a couple of sports ones for awhile, but they went away, which was a bummer, seems there's nowhere to do so these days. I was also on a financial discussion/advice site, but their mods were complete (insert nasty word here), so I left. About the only other one I go to now and then is this music production one called gearspace.com. 

[SSC]

This is the only forum I have found that is consistent with “regulars” and maybe that is why I keep reading and coming back because many of you feel like old friends.  Of course we have the terrible loss in common and that seems to bring a feeling of acceptance even tho we probably think very differently on many subjects.  I remember being so desperate when my husband died and when I found this site it was such a relief to have a place to go,  to read and ask questions.  Now it has evolved to something different.  More to check in to see how everyone is doing.  To compare my grief journey with others… just so I know I’m not going crazy…but I also like the chit chat threads and the silly banter.  This site has quite a special community, thanks to those who have created it and keep it that way!

[RichS]

I go to this one about once a day:  https://nypost.com/sports/

There is often a discussion board around 3/4 down many of the articles (depending on the sport you choose to view). I don't participate, but I find the commentary amusing.

[HisMunchkin]

12 hours ago, widower2 said:

I'm curious, are there any other message forum sites do y'all visit to kill time? I was on a couple of sports ones for awhile, but they went away, which was a bummer, seems there's nowhere to do so these days. I was also on a financial discussion/advice site, but their mods were complete (insert nasty word here), so I left. About the only other one I go to now and then is this music production one called gearspace.com. 

Reddit? 

[widower2]

17 hours ago, RichS said:

I go to this one about once a day:  https://nypost.com/sports/

There is often a discussion board around 3/4 down many of the articles (depending on the sport you choose to view). I don't participate, but I find the commentary amusing.

I don't participate in those either actually, as in my experience they're usually inhabited by 10 yr olds (or people acting like one). I mean a site like this, whose main or only purpose is a message board in general, not for specific articles.

[LMR]

On 3/28/2024 at 4:19 AM, widower2 said:

One of the challenges I've found after my loss was having too much time on my hands and what to do with it...esp in the evening...wondering if others  had this and how you dealt with it. 

 

Eating!!!!

The first year I didn't eat much at all and I lost 20 lbs. I've put it all back on since then. Now I nibble. It's just a way to break up the day, like they used to do on long sea voyages. Even the cat is a convert! She was injured and wasn't allowed outdoors. I was told to give her smaller more frequent meals to give her a sense of routine. It works for both of us. 😁

[KayC]

I woke up at 11 and never got back to sleep, it's 3:30 am, on my second cup of coffee...talk about time on your hands!

Still waiting to hear back from the Mormon missionaries, been over two days, I badly need their help cleaning out the garage, I can't have the salvation of my electrical/water tank/pipes/freezer room without it.  

[RichS]

Things tend to shut down over the weekend. Hopefully you'll hear from them today....................

[Roxeanne]

On 3/28/2024 at 5:44 PM, DWS said:

fascinated by the films from the late '40s and 1950s. I've watched so many that I recently had to start a spreadsheet listing all of the titles, their actors and plots just so I can keep them all straight! And I now love film noir!!

I always love that old movies...black and white, great actors, great directors, great screenwriters...and great stories!!! I suggest to you one of the best for me..."Out of the past" with Robert Mitchum, Jane Greer, Kirk Douglas...it's a bitter story of redemption!

[HisMunchkin]

6 hours ago, LMR said:

The first year I didn't eat much at all and I lost 20 lbs.

I've also lost weight.  The first few days after my husband's passing, I felt like throwing up when I tried to eat.  My appetite has improved since, but I seem to still be losing weight.  I weighed myself today.  I've lost weight again in the last month.  So far, about 7-8 pounds since his death, but my BMI is now at 16.7. 

[DWS]

6 hours ago, Roxeanne said:

 I suggest to you one of the best for me..."Out of the past" with Robert Mitchum, Jane Greer, Kirk Douglas...it's a bitter story of redemption!

I've watched so many movies in the past couple of years that I'm not sure if I saw it or not! I sure have learned that Robert Mitchum was quite a badass in a lot of movies...particularly in the chilling "Night Of The Hunter" with Shelley Winters' character's sad fate (she didn't fare well in "A Place In The Sun" either!) Adding in The Poseidon Adventure, her characters all seem to not do well when they're near water. 

One movie that I had never even heard of but now is one of my absolute favourites is 1955's "Marty" with Ernest Borgnine and Betsy Blair. It won the Oscar for best picture that year along with both actors winning best actor Oscars...and deservedly so. The movie brilliantly shows the pain and angst of someone not only feeling the loneliness of searching for "the one" but also dealing with family and friends' expectations. When the two characters meet and chat all night in the New York diner, you see the true power of love bloom as they both discovered someone who actually found them attractive and interesting after spending their lives thinking otherwise. It brought everything out clearly for me why losing my partner has crushed me so much. 

[Roxeanne]

1 hour ago, DWS said:

Robert Mitchum was quite a badass in a lot of movies..

Not in "Out of the past"...in this movie he is the good man who try to find a new life for him!

Robert Mitchum was a great actor, one of my favourites

[widower2]

He was also not a guy to be messed with...I remember Burt Reynolds telling a story of they were in a bar and some guy thought he'd pick a fight with Mitchum to show everyone who the real tough guy was around here. Mitchum, with a rather bored look on his face, said "someone tell this guy's friends he's about to have an accident" lol...it did not go well for the guy

[Roxeanne]

6 hours ago, widower2 said:

He was also not a guy to be messed with...I

Yes that actors of their generation, i think are so good 'cos they came from real life...they were poor, they worked different works, they had to fight for themselves...and almost casually ended in movies!

So they knew what is life...

[LMR]

My sister is away for a few days so I am truly alone for the first time in ages. On the one hand it's nice, I don't need to feel guilty about doing nothing at all but at the same time it's frustrating that I cannot summon the energy or enthusiasm for anything. I have pretty much just sat the whole day long. I used to have things I was at least thinking about doing but I no longer care.

[RichS]

4 minutes ago, LMR said:

I cannot summon the energy or enthusiasm for anything. I have pretty much just sat the whole day long. I used to have things I was at least thinking about doing but I no longer care.

I get days like that at times. One thing I do notice about myself is that I tend to have the energy (ambition?) to do things in the morning. By mid to late afternoons, my energy tends to fade; especially when it comes to things that are kind of a hassle.