Struggling after losing dad

[wwldrlnj23]

My dad died in June from a car accident, that we still aren't sure how it happened. I was on vacation with some friends when my mom called me. It took over 12 hours to get home because the weather was awful, I was in shock and sobbing the entire time just wanting to get home.

I can't think about him or talk about him without losing it. Before he died he had been gone a lot and I'd already been missing him so much. He was home for a day before he left again and then that was it. He was my favorite person and my biggest supporter. I am in so much pain constantly and I can't figure out when things will get better. 

I can feel myself feeling angry all the time. I have less patience for almost everyone. I tried going to therapy, reading helped for a while, and I've tried to create healthy routines for me to follow to try and feel normal. 

Nothing is helping, I am so miserable and unhappy. I just miss my dad and want him back but I know that is not possible. 

I don't know what I'm looking for here. I'm sad and don't know how to keep myself going. I feel like I'm one bad day away from a full mental breakdown. 

[widower2]

I'm very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you're on the right track, though it may not feel like it. Therapy, keeping busy, taking care of yourself etc are all good ideas, although they're no "magic cure" of course. If there are family and/or friends (or a significant other) you can talk to, that could be something else. Or maybe try therapy again?

Understand that losses like this can take a long time to really regroup from...longer than a year I doubt is uncommon. Allow for that and try to take a day at a time. You might also consider asking a therapist/psychologist about anti-depressant meds too. They're no panacea either, but in the short term, they can help.